Jealous of my boyfriend’s past relationship

I have been with my boyfriend for 9 months, but over the last month - since I’ve really fallen for him - I find myself obsessed with his past with his ex girlfriend. We’ve never really spoken about our past relationships but as far as I’m aware he has had one before me that lasted 3 years during university and they broke up shortly after graduating. They’ve been split up for 6 years.

I’ve had two past relationships but throughout university I was single. I think a lot of my jealousy has come from seeing Facebook pictures that they are tagged in and also comments... I saw a jokey comment about her in his bed and obviously this triggered images in my head of them in bed together. I’m even more jealous since I didn’t experience a relationship through university and I feel like it probably was amazing.

I am mostly hurt because me and my boyfriend haven’t been able to spend a night together yet. There’s so many pictures of them on nights out and she is still close to his friends so I just think about how much fun they must have had and how they were probably pretty much in each other’s pockets. I only get to see him once a week so I envy all the time they spent together.

He has not once felt the need to bring up his ex and he always tells me I’m the one, I’m his future and he’s never felt this way before. Am I worrying for no reason?

Reply 1

AsithU

"Am I worrying for no reason?"
Oh yes.

Can't you lay off social media? I don't know how Facebook works (because who even uses Facebook anymore lol) but there must be a way to block posts that have the ex mentioned in them. Either way, you've gotta make an effort to stop looking at their past. period.

(edited 4 years ago)

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

Original post by AsithU

Thanks for your reply. I have actually deleted my Facebook account yesterday so hopefully this should help

Bump

Original post by Anonymous

Yes, you are worrying for no good reason and it may ruin your relationship with what sounds like a nice guy! I actually think it is great that neither of you have previously bothered about each other previous relationships. Do you want to be judged by your past relationships or do you want to look to the future? Do you trust him? If so, why are yiu cherishing your jealousies? this great uni relationship you think he had didnt actuallywork out though did it- so it wasn't that incredible then was it? It is actually none of your business how many times he was in bed with his ex is it? He's split from her and he apparently is fond of you. You slept with someone before him right? but he is not jealous. You don't have to have spent the night together in order to have an amazing relationship. It will happen soon enough. Make it special when it does!

(edited 4 years ago)

Thank you!

I think you should work on your insecurity. His past (which isn't even bad) has nothing to do with you. He is with you right now, and hopefully sees a future of some description with you in it. Don't mess it up because you're bothered by old pictures of him with other girls/exs, or you'll just end up controlling him and/or smothering the life out of the relationship.

I'm pretty sure this is a repost of that other thread, lmao. But if it is real and OP isn't trolling, then, the above stands.

(edited 4 years ago)

Thank you

Bump

Original post by Anonymous

Bump

Why do you keep bumping the thread when you've had helpful replies? It's getting to be attention-seeking now.

'As far as I am aware...' meaning you don't know the details of your boyfriend's relationship. There was a reason they split and he is with you now. Previous relationships show your boyfriend is a normal person, capable of being in a caring relationship. You'll rarely find someone who doesn't have a past, so don't throw away what you have based on something you have invented. If you aren't happy at seeing your boyfriend so rarely, can you do something about it? If you love him, enjoy the time you have together or find someome else, but sort things out for the right reasons.