Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 year ago
#1
Its kinda hard to start this but..

Basically, I'm a 17 yo girl living in London and my parents are immigrants to the UK (we moved when I was about 4). I've had quite a privileged background and am grateful for it but my parents are always like we do this all for you guys (me and my younger sister) and if we didn't care about you then we would have left for India (my ethnic background) long ago etc. Obviously I'm going to start uni next year and I've always wanted to do medicine, so living in London is a blessing because we have loads of medical schools here, but the idea of applying to Oxford has always appealed to me.

I work hard at school so I can live up to my parents expectations, but they are so controlling that it's driving me mad. I go to an all girls secondary school just so I wouldn't be able to talk to boys, and my sister and I are only allowed to watch cartoons with no / *mild romance, not use the wifi, not use my phone after school unless its for messaging friends about work, only use the computer for educational purposes etc. Like I get where they're coming from with the whole "new culture" that they don't want us to be exposed to, but it crosses the line when we're all outside and there are couples (especially in parks) who do PDA.

Lately, I've found a way to get whatsapp, snapchat and instagram by having another google account on my phone and basically deleting the accounts and apps when I get home. I use incognito on browsers (hehe), and now my parents aren't happy with me applying to Oxford, because they don't want me to move out, so it's most likely either travelling from London to Oxford by bus every day or all of us moving / my dad moving with me. They act like I'm going to screw every man I talk to ffs!!!

My friends don't know about this, and last summer I went on NCS( co residential trip with random teens from your area) with a couple of mates, but only because my best mate's mum was able to persuade mine that we would look after each other. I've attended a lot of help sessions for medical applications hosted by unis as well as independent companies, and my parents don't know that I have some boys on snap, insta and whatsapp BC I GOT ON WITH THEM!! If they ever see PDA then they go on this lecture about "how this culture isn't ours" etc and both me and my sister agree that this is going to cause problems down the road.

I can't say a word against this to them because **** will go down if I do, and I can't "run away"/move out because they don't want me to (original quote) "punish them for staying here". Please help xx
Last edited by DrawTheLine; 1 year ago
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DrawTheLine
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#2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Its kinda hard to start this but..

Basically, I'm a 17 yo girl living in London and my parents are immigrants to the UK (we moved when I was about 4). I've had quite a privileged background and am grateful for it but my parents are always like we do this all for you guys (me and my younger sister) and if we didn't care about you then we would have left for India (my ethnic background) long ago etc. Obviously I'm going to start uni next year and I've always wanted to do medicine, so living in London is a blessing because we have loads of medical schools here, but the idea of applying to Oxford has always appealed to me.

I work hard at school so I can live up to my parents expectations, but they are so controlling that it's driving me mad. I go to an all girls secondary school just so I wouldn't be able to talk to boys, and my sister and I are only allowed to watch cartoons with no / *mild romance, not use the wifi, not use my phone after school unless its for messaging friends about work, only use the computer for educational purposes etc. Like I get where they're coming from with the whole "new culture" that they don't want us to be exposed to, but it crosses the line when we're all outside and there are couples (especially in parks) who do PDA.

Lately, I've found a way to get whatsapp, snapchat and instagram by having another google account on my phone and basically deleting the accounts and apps when I get home. I use incognito on browsers (hehe), and now my parents aren't happy with me applying to Oxford, because they don't want me to move out, so it's most likely either travelling from London to Oxford by bus every day or all of us moving / my dad moving with me. They act like I'm going to screw every man I talk to ffs!!!

My friends don't know about this, and last summer I went on NCS( co residential trip with random teens from your area) with a couple of mates, but only because my best mate's mum was able to persuade mine that we would look after each other. I've attended a lot of help sessions for medical applications hosted by unis as well as independent companies, and my parents don't know that I have some boys on snap, insta and whatsapp BC I GOT ON WITH THEM!! If they ever see PDA then they go on this lecture about "how this culture isn't ours" etc and both me and my sister agree that this is going to cause problems down the road.

I can't say a word against this to them because **** will go down if I do, and I can't "run away"/move out because they don't want me to (original quote) "punish them for staying here". Please help xx
Moved to friends, family and work and added paragraphs to make your post easier on the eyes

Firstly, I hope this doesn't come across as rude but your parents cannot, cannot expect to move to a totally different country and keep you sheltered from the culture. If they don't like the culture of England then this isn't the country for them. They should be able to adapt and accept the ways of life here and that it is very different from India. You'll be 18 when you go to uni, so you can tell them that it's your life and decision. If you can, get a job to earn money, save up as much as you can so you can support yourself at university. I hope it works out for you. I have never been able to understand parents that say they want the best for their kids, but then keep them sheltered from the real world and try to stop them becoming their own person.
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Saeven
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I don't know if you mind hurting your parents but once you turn 18, they really can't do anything to stop you; it's not like youre doing anything mad youre going to frickin medical school!

Props to you for living like that for so long, I would definitely had snapped
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