My boyfriend watches porn when I’m at home...

Watch
Lxllipop
Badges: 10
Rep:
?
#1
Report Thread starter 1 year ago
#1
Hi all, this may cause some uproar against me but I guess I can’t help how I feel, right?
Basically, I said to my boyfriend a while back that him watching porn makes me feel a bit uncomfortable because obviously, I won’t be able to perform like they do in the bedroom. Also, it upsets me to think about him jerking off whilst looking at other women, naturally, it makes me feel self conscious and like I’m not enough for him in the bedroom.
A couple of days ago, I got it out of him that he’s still been watching it, of course I can’t stop him, he’s his own person, but it’s made me really upset and I tried to brush it off but I can’t. I don’t want him to feel like he can’t do certain things because of me but it still is getting me down, I just don’t want to bring it back up because he may feel bad.
It’s not the fact that he wants to jerk off, it’s more of the fact he’s doing it over them rather than me. Am I not good enough? We’ve been together for a year now and I’m really wondering whether he’s going to start wanting more...
Help? Thank you.
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#2
Report 1 year ago
#2
Unfortunately porn addiction is a real thing, and it can ruin relationships. You have every right to feel the way that you are feeling. Let him know how you feel
0
reply
Lxllipop
Badges: 10
Rep:
?
#3
Report Thread starter 1 year ago
#3
I’ve seen a lot of blaming posts and I don’t want to seem like a drama queen or that I’m over reacting, I just genuinely can’t help the way I feel, you know?
(Original post by Anonymous)
Unfortunately porn addiction is a real thing, and it can ruin relationships. You have every right to feel the way that you are feeling. Let him know how you feel
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#4
Report 1 year ago
#4
(Original post by Lxllipop)
I’ve seen a lot of blaming posts and I don’t want to seem like a drama queen or that I’m over reacting, I just genuinely can’t help the way I feel, you know?
Put yourself first honestly. Its ridiculous in my opinion, and its your boyfriends responsibility to do it in moderation if he even has to do it at all. You aren't overreacting.
0
reply
username2861570
Badges: 18
Rep:
?
#5
Report 1 year ago
#5
Porn kills love and relationships. What was his response to you telling him it makes you feel uncomfortable?
0
reply
Lxllipop
Badges: 10
Rep:
?
#6
Report Thread starter 1 year ago
#6
Thank you
(Original post by Anonymous)
Put yourself first honestly. Its ridiculous in my opinion, and its your boyfriends responsibility to do it in moderation if he even has to do it at all. You aren't overreacting.
0
reply
Analyst89
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#7
Report 1 year ago
#7
It is normal for guys to do this however in moderation.

You need to communicate with him about how you feel.
0
reply
Anonymous #2
#8
Report 1 year ago
#8
I agree, he might have an addiction that he can't see - don't like force this info on him tho, he might be in denial - but this could really affect his health and perception of sex.

I'm not gonna say that you should or shouldn't feel annoyed as an assumption - you might find some people on here hold very traditional views on monogamy in relationships - because some couples watch porn together, however if your upset your upset and if he cares about you he should respect that and make some compromises in his life. If he is in denial he could jump on the defensive, so just emphisais how upset it makes you feel without being forceful.
(Original post by Anonymous)
Unfortunately porn addiction is a real thing, and it can ruin relationships. You have every right to feel the way that you are feeling. Let him know how you feel
1
reply
Lxllipop
Badges: 10
Rep:
?
#9
Report Thread starter 1 year ago
#9
He said he didn’t think I’d be so upset and he won’t do it again and he means it this time because he hates seeing me upset so it wouldn’t be the same. He says it’s not that important to him, ‘it’s just there’ but I don’t understand. Because I am just here??
(Original post by JoshDarnIt)
Porn kills love and relationships. What was his response to you telling him it makes you feel uncomfortable?
1
reply
username4379398
Badges: 11
Rep:
?
#10
Report 1 year ago
#10
(Original post by Lxllipop)
Hi all, this may cause some uproar against me but I guess I can’t help how I feel, right?
Basically, I said to my boyfriend a while back that him watching porn makes me feel a bit uncomfortable because obviously, I won’t be able to perform like they do in the bedroom. Also, it upsets me to think about him jerking off whilst looking at other women, naturally, it makes me feel self conscious and like I’m not enough for him in the bedroom.
A couple of days ago, I got it out of him that he’s still been watching it, of course I can’t stop him, he’s his own person, but it’s made me really upset and I tried to brush it off but I can’t. I don’t want him to feel like he can’t do certain things because of me but it still is getting me down, I just don’t want to bring it back up because he may feel bad.
It’s not the fact that he wants to jerk off, it’s more of the fact he’s doing it over them rather than me. Am I not good enough? We’ve been together for a year now and I’m really wondering whether he’s going to start wanting more...
Help? Thank you.
First of all get him to watch some documentaries of how watching porn is bad for him. Tbh its bad for all humans. Its scientifically proven. Then tell him how it makes u feel. Sit down with him. Be like promise me you won’t get mad. Then just open up. If hes got a heart for u. Trusss he will try fix it.
0
reply
Lxllipop
Badges: 10
Rep:
?
#11
Report Thread starter 1 year ago
#11
Thank you for your advice
(Original post by Sandhu11)
First of all get him to watch some documentaries of how watching porn is bad for him. Tbh its bad for all humans. Its scientifically proven. Then tell him how it makes u feel. Sit down with him. Be like promise me you won’t get mad. Then just open up. If hes got a heart for u. Trusss he will try fix it.
0
reply
username2861570
Badges: 18
Rep:
?
#12
Report 1 year ago
#12
(Original post by Lxllipop)
He said he didn’t think I’d be so upset and he won’t do it again and he means it this time because he hates seeing me upset so it wouldn’t be the same. He says it’s not that important to him, ‘it’s just there’ but I don’t understand. Because I am just here??
So has he done it again since?
0
reply
xoxAngel_Kxox
Badges: 21
Rep:
?
#13
Report 1 year ago
#13
It all depends how much he does it, and whether it affects your sex life. If he doesn't want sex with you at night because he's masturbated to porn too much in the day then this is a problem, and if he's disappearing off when he should be spending time with you that's also a concern. But honestly, men watch porn. Heck, a lot of women do too. I understand why you might be upset, I was when I was younger, but now I've changed how I think about it completely.

If it's got to addiction levels, something needs to be done, but watching porn in and of itself isn't anything to be concerned about, and it shouldn't affect your relationship.

My boyfriend and I watch it together sometimes!
2
reply
Lxllipop
Badges: 10
Rep:
?
#14
Report Thread starter 1 year ago
#14
Not that I know of, I’m not entirely sure though
(Original post by JoshDarnIt)
So has he done it again since?
0
reply
Anonymous #3
#15
Report 1 year ago
#15
Everyone has different boundaries. You should talk to him about this as it’s not nice to feel insecure in a relationship :console:

Guys will watch it from time to time, but you have to remember it’s better it’s just women on a screen rather than him cheating etc.

Have you two tried watching it together? It might be fun ...

Deffo talk to him.
You’re not being a drama queen, people today are extremely loose with explicit content and for everyone it is different so yeah

Gooodluckkk xx
0
reply
Plantagenet Crown
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#16
Report 1 year ago
#16
Porn doesn't inherently kill love and relationships, that's just nonsense. Done in moderation it's fine, and many couples take great pleasure in watching porn together, which can even spice up their sex life. It sounds like he may have an addiction, which is unhealthy, as all addictions are. Why don't you offer to watch porn with him and do sexual things while watching porn together?
2
reply
Little Popcorns
Badges: 21
Rep:
?
#17
Report 1 year ago
#17
Why don’t you watch it together lol
1
reply
Anonymous #4
#18
Report 1 year ago
#18
Dump that boy.
0
reply
Apachecow
Badges: 19
Rep:
?
#19
Report 1 year ago
#19
Simple question is why does he watch it? Is the sex in your relationship not fulfilling for him? If you keep turning him down then it is perfectly natural for him to want another outlet. He can't be mad at you if he turns you down and you go and relive yourself.

Don't discount watching it together - if you are careful what you pick then you can absolutely learn new tricks that will make things more fun in the bedroom. Porn has revolutionised some people's sex life - you just have to chose what you watch and enact. You can always say no.

Rather than get mad (and likely have less sex) flip this into a positive. If you jump on him twice a day I bet his porn watching goes down substantially!
0
reply
carltontranter
Badges: 2
Rep:
?
#20
Report 1 year ago
#20
be thankful he's not banging another b*tch
1
reply
X

Quick Reply

Attached files
Write a reply...
Reply
new posts
Back
to top
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

What do you want most from university virtual open days and online events?

I want to be able to watch in my own time rather than turn up live (179)
28.59%
I want to hear more about the specifics of the course (104)
16.61%
I want to be able to dip in and dip out of lots of different sessions (58)
9.27%
I want to meet current students (52)
8.31%
I want to meet academics and the people that will be teaching me (50)
7.99%
I want to have a taster lecture or workshop to see what the teaching is like (126)
20.13%
My parents/guardians are more interested than me to be honest (37)
5.91%
Other things – I'll tell you in the thread (20)
3.19%

Watched Threads

View All