My girlfriends has been talking to her ex almost everyday since her bday. Red flag? Watch

Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 7 months ago
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posted here few weeks ago however I got more info.

I have been with my girlfriend for a bit more than a month so far, around 1 and a half. My girlfriend and her ex broke up back in August 2018 and were together for 4 years. The reason of the break up was purely due to distance since he had to move far away, and not due to ill feelings at all.

About 3 weeks ago it was gf's birthday and accoding to a friend of her she was wondering why her ex didn't wish her happy birthday. That day late at night he finally did message her and along the lines he told her how he misses talking to her so much. She told him that she thought he wouldn't message her and stuff like that. Then they kept talking. She has some health issues and she told that to her ex and he was worried, then she was like "That's so cute" etc.

How do I know all these? My girlfriend sent some screenshots of her chat with her ex to that friend of mine, and she just told me to be aware.

I thought they stopped talking but yesterday I checked her messages while she was in the bathroon. Snooped into basically. I found out that since her birthday (3 weeks ago) they have been talking literally everyday (with just a few days break sometimes). She constantly laughs when talking to him, complimented his looks (he showed a pic of his haircut to her and she was like "AWWWW ITS SO NICE" and generally he has said for example stuff like "If anyone does something wrong to you I am flying to the place where you are" etc. He hasn't asked her if she has a boyfriend but she hasn't told him anything aswell.

I am not quite sure if it's time to end it or if it's nothing to worry about. Does it look like she still has feelings for him?
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londonmyst
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Not necessarily.
She may miss the friendship.
I stayed in touch with my first boyfriend, we remain friends and I visit him whenever I'm in Belfast.
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Anonymous #2
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I think only you can answer this question.

However, it does sound a bit dodgy. If she's told you she's not spoken to him, and if she has, the foundation of trust of a 1 month relationship has already been broken. If you feel there is justification to leave, you don't have to explain that to anyone.

As Nicki so eloquently said, "f**k who you want and f**k who you like"
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I think only you can answer this question.

However, it does sound a bit dodgy. If she's told you she's not spoken to him, and if she has, the foundation of trust of a 1 month relationship has already been broken. If you feel there is justification to leave, you don't have to explain that to anyone.

As Nicki so eloquently said, "f**k who you want and f**k who you like"
She hasn't told me anything. I haven't asked either. She probably doesn't know that I know all that stuff.

Can I have more opinions? Should I wait and see if more happens? Should I confront her? Should I walk away? Or should I not worry at all since that could be just a friendly thing?
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leopart223
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I'd definitely be on edge about it if I were you. Less so because she's texting her ex and more because of broken trust. She didn't even tell her ex about her new relationship status, which is unfair to you as her boyfriend and to her ex, who may still feel as though she could be romantically available. Give her a chance to defend herself. Ask her if she has told her ex that she's in a relationship and ask her if she has been talking to him since her birthday. If she lies, then I'd definitely think about reevaluating your relationship. If there was nothing going on, why would she need to hide it? And why is she sending snapshots to her friend about it? Not saying you should jump to any conclusions, but you really need to ask yourself if this is something you're comfortable with. You need to have an open, adult talk with her about your feelings and your worries about her talking with her ex instead of snooping through her things. You going through her stuff also breaks trust and respect in the relationship, as it may make her less likely to trust you in the future. How would you feel if your SO didn't trust you to the point at which they started to go through your things (though in this case your worry is completely warranted)?

Talk to her sooner rather than later before this gets out of control.
Hope this helps
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mgi
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(Original post by Anonymous)
She hasn't told me anything. I haven't asked either. She probably doesn't know that I know all that stuff.

Can I have more opinions? Should I wait and see if more happens? Should I confront her? Should I walk away? Or should I not worry at all since that could be just a friendly thing?
No. Just give her more opportunities to prove to you that she is not lying: ask her when was the last time that she was in touch with her ex? You know the answer- but listen carefully and casually to what she says! Then ask her if she misses him? Then you will know if you are dealing with a liar or someone who is willing to tell you the truth. !
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