The Student Room Group

dpo you hide how sexual you are from your friends

mainly for girls. i dont like the term ho or slut being used as an insulting or derogatory word as i feels those that wanna have sex should have sex. i know guys like boasting about how much sex they have...but for the girls frstly, do you have to be in a relationship before having sex? if not, then do you feel embarrassed talking about how much sex you have? just curious.

Toboscos
true, definitely double standards for men and women... player/playboy for guys, but sluts for girls :colonhash:
I think I've only once waited to actually be in a relationship before sleeping with someone. And in that instance he'd asked me to be his girlfriend earlier that same evening. Sex was on the table that night regardless.

I'm open about all aspects of my sexuality. I have written erotic fiction for the past decade so that's more or less normalised the topic for me rather than it feeling taboo. Besides I've so many hilarious sex stories it would be such a waste to keep them all to myself. If someone judges me for it then oh well that's their problem.
(edited 4 years ago)
I don't see anything wrong with people having as much or as little sex as they like, so long as the other person is consenting and happy with the terms of the arrangement (i.e. if it's casual, a relationship, an open relationship or whatever). There are some girls I know (one in particular) who uses sex as a weapon against men, and she's absolutely beautiful so it works way too well.. and that's what's not fair.
I've never been shy about my sexual experiences and I think it's entirely up to each individual as to how open they want to be.
What I do disagree with is people shaming others for either not being sexual enough or for being too promiscuous.
I also hated listening to my gut mates talking about women they had been with and if they deemed her as a 'slut' would say she wasn't girlfriend material, it's as though they want to **** around with as many girls as they can but when it comes to settling down they want a girl that has been with as fewer men as possible. It is 100% double standards when it comes to this topic.
Personally I don't care about it, me and my partner have never really discussed how many encounters we had prior to being together and in all honesty it doesn't matter if you truly love someone.

The phrase I've heard from men as well is "if a key fits many locks, it's a master key, but if a lock takes many keys, it's a **** lock" or something along those lines, but it's basically a really sexist joke saying a man's **** is like a master key and then putting a woman down with the **** lock metaphor.
I don't hide but usually prefer to keep my private life private.
Many of my friends take a different approach and prefer to share everything going on in their sex lives.
One male friend is in the habit of conducting several flings at once with much older married ladies, a female friend enjoys a regular stream of 10-15 mins hookups with guys she meets in clubs to whom she gives whatever first name comes into her head.
Another female friend into violent rape fantasies goes to bdsm events to meet like-minded male strangers, then turns up with some horrifying stories to share accompanied by injuries that have led to painkiller prescriptions.

There is a centuries old legacy remaining of the cultural attitude that applauds promiscuous guys, whilst at the same time stigmatizing women who choose to have an active sex life.
But uk society is becoming visibly less willing to embrace archaic societal sexual double standards.
(edited 4 years ago)

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