17-year old guy, never masturbated Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
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So I have a spinal issue which means that I’ve never masturbated, although I’ve had sexual desires for years. Could this have affected my personality?
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JTfoxlove
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I doubt it. Can you give an example of how it could have effected your personality?

You are you, lots of people don't masturbate for all sorts of reasons including issues with mobility, paralysis, dexterity. In a room of people you wouldn't know who does or who doesn't masturbate based upon anything other than asking them and them being truthful, their personalities, confidence levels, self-reported well-being scores would not show a significant correlation with masturbation.

I'm not sure what sort of impairment you have, where you are in the world but it might be worth considering talking to your doctor/nurse/carers/loved ones about your condition, options when it comes to sexual activity now and in the future and to see if they can put you in touch with specialists in this area.
Last edited by JTfoxlove; 1 week ago
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Anonymous #1
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I'm a very very driven person, and have intentionally driven away as many friends as I can, to ensure that I don't get distracted and to maintain productivity. Most people seem to search for enjoyment in their life, but I really don't. I get terribly guilty if I feel like I'm wasting time.
So recently I started wondering whether, if I did masturbate, I'd be more of a hedonist, or at least be more open to having a nice time, instead of working constantly. At the moment, I'm at the end of Year 12, and have taught myself most of next years' curricula in my A-Levels, and am currently writing a paper in a scientific journal on a fairly niche area of computer science. I also sat a load of big exams this year. When I say I'm driven, I'm not exaggerating, and I do wonder if I'd be a different person if I experienced pleasure on a daily basis.
As for my disability, I'm below five foot, but can walk. I used to be a lot less independent (I was born with it), but I've only found out recently that I can't masturbate, but I've never really bothered anyway, so I wasn't that surprised.
(Original post by JTfoxlove)
I doubt it. Can you give an example of how it could have effected your personality?

You are you, lots of people don't masturbate for all sorts of reasons including issues with mobility and dexterity. In a room of people you wouldn't know who does or who doesn't masturbate based upon anything other than asking them and them being truthful, their personalities, confidence levels, self-reported well-being scores would not show a significant correlation with masturbation.

I'm not sure what sort of impairment you have, where you are in the world but it might be worth considering talking to your doctor/nurse/carers/loved ones about your condition, options when it comes to sexual activity now and in the future and to see if they can put you in touch with specialists in this area.
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JTfoxlove
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I'd say not masturbating, fits into your 'work first' play later approach to life. So isn't an outlier and isn't going to miraculously change your personality in any direction.

While this will make you excel in certain areas, such a one-sided approach to a work-life balance may give you shortfalls in others. I'd encourage you to take some time to analysis what you want from life and where you currently are. What are the things that would make you feel better or improve your life? Everyone is different with what they want from life and how they want to spend their time.

This said, feeling guilty when you are doing something unproductive, aka fun or relaxing, isn't a good driving emotion as most people's brains and body need down time and recovery time. You'll have a better understanding of what's right for you but don't self-bully yourself.

When you say you can't masturbate do you mean: i) you've been told that you can't, ii) are struggling to maintain an erection or iii) just that it doesn't feel that good or doesn't allow you to reach climax?

Masturbation takes practice, I'd encourage you to listen to your body and explore if/as and when you feel the want to - if your concerned or believe it's related to your underlying health issue I'd report that to your doctor/consultant.
Last edited by JTfoxlove; 1 week ago
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Anonymous #1
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I say I can't because there have been several studies on people with similar issues to myself, all of which have concluded that those with my symptoms have a very low chance of being able to masturbate. I've received no bodily evidence that I can ejaculate (never had a wet dream). I spoke to the specialist who knows me better, who thought that I probably could, but I realised that I'd given him the wrong impression as to my sensation, after my appointment with him. I've since spoken to another specialist I did not know before, but who is more of an expert in the relevant field, and he didn't seem to think it likely that I could. As for my erectile function, I do get erections, and pretty often, but at odd times (like normally a few minutes after I've seen something hot); I've never heard of this in any medical literature, and I don't know what it means. I've heard that it takes time to climax, but I find the process very tedious and don't really get pleasurable sensations, so I've pretty much always given up within ten minutes, maximum, normally within two or three minutes. I imagine that typical guys do get some pleasurable sensation before they climax, which causes them to discover masturbation? At least that's the impression I get. It's all pretty alien to me.
(Original post by JTfoxlove)
I'd say not masturbating, fits into your 'work first' play later approach to life. So isn't an outlier and isn't going to miraculously change your personality in any direction.

While this will make you excel in certain areas, such a one-sided approach to a work-life balance may give you shortfalls in others. I'd encourage you to take some time to analysis what you want from life and where you currently are. What are the things that would make you feel better or improve your life? Everyone is different with what they want from life and how they want to spend their time.

This said, feeling guilty when you are doing something unproductive, aka fun or relaxing, isn't a good driving emotion as most people's brains and body need down time and recovery time. You'll have a better understanding of what's right for you but don't self-bully yourself.

When you say you can't masturbate do you mean: i) you've been told that you can't, ii) are struggling to maintain an erection or iii) just that it doesn't feel that good or doesn't allow you to reach climax?

Masturbation takes practice, I'd encourage you to listen to your body and explore if/as and when you feel the want to - if your concerned or believe it's related to your underlying health issue I'd report that to your doctor/consultant.
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JTfoxlove
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I see.

It's worth saying that plenty of people go on to find partners, who can't or choose not to engage in sexual activity... or more likely go on to have unsatisfying sex lives - it doesn't stop you from finding a partner, having a loving relationship or sharing the intimacy and trust or even having a family.

When it comes to masturbation I'd focus on relaxation and enjoyment rather than climax, if you want to do something or it feels nice carry on, if not, don't worry about it.
Last edited by JTfoxlove; 1 week ago
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Anonymous #1
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Idk. I'm a very competitive person, and I think I'd rather just not enter the relationships competition if my prize is going to end up being subpar. I'd rather spend the time on something else.
(Original post by JTfoxlove)
I see. It's worth saying that plenty of people go on to find partners, who can't or choose not to engage in sexual activity... or more likely go on to have unsatisfying sex lives - it doesn't stop you from finding a partner or sharing the intimacy and trust or even having a family.

When it comes to masturbation I'd focus on relaxation and enjoyment rather than climax, if you want to do something or it feels nice carry on, if not, don't worry about it.
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JTfoxlove
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Well that's one viewpoint - again it's all work and no play. I'd do what makes you happy but keep an open mind and take time out to plan.

Love is not a competition. Although they are all different I don't think anyone who ends up in a loving relationship to have a subpar 'prize'.
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