How to help depressed loved ones

Hey guys so I have had a terrible weekend. My younger brother has been depressed for a while now, but last night it all came to a head and he has told my parents that he won't be alive by the time he's 25 (he's 22 at the mo). He says that he has nothing in this world for him, and he feels that death would be better. This is not just a threat, for a while I've been thinking that he could kill himself because of how depressed he is. He has no friends, no job, he's not at uni, he has no money, he never leaves his bedroom, when I come back to my parents he doesn't even come down to say hi to me or anything. I told my mum and dad that they need to take him to a doctor but I know that he won't go, so I advised that maybe they should call 999 but they wouldn't; they said they would make him go to the doctors. I just don't know what to do to help him. I try to talk to him but he just doesn't listen to anything I say. I invite him out with my and my friends, my boyfriend etc... but he won't ever come out. I've offered him a job at my work; he turned it down. I'm just so lost, and I don't wanna lose my brother.

Also my boyfriend has told me that he's suffering from depression (he told me this before all the drama with my brother last night). He feels that he is a "waste of space" and "worthless". He's embarrased about his job, he feels that he has nothing good going for him and he's not eating properly or anything. He used to love playing guitar and he doesn't do that anymore, he used to go to the gym everyday and he hasn't been since we got back from our holidays.

I just feel so exhausted, I couldn't sleep last night with worry for them both. But I can't tell anybody how it's making me feel, cos that would be selfish. I don't really know what I wanted from this post, I just needed to vent, and perhaps any advice on what I can do to help them get better.

Reply 1

beccaarr

There's nothing wrong with talking about your own feelings, it effects you too and you need someone to suport you, otherwise you won't be able to help you brother as well.
As hard as it seems, you really need to get him to a doctor. Or maybe get someone to the house if he won't go. You need to persist at it, how ever long it takes or how hard it is, he'll thank you for it in the end.

I hope it works out for you.

Reply 2

Mousickle

The thing is with depression is that it is not a logical thing, and so no matter how much you try to talk to your brother and try and make sense of it, he probably wont see it.
You could try going to the doctors or a counselor at uni if you go, so you could talk to them about it and see if they can offer you any useful advice on hwo to deal with it.

Reply 3

Thud

http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/wiki/How_to_help_a_depressed_person ?

Reply 4

bitterendx

I know it's difficult, but I suggest you keep telling your parents that they have to do something about it :s-smilie:

Good luck OP. :frown:

Reply 5

dita_parlo

Well the doctor has been round to my parents today and has just referred my brother to a psychiatrist again. Which is useless because he has been referred before (by the same doctor) and just never bothered going to the appointment. It's so frustrating, it's like he has to actually attempt to kill himself before they will do anything.

Reply 6

beccaarr

There isn't much thqt can be done unless he goes. You need to convince him to go. EVen if he doesn't want to, just try your hardest to make him understand how much he needs it. Even if you've already done that, keep at it. It'll get to the point he'll soon realise you just want whats best for him.

Reply 7

Joantoo

maybe you can try talking to brother, showing him love and care simply by giving him little gifts that he likes, trying to recall those childhood memories, encouraging and giving him mental support, invite him for lunch and all?

have you tried asking your boyfriend why he's depressed? you wanna try going out with him, watching a movie(happy one) and eating dinner together?

i hope these helps, have faith in yourself!

i'm not sure... actually i'm quite troubled too... :frown: