(For law) Would you take an informal internship offered by a tinder match?
Basically:
-I hardly use tinder but decided to log on a few weeks back and matched with a solicitor.
-We’ve just been talking about law (I’m a first year law student), career paths etc…and ended up adding each other on fb. Ik, I’m basically using Tinder as LinkedIn.
-Today he suddenly asked me out to dinner to discuss some informal internship opportunities at his firm. I’ve also done some informal work experiences at law firms through contacts so I know they are quite common.
-He knows I’m not looking for a relationship and our convos have been purely platonic. He’s also been nothing but respectful thus far.
I know it seems a little weird, but he seems very genuine and any legal work experience (formal or informal) would be great. I’ve also stalked the hell out of his linkedin, firm website, his social media and he seems legit haha.
So…Would you take an informal internship offered by a tinder match? I just don't know how pure his intentions are lol. Should I go to dinner just to see how it goes?
Thanks in advance!
-I hardly use tinder but decided to log on a few weeks back and matched with a solicitor.
-We’ve just been talking about law (I’m a first year law student), career paths etc…and ended up adding each other on fb. Ik, I’m basically using Tinder as LinkedIn.
-Today he suddenly asked me out to dinner to discuss some informal internship opportunities at his firm. I’ve also done some informal work experiences at law firms through contacts so I know they are quite common.
-He knows I’m not looking for a relationship and our convos have been purely platonic. He’s also been nothing but respectful thus far.
I know it seems a little weird, but he seems very genuine and any legal work experience (formal or informal) would be great. I’ve also stalked the hell out of his linkedin, firm website, his social media and he seems legit haha.
So…Would you take an informal internship offered by a tinder match? I just don't know how pure his intentions are lol. Should I go to dinner just to see how it goes?
Thanks in advance!
i wouldn't because you never know how pure they're intentions are.
This feels like a red flag to me and personally I would avoid this situation.
How old is he OP...?
You can't know what his intentions are and recruiting interns via Tinder feels very unprofessional.
How old is he OP...?
You can't know what his intentions are and recruiting interns via Tinder feels very unprofessional.
You aren’t stupid, so you shouldn’t need help with this one. You’re also old enough to know better.
Is the guy a lot older, with kids or married?
If so he could be trying to combine business with pleasure.
Pleasure as in no strings fun- in the office or off the premises after work.
But if you want the internship and would not be adverse to some no strings action, by all means give it a go.
That said a lot of opportunities in the legal sector do manifest themselves based on informal networking (pub, social media, private members clubs).
Some women in the legal profession like the barrister Charlotte Proudman have complained bitterly about being "sexually objectified in the legal profession", messaged by male lawyers making suggestive comments about her appearance or asking her if she's willing to hookup.
But these types of approaches can open doorways.
I don't have a law degree but I got my first paid job in a legal firm as a teenager under similar circumstances.
I believe if I had shunned that opportunity I would never have been financially independent or been in the position to accumulate at least half my employment history.
If so he could be trying to combine business with pleasure.
Pleasure as in no strings fun- in the office or off the premises after work.
But if you want the internship and would not be adverse to some no strings action, by all means give it a go.
That said a lot of opportunities in the legal sector do manifest themselves based on informal networking (pub, social media, private members clubs).
Some women in the legal profession like the barrister Charlotte Proudman have complained bitterly about being "sexually objectified in the legal profession", messaged by male lawyers making suggestive comments about her appearance or asking her if she's willing to hookup.
But these types of approaches can open doorways.
I don't have a law degree but I got my first paid job in a legal firm as a teenager under similar circumstances.
I believe if I had shunned that opportunity I would never have been financially independent or been in the position to accumulate at least half my employment history.
You got something to gain and not much to lose so you may as well try.
Original post by Puddles the Monkey
This feels like a red flag to me and personally I would avoid this situation.
How old is he OP...?
You can't know what his intentions are and recruiting interns via Tinder feels very unprofessional.
How old is he OP...?
You can't know what his intentions are and recruiting interns via Tinder feels very unprofessional.
He's in his early 40s.
I did find it very unprofessional at first, but we are mostly talking on fb or the occasional email now (for when I need to send over CV). I do see your point though.
Original post by londonmyst
Is the guy a lot older, with kids or married?
If so he could be trying to combine business with pleasure.
Pleasure as in no strings fun- in the office or off the premises after work.
But if you want the internship and would not be adverse to some no strings action, by all means give it a go.
That said a lot of opportunities in the legal sector do manifest themselves based on informal networking (pub, social media, private members clubs).
Some women in the legal profession like the barrister Charlotte Proudman have complained bitterly about being "sexually objectified in the legal profession", messaged by male lawyers making suggestive comments about her appearance or asking her if she's willing to hookup.
But these types of approaches can open doorways.
I don't have a law degree but I got my first paid job in a legal firm as a teenager under similar circumstances.
I believe if I had shunned that opportunity I would never have been financially independent or been in the position to accumulate at least half my employment history.
If so he could be trying to combine business with pleasure.
Pleasure as in no strings fun- in the office or off the premises after work.
But if you want the internship and would not be adverse to some no strings action, by all means give it a go.
That said a lot of opportunities in the legal sector do manifest themselves based on informal networking (pub, social media, private members clubs).
Some women in the legal profession like the barrister Charlotte Proudman have complained bitterly about being "sexually objectified in the legal profession", messaged by male lawyers making suggestive comments about her appearance or asking her if she's willing to hookup.
But these types of approaches can open doorways.
I don't have a law degree but I got my first paid job in a legal firm as a teenager under similar circumstances.
I believe if I had shunned that opportunity I would never have been financially independent or been in the position to accumulate at least half my employment history.
Pretty sure he's not married (at least from what he's told me and his social media).
The reason I didn't immediately dismiss it is because I know that informal legal internships through contacts are fairly common, especially at highstreet/mid-tier firms. I've also secured work experiences as a teenager through social events and contacts, and it all worked out fine. However, I do know that I am very much opposed to some 'no strings fun'. Honestly, I don't want any form of 'fun'.
I guess I just want to know what I'm getting myself into and what his intentions are, but after reading your post I do feel like I might be too naive.
It seems like he's trying to groom you to be honest.
If he wants to offer you work experience then get him to meet you in HIS OFFICE during business hours. Sod going out for dinner.
Or maybe send him a reply and ask the question as to whether he contacts members of the other sex through tinder to arrange "informal work experience", and if he doesn't ask him why not..... Sex discrimination works both ways you know
. You could maybe query this with his employer and ask the question as to whether they believe in equal opportunities for all, or if they prefer to solicit certain people from tinder 
If he wants to offer you work experience then get him to meet you in HIS OFFICE during business hours. Sod going out for dinner.
Or maybe send him a reply and ask the question as to whether he contacts members of the other sex through tinder to arrange "informal work experience", and if he doesn't ask him why not..... Sex discrimination works both ways you know
. You could maybe query this with his employer and ask the question as to whether they believe in equal opportunities for all, or if they prefer to solicit certain people from tinder Original post by Thermic_Marlin
It seems like he's trying to groom you to be honest.
If he wants to offer you work experience then get him to meet you in HIS OFFICE during business hours. Sod going out for dinner.
Or maybe send him a reply and ask the question as to whether he contacts members of the other sex through tinder to arrange "informal work experience", and if he doesn't ask him why not..... Sex discrimination works both ways you know. You could maybe query this with his employer and ask the question as to whether they believe in equal opportunities for all, or if they prefer to solicit certain people from tinder
If he wants to offer you work experience then get him to meet you in HIS OFFICE during business hours. Sod going out for dinner.
Or maybe send him a reply and ask the question as to whether he contacts members of the other sex through tinder to arrange "informal work experience", and if he doesn't ask him why not..... Sex discrimination works both ways you know
. You could maybe query this with his employer and ask the question as to whether they believe in equal opportunities for all, or if they prefer to solicit certain people from tinder Yeah ngl the dinner part was a little strange. I'm not sure about contacting his employer tho because it wasn't advertised and he's been nothing but professional so far. (The only shady part is the platform where we first met).
I do think I'll turn it down. It's just not worth it and my mum might kill me if she finds out, even if his intentions are pure.
Cheers everyone for the help.
It depends.
Tbf you arent the most experienced.
You should think about whether he has the power to do what he says he is offering.
If its a big firm then many partners are restricted by what they can do and they may have to clear it with HR or other partners. If they were more senior equity partners they could. Basically he may be dangling something he cant deliver.
If he has no right to do so then it may seem odd letting you near client files.
On the other hand it might look less suspicious if it was a paid paralegal.
You are going to figure out these things, but I would tend to say no.
Tbf you arent the most experienced.
You should think about whether he has the power to do what he says he is offering.
If its a big firm then many partners are restricted by what they can do and they may have to clear it with HR or other partners. If they were more senior equity partners they could. Basically he may be dangling something he cant deliver.
If he has no right to do so then it may seem odd letting you near client files.
On the other hand it might look less suspicious if it was a paid paralegal.
You are going to figure out these things, but I would tend to say no.
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