Having a joint/shared birthday with sibling (turning 21)

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Poll: Is it weird/unfair to share your 21st birthday with a younger sibling?
Yes, 21st bdays shouldn't be joint with another sibling's bday (3)
75%
Yes, but I wouldn't be against the idea when I turn 21/if I had to do the same (0)
0%
No, it's normal (0)
0%
No, but birthdays don't really matter. It's just one day. (1)
25%
szadw
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#1
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So my parents want to combine my 21st bday with my sister's 17th bday, our bdays are 2 weeks apart and we're both against the idea.

My reasons for this are because:

  • I'm turning 21 - in my opinion, joint birthdays are for when you're a child (like when you're turning 10 or 11) and it would be really weird to be sharing your 21st birthday with your sister/brother who's younger than you
  • Our birthdays are 2 weeks apart - I could maybe understand if our birthdays were 1-5 days apart but there's a huge gap between them so it wouldn't make sense
  • We both have different ideas on what we want to do for our birthdays - the venue, what we're doing, our friends don't know eachother so it would be awkward etc

Please don't think I'm being ungrateful because I am very grateful for my parents and my family, I just think it's very strange to expect a 21 year old to share their bday with their younger sibling.

Thank you for reading, please can you give your views on this and what you would do.

TLDR: I'm turning 21, my sister is turning 17. Our bdays are over 2 weeks apart. I would rather not have a joint bday since my 21st is an important bday for me and my sister isn't appreciative of the idea either, we both have different ideas for our bday so it wouldn't work.
Last edited by szadw; 1 year ago
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szadw
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Anonymous #1
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yh thats a bit mad still
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szadw
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(Original post by Anonymous)
yh thats a bit mad still
I thought the same, I can see why it would be suggested since our bdays are close-ish I guess. But I can see myself not enjoying it tbh because it's just really weird.
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szadw
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exactly
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Anonymous #2
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You’re an adult celebrate with your friends. Can I ask why is it that your parents are arranging the party not you? 21st should be crazy af with adventures and stuff. Just saying. No disrespect it seems like you have great parents!!
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szadw
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(Original post by Anonymous)
You’re an adult celebrate with your friends. Can I ask why is it that your parents are arranging the party not you? 21st should be crazy af with adventures and stuff. Just saying. No disrespect it seems like you have great parents!!
They're not arranging it, I'm arranging my bday but we're all organizing it together (if that makes sense? so like the transport, cost, parking etc).
Last edited by szadw; 1 year ago
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999tigger
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I'm from the just one day school of thought.
21 I suppose is more significant, but cant remember why- will look up.


Just tell your parents thanks for the party but as you will be inviting different friends and have different ideas, then youd like your own on half the budget.
Alternatively just use your own money and have one with your friends.
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szadw
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(Original post by 999tigger)
I'm from the just one day school of thought.
21 I suppose is more significant, but cant remember why- will look up.


Just tell your parents thanks for the party but as you will be inviting different friends and have different ideas, then youd like your own on half the budget.
Alternatively just use your own money and have one with your friends.
I think it's more of an American way of thinking, since that's the legal age you can drink alcohol. Then it came over to the UK and we started putting more importance on turning 21.

I will try that, thank you for for the advice.
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999tigger
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(Original post by szadw)
I think it's more of an American way of thinking, since that's the legal age you can drink alcohol. Then it came over to the UK and we started putting more importance on turning 21.

I will try that, thank you for for the advice.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/talking_point/3008006.stm

Just have your own, be polite and say thanks but no thanks. Dont throw a strop as you are meant to be an adult and go out with your close friends. If they want to pay for some of that its up to them, but dont expect. They cant really argue then and neither can you.
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szadw
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(Original post by 999tigger)
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/talking_point/3008006.stm

Just have your own, be polite and say thanks but no thanks. Dont throw a strop as you are meant to be an adult and go out with your close friends. If they want to pay for some of that its up to them, but dont expect. They cant really argue then and neither can you.
Thanks for the article. Yes, I'll say thank you for suggesting the idea but I have a different idea which I'm going to try out for my bday. I won't throw a strop lol. I'm paying for it all myself.
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999tigger
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(Original post by szadw)
Thanks for the article. Yes, I'll say thank you for suggesting the idea but I have a different idea which I'm going to try out for my bday. I won't throw a strop lol. I'm paying for it all myself.
Then they cant complain and you can go drinking, clubbing, activities or sleepover with your m8s and you avoid the spoilt daughter plus tedious rows with your sibling. Better than being forced to attend a night you dont want to be at. If you have any money then you could plan a day out go to Blackpool or Brighton or youth hostelling or something, just somewhere nice where you can have a laugh. That would make more sense to me.

As for the parents, then if I was in your situation would I be enraged? Not really. I just dont think its worth the effort and in future all you will remember is you had arguments over your 21st.
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szadw
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(Original post by 999tigger)
Then they cant complain and you can go drinking, clubbing, activities or sleepover with your m8s and you avoid the spoilt daughter plus tedious rows with your sibling. Better than being forced to attend a night you dont want to be at. If you have any money then you could plan a day out go to Blackpool or Brighton or youth hostelling or something, just somewhere nice where you can have a laugh. That would make more sense to me.

As for the parents, then if I was in your situation would I be enraged? Not really. I just dont think its worth the effort and in future all you will remember is you had arguments over your 21st.
Ok
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szadw
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just wondering, which birthday do people find more important/remember more, their 18th or 21st?
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