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Confused

So I've identified straight all of my life, and questions about my sexuality have not been vibrant until now. I have always admired the same sex for specific features that I wished I could have to be more attractive to women. With that being said, I had recently discovered that I was sexually assaulted when I was younger, and some of the memories have created confusion about my sexuality because the predator was a male. Some of the memories have found me pondering on same-sex fantasies to discover who I am sexually, but it mostly brings me disgust and anxiety. Fast forward to most recently, I try to look at the same sex to see if I'm attracted or merely just observing, but what I conclude is that since I have such fantasies, it must mean I'm gay or bisexual though those labels don't bring me any enjoyment or closure but much more anxiety.
If anyone could help me talk through this.
Sexuality is SUCH a spectrum, I find it helpful to try and not define anything under specific "categories". I am a big believer in being open to new experiences, you can observe as much as you like and you will come to conclusions off those observations but you'll get a definite idea on how you feel about men/women if you approach them and place yourself in situations with them. I'm not suggesting to go out and suddenly have a one night stand with every Tom and Sally, but even if you just casually dip your toes through a dating app perhaps you will get some more "real world" experience on how you feel about who/what.

Most importantly: the best thing to do is to not fight yourself. It can be very anxiety inducing trying to navigate ones sexuality, but allow yourself to feel however you feel and be as free/welcoming with your thoughts and emotions. At the end of the day there is no pressure to get answers here, sexuality is a journey of self discovery which can go at whatever pace you feel comfortable with :smile:
Also remember sexual and romantic attraction are different things. You don’t have to give yourself a label either :smile:

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