Please Help.
I have STRONG feelings for this girl.
I’ve told her 3x I like her and she’s always maintained we’re good friends.
I’m now breaking of with her as much as possible because it hurts so much.
We became VERY close emotionally and she shared how unhappy she was with her boyfriend.
The problem is I MISS HER SO MUCH. The natural connection we had the humour, the laughter, the DEEP conversations, the hours spent together 1:1, the texting. Just HER!! She’s so amazing.
Everyone thought we’d end up together.
We are now like total strangers. We say hello and goodbye etc.
We don’t text anymore. ☹️
She’s said she’s working on it with her boyfriend...
Whilst I’m left feeling like I’ve lost someone incredibly important to my happiness in life in recent months. At first she was nice then I grew feelings.
The BIG problem is I work with her as a teaching member of staff at school and we can’t help but see eachother. The school is where this relationship seemed to build. We never arranged to meet socially.
I’m trying to AVOID the stuff we did before but it HURTS...
What do I do?
Anything would be much, much appreciated.
I’m 24 she’s 22.
I’ve told her 3x I like her and she’s always maintained we’re good friends.
I’m now breaking of with her as much as possible because it hurts so much.
We became VERY close emotionally and she shared how unhappy she was with her boyfriend.
The problem is I MISS HER SO MUCH. The natural connection we had the humour, the laughter, the DEEP conversations, the hours spent together 1:1, the texting. Just HER!! She’s so amazing.
Everyone thought we’d end up together.
We are now like total strangers. We say hello and goodbye etc.
We don’t text anymore. ☹️
She’s said she’s working on it with her boyfriend...
Whilst I’m left feeling like I’ve lost someone incredibly important to my happiness in life in recent months. At first she was nice then I grew feelings.
The BIG problem is I work with her as a teaching member of staff at school and we can’t help but see eachother. The school is where this relationship seemed to build. We never arranged to meet socially.
I’m trying to AVOID the stuff we did before but it HURTS...
What do I do?
Anything would be much, much appreciated.
I’m 24 she’s 22.
(edited 4 years ago)
You need to look at what is best for YOU first. Do you want to be friends or do you not think you can be friends without getting hurt due to her not returning your feelings and wanting to make things right with her boyfriend?
If you want to be friends with her, tell her. She can't read your mind, you just need to say exactly how you feel: that you've drifted apart maybe and you wish to stay friends as you don't want to lose the bond you had with her.
If you don't think you can be friends with her without being hurt, you need to try and take some space. Yes, it will probably be difficult. Yes, you will miss her. But it will allow you to think things over and maybe even if you think it is best, begin to move on.
Nobody can tell you what to do though, or how to do it. You know your own mind. All you need to do is forget everyone else and focus on what is best for YOU.
I'm sorry you're in this situation, it's horrible having feelings for someone and not having them returned! But there will be someone one day that will return your feelings! I had this dilemma once with a friend of mine. She was my best friend and she moved schools (yes, I'm only 15) and I used to see her at least once or twice every week in the beginning, but then she got a boyfriend and I begun to see less and less of her. I knew before that, that I liked her, but this made it worse as I hated not seeing her as much anymore. She then begun to have relationship issues and I tried to be there for her, but it was very hard as I knew I had feelings for her and I didn't like her boyfriend and felt like she should leave him as he was treating her poorly, making her feel bad all the time and even controlling what she was posting on social media at one point! When I took a step back, however, their relationship ended as my friend decided it would be better if they parted and now its been a couple of weeks. I still haven't seen her though as she and I both have our mock exams this week and next week. The space has made me realise, though, that even if she doesn't like me back, I still want to be her friend as her friendship is something which I cherish. It may be different for you though. You just need to do what is best for you
And just remember, we can't help what we feel!
Hope this helped
If you want to be friends with her, tell her. She can't read your mind, you just need to say exactly how you feel: that you've drifted apart maybe and you wish to stay friends as you don't want to lose the bond you had with her.
If you don't think you can be friends with her without being hurt, you need to try and take some space. Yes, it will probably be difficult. Yes, you will miss her. But it will allow you to think things over and maybe even if you think it is best, begin to move on.
Nobody can tell you what to do though, or how to do it. You know your own mind. All you need to do is forget everyone else and focus on what is best for YOU.
I'm sorry you're in this situation, it's horrible having feelings for someone and not having them returned! But there will be someone one day that will return your feelings! I had this dilemma once with a friend of mine. She was my best friend and she moved schools (yes, I'm only 15) and I used to see her at least once or twice every week in the beginning, but then she got a boyfriend and I begun to see less and less of her. I knew before that, that I liked her, but this made it worse as I hated not seeing her as much anymore. She then begun to have relationship issues and I tried to be there for her, but it was very hard as I knew I had feelings for her and I didn't like her boyfriend and felt like she should leave him as he was treating her poorly, making her feel bad all the time and even controlling what she was posting on social media at one point! When I took a step back, however, their relationship ended as my friend decided it would be better if they parted and now its been a couple of weeks. I still haven't seen her though as she and I both have our mock exams this week and next week. The space has made me realise, though, that even if she doesn't like me back, I still want to be her friend as her friendship is something which I cherish. It may be different for you though. You just need to do what is best for you
And just remember, we can't help what we feel! Hope this helped
Original post by Arron2134
I have STRONG feelings for this girl.
I’ve told her 3x I like her and she’s always maintained we’re good friends.
I’m now breaking of with her as much as possible because it hurts so much.
We became VERY close emotionally and she shared how unhappy she was with her boyfriend.
The problem is I MISS HER SO MUCH. The natural connection we had the humour, the laughter, the DEEP conversations, the hours spent together 1:1, the texting. Just HER!! She’s so amazing.
Everyone thought we’d end up together.
We are now like total strangers. We say hello and goodbye etc.
We don’t text anymore. ☹️
She’s said she’s working on it with her boyfriend...
Whilst I’m left feeling like I’ve lost someone incredibly important to my happiness in life in recent months. At first she was nice then I grew feelings.
The BIG problem is I work with her as a teaching member of staff at school and we can’t help but see eachother. The school is where this relationship seemed to build. We never arranged to meet socially.
I’m trying to AVOID the stuff we did before but it HURTS...
What do I do?
Anything would be much, much appreciated.
I’m 24 she’s 22.
I’ve told her 3x I like her and she’s always maintained we’re good friends.
I’m now breaking of with her as much as possible because it hurts so much.
We became VERY close emotionally and she shared how unhappy she was with her boyfriend.
The problem is I MISS HER SO MUCH. The natural connection we had the humour, the laughter, the DEEP conversations, the hours spent together 1:1, the texting. Just HER!! She’s so amazing.
Everyone thought we’d end up together.
We are now like total strangers. We say hello and goodbye etc.
We don’t text anymore. ☹️
She’s said she’s working on it with her boyfriend...
Whilst I’m left feeling like I’ve lost someone incredibly important to my happiness in life in recent months. At first she was nice then I grew feelings.
The BIG problem is I work with her as a teaching member of staff at school and we can’t help but see eachother. The school is where this relationship seemed to build. We never arranged to meet socially.
I’m trying to AVOID the stuff we did before but it HURTS...
What do I do?
Anything would be much, much appreciated.
I’m 24 she’s 22.
What an amazing and grown up response. Yes I do fully believe I have to focus on myself. But for me it’s love I think and getting over that with someone who I have to work with his very, very difficult.
What’s very difficult is that we worked together for 3 years and for 3 years we didn’t speak.
But in the last 6 months we’ve become VERY close. This though coincides with the difficult time she’s been having with her boyfriend.
Did she use me? Did she have genuine feelings and become confused?
It’s the not knowing that is killing me. Why did she all of a sudden spring into my life. 🤷*♂️😞
Thanks again for your awesome response.
What’s very difficult is that we worked together for 3 years and for 3 years we didn’t speak.
But in the last 6 months we’ve become VERY close. This though coincides with the difficult time she’s been having with her boyfriend.
Did she use me? Did she have genuine feelings and become confused?
It’s the not knowing that is killing me. Why did she all of a sudden spring into my life. 🤷*♂️😞
Thanks again for your awesome response.
Original post by .Sophie-Mae.
You need to look at what is best for YOU first. Do you want to be friends or do you not think you can be friends without getting hurt due to her not returning your feelings and wanting to make things right with her boyfriend?
If you want to be friends with her, tell her. She can't read your mind, you just need to say exactly how you feel: that you've drifted apart maybe and you wish to stay friends as you don't want to lose the bond you had with her.
If you don't think you can be friends with her without being hurt, you need to try and take some space. Yes, it will probably be difficult. Yes, you will miss her. But it will allow you to think things over and maybe even if you think it is best, begin to move on.
Nobody can tell you what to do though, or how to do it. You know your own mind. All you need to do is forget everyone else and focus on what is best for YOU.
I'm sorry you're in this situation, it's horrible having feelings for someone and not having them returned! But there will be someone one day that will return your feelings! I had this dilemma once with a friend of mine. She was my best friend and she moved schools (yes, I'm only 15) and I used to see her at least once or twice every week in the beginning, but then she got a boyfriend and I begun to see less and less of her. I knew before that, that I liked her, but this made it worse as I hated not seeing her as much anymore. She then begun to have relationship issues and I tried to be there for her, but it was very hard as I knew I had feelings for her and I didn't like her boyfriend and felt like she should leave him as he was treating her poorly, making her feel bad all the time and even controlling what she was posting on social media at one point! When I took a step back, however, their relationship ended as my friend decided it would be better if they parted and now its been a couple of weeks. I still haven't seen her though as she and I both have our mock exams this week and next week. The space has made me realise, though, that even if she doesn't like me back, I still want to be her friend as her friendship is something which I cherish. It may be different for you though. You just need to do what is best for you And just remember, we can't help what we feel!
Hope this helped
If you want to be friends with her, tell her. She can't read your mind, you just need to say exactly how you feel: that you've drifted apart maybe and you wish to stay friends as you don't want to lose the bond you had with her.
If you don't think you can be friends with her without being hurt, you need to try and take some space. Yes, it will probably be difficult. Yes, you will miss her. But it will allow you to think things over and maybe even if you think it is best, begin to move on.
Nobody can tell you what to do though, or how to do it. You know your own mind. All you need to do is forget everyone else and focus on what is best for YOU.
I'm sorry you're in this situation, it's horrible having feelings for someone and not having them returned! But there will be someone one day that will return your feelings! I had this dilemma once with a friend of mine. She was my best friend and she moved schools (yes, I'm only 15) and I used to see her at least once or twice every week in the beginning, but then she got a boyfriend and I begun to see less and less of her. I knew before that, that I liked her, but this made it worse as I hated not seeing her as much anymore. She then begun to have relationship issues and I tried to be there for her, but it was very hard as I knew I had feelings for her and I didn't like her boyfriend and felt like she should leave him as he was treating her poorly, making her feel bad all the time and even controlling what she was posting on social media at one point! When I took a step back, however, their relationship ended as my friend decided it would be better if they parted and now its been a couple of weeks. I still haven't seen her though as she and I both have our mock exams this week and next week. The space has made me realise, though, that even if she doesn't like me back, I still want to be her friend as her friendship is something which I cherish. It may be different for you though. You just need to do what is best for you
And just remember, we can't help what we feel! Hope this helped
Maybe you need to talk to her, not necessarily about your feelings for her but ask her to clearly say what her feelings are towards you?
It was my pleasure, I know I'm only young but I like to consider myself quite mature and past events in my life have lead me to become a bit more wise on emotional issues than others my age, at least that's what I like to think
Sorry this was a bit of a late response, I have mock exams all this week and even though they are only mocks I've been working really hard so I can get on the higher papers for the real thing. If I were you, I would try to talk to her about how she feels towards you as it might help and then you can both make a decision because maybe she does like you and was confused, in which case you may want to do something with that and build some form of relationship off of it (even if you decide only to be friends) but then if she feels nothing, you may decide it is better to try and move on. Although you may be hesitant about talking to her about this because of the difficult time she is having with her boyfriend, just remember that firstly all you are asking is for her to state her feelings towards you and secondly, you deserve to know because it isn't fair for her to be unclear and confuse you, even if it is unintentional. You may find that getting these answers from her could help you lots and you wouldn't even need to say anything about your feelings particularly, all you need to say is that you're confused as to how she feels about you and would like to know where she stands. Until then, personally, I would try to stay positive and don't start thinking about how you will move on, should you decide that is what you would like to do. Just go one battle at a time or you might stress yourself. I hope you manage to sort things out between you! If ever you need to talk about anything, you can always message me (I'm assuming you can do that on here?), even though I'm a good few years younger, sometimes its good just to have someone to vent to
It was my pleasure, I know I'm only young but I like to consider myself quite mature and past events in my life have lead me to become a bit more wise on emotional issues than others my age, at least that's what I like to think
Sorry this was a bit of a late response, I have mock exams all this week and even though they are only mocks I've been working really hard so I can get on the higher papers for the real thing. If I were you, I would try to talk to her about how she feels towards you as it might help and then you can both make a decision because maybe she does like you and was confused, in which case you may want to do something with that and build some form of relationship off of it (even if you decide only to be friends) but then if she feels nothing, you may decide it is better to try and move on. Although you may be hesitant about talking to her about this because of the difficult time she is having with her boyfriend, just remember that firstly all you are asking is for her to state her feelings towards you and secondly, you deserve to know because it isn't fair for her to be unclear and confuse you, even if it is unintentional. You may find that getting these answers from her could help you lots and you wouldn't even need to say anything about your feelings particularly, all you need to say is that you're confused as to how she feels about you and would like to know where she stands. Until then, personally, I would try to stay positive and don't start thinking about how you will move on, should you decide that is what you would like to do. Just go one battle at a time or you might stress yourself.
I hope you manage to sort things out between you! If ever you need to talk about anything, you can always message me (I'm assuming you can do that on here?), even though I'm a good few years younger, sometimes its good just to have someone to vent to Original post by Arron2134
What an amazing and grown up response. Yes I do fully believe I have to focus on myself. But for me it’s love I think and getting over that with someone who I have to work with his very, very difficult.
What’s very difficult is that we worked together for 3 years and for 3 years we didn’t speak.
But in the last 6 months we’ve become VERY close. This though coincides with the difficult time she’s been having with her boyfriend.
Did she use me? Did she have genuine feelings and become confused?
It’s the not knowing that is killing me. Why did she all of a sudden spring into my life. 🤷*♂️😞
Thanks again for your awesome response.
What’s very difficult is that we worked together for 3 years and for 3 years we didn’t speak.
But in the last 6 months we’ve become VERY close. This though coincides with the difficult time she’s been having with her boyfriend.
Did she use me? Did she have genuine feelings and become confused?
It’s the not knowing that is killing me. Why did she all of a sudden spring into my life. 🤷*♂️😞
Thanks again for your awesome response.
to be completely honest: if she seems to be purposely ignoring you both irl and through text, then it's pretty evident that she probably feels uncomfortable being with you. this isnt necessarily because of anything you did, but it might just be that she doesnt feel the same way that you feel about her. nonetheless, since you obviously had a great bond with her in the past, im sure she still wants to be friends and keep the relationship with you friendly and professional. you need to move on and start looking for new people to be in a stable relationship with. remember: things change and people grow. you can get over this. good luck
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