how do i got out of my comfort zone?

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Jmonay
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#1
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#1
i know we all have some fears and it normal. I've always been fearful of most things as a kid and now that I'm in my early 20s. i feel like I'm stuck in a box .everything just became so routined and its making me more depressed. I'm afraid of dogs and going on elevators by myself. I'm afraid of heights . some fears i conquered which is speaking in front of a audience or even ordering a meal at a fast food place. even when i wanted to practice driving with my friends i was in the drivers seat and i froze i kept slight pressing the gas. I'm still fearful to go to back to working again because of situations that happened it just made me afraid. some people really dont understand that these are issues for me . they think I'm being lazy or just gotten comfortable . i gotten comfortable being stuck and letting everyone move on up in their life and I'm just here stuck i really do get jealous most times . i alway say to myself why am i so fearful how did this begin . why didn't anyone help me get through this ? i sometimes blame my mom for not helping me through overcoming my fears and she gets mad at me. she tells me idk where you get that from cause she's not as fearful as me. mind you she's doesn't like snakes or anyone driving fast with her and i know for a fact she dont like heights. any way does anyone have tips on overcoming fear and getting out of your comfort zone ?
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Pathway
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#2
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#2
How have you conquered previous fears?
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Jmonay
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#3
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#3
Pathway yea I conquered going on a plane by myself and going on a elevator by myself a few times still scared at times and public speaking I’m still nervous with doing that honestly
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Pathway
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#4
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#4
(Original post by Jmonay)
Pathway yea I conquered going on a plane by myself and going on a elevator by myself a few times still scared at times and public speaking I’m still nervous with doing that honestly
Well use that same logic to other things.

I used to fear dogs as well, so much so I would run into oncoming traffic. One day, a few years ago now, I decided not to do that. Now I'm able to stay in the same room as dogs, providing they're pretty calm, and I'm fine. Do a similar thing yourself. Go against what your anxiety is telling you to do, and manage the feelings that you feel. It'll get easier the more you do it. You've already done it a few times by the sounds of it!
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Jmonay
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#5
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#5
@pathway that happened to me the other day when I was walking to get my eyebrows done I seen a guy with his dog and he had he’s dog walk with out a leash and I hurried and went accross the street while the cars were coming I’m glad I’m ok honestly .. so your saying in ordered to over come my fear I have to face my fears that’s going to take a long time
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Pathway
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#6
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#6
(Original post by Jmonay)
@pathway that happened to me the other day when I was walking to get my eyebrows done I seen a guy with his dog and he had he’s dog walk with out a leash and I hurried and went accross the street while the cars were coming I’m glad I’m ok honestly .. so your saying in ordered to over come my fear I have to face my fears that’s going to take a long time
Yeah, most fears are usually irrational. Obviously, keep your wits about you, but yeah, facing your fears is something you should do. And of course it'll take time, you don't have to do it all in one day. Do work little and often and it'll add up to a big difference over time. Self-improvement doesn't really have an end date, you just keep working at improving different things. So you could start with your fear of dogs or whatever and branch out, could also work on hobbies or whatever else you might like to try.

This is basically what life is, learning, self improvement and creating your own happiness. Easier for some than for others, but I don't think it's impossible for anyone.
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Jmonay
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#7
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#7
Pathway since you put it that way your right about everything you said and it does get discouraging at most times . When I’m the only one out of my friends that’s fearful and some times my cousins and others laugh at my fears . I wouldn’t do that to anyone if their afraid i use to be afraid of the dark and I over came that too ..I appreciate your advice
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Pathway
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#8
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#8
(Original post by Jmonay)
Pathway since you put it that way your right about everything you said and it does get discouraging at most times . When I’m the only one out of my friends that’s fearful and some times my cousins and others laugh at my fears . I wouldn’t do that to anyone if their afraid i use to be afraid of the dark and I over came that too ..I appreciate your advice
Hmm, I mean, they might also have fears, they just may be better at hiding them (pretty much everyone has some sort of fear!). But I'm glad you're willing to try and work on things.

Take care.
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Anonymous #1
#9
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#9
Jump into a situation that would make you the most terrified, that isn’t dangerous.
I guess, you need to figure out what it is about these situations that makes you scared.
I used to get (and still do, sometimes) terrified of social situations, it creeped into different parts of my life and soon I was scared to leave the house, because ‘people might see me’... *eye roll as self* After getting really worked up that I was wasting my life, I finally thought it through. I had been bullied a lot growing up and had some bad interactions in the past, I had associated people with pain. I literally thought everyone wanted to hurt or humiliate me and that I was less than them.
That didn’t work for me. Oh boy, that did not work indeed.
You see, I always pictured my self as a tough cookie, one who just did what she wanted and cared little for the nitpickings of others. So I joined a sword fighting club and an MMA gym, both filled with strangers and did not let myself back out.
And the words I chanted, and still do when that feeling rises?
“What’s the worst that will happen?” “Will this hurt me?” “Can I handle it?”
Basically, it’s a case of telling yourself that unless the situation you are in threatens your life in anyway, it’s not worth worrying about. Don’t stress, find a way to have fun.
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Anonymous #1
#10
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#10
MMA basically was the extreme for me. Talking with strangers but also trusting them and then the physical contact part....
At the time before going into the classes I would have panic attacks and hyper ventilate, sometimes have a wee cry (never were I’d be seen). But I went to every class, and soon what felt like torturous hell became fun.
Being scared isn’t a bad thing, but lying down and letting it own you. That’s a big no no.
The more space you give fear, the more it takes.
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Jmonay
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#11
Report Thread starter 2 years ago
#11
I appreciate your story thanks for the advice
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