I feel defeated Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
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#1
I don’t mean to sound like a downer lol I’m just genuinely trying to describe how I feel, what do you do when your passions are dead and can’t be revived? When you can’t love anymore and feel like you’ve tried everything? When you’ve lost hope and feel empty? When you just wish you were anywhere else but where you are?

I just broke down crying because I’ve been through so much the last few years and reconnecting with my childhood always helped me get through things but this time it hasn’t worked, no music, no memories, no movies, no objects, no nostalgia can lift me out of this deep deep darkness like it could and did before.

Then I remembered how much I loved and always wanted a rabbit, looking at them always made me happy and just filled me with joy but this time nothing, I looked at it and couldn’t feel anything… it’s stupid I know, but I don’t like dwelling on my problems, I’ve always tried to find something to dig me out of the hole and if a rabbit can’t even do that I don’t know anymore

I’m also worried for my mind because I feel like my brain has been foggy and playing tricks on me, like getting easily confused, not knowing the obvious, not being able to recognise myself and a few other things are just getting in the way of my day to day life.

I’m so young and have just been through a lifetime of things, it’s so hard to keep pushing through. My hair is even starting to fall out and has been getting grey for years, I’ve got lines under my eyes, I genuinely feel like I’be been through a lifetime of issues and just can’t seeing myself going forward.

I don’t consider myself depressed, it’s because of circumstances. Depression is a dead end diagnosis, there has to be a way out without medicine
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rjckk
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Are you male or female? How old are you?
Do you have suicide thoughts?
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Anonymous #1
#3
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(Original post by rjckk)
Are you male or female? How old are you?
Do you have suicide thoughts?
Male, 20.

Not really, apart from thinking it'd be an easy way out of everything but I don't really have any intention
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LisJ9
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Hi, I also suffer with depression. I am 18 and don’t fit in with regular teenagers due to my illness and so I had to make older friends elsewhere. Start by taking a look at what’s making you unhappy if you can, strategise and place in ‘boxes’ what you’re going to positively change for yourself. As for the confusion, ensure that you are challenging your negative perspectives more than usual, is what you’re thinking actually true?
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rjckk
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Hello,I'm sorry to hear you also have depression.
Are you boy or girl?
Are you studying in high school or university? Do you study well?
(Original post by LisJ9)
Hi, I also suffer with depression. I am 18 and don’t fit in with regular teenagers due to my illness and so I had to make older friends elsewhere. Start by taking a look at what’s making you unhappy if you can, strategise and place in ‘boxes’ what you’re going to positively change for yourself. As for the confusion, ensure that you are challenging your negative perspectives more than usual, is what you’re thinking actually true?
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LisJ9
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I am a girl. My college suspended my studies because they decided I was too mentally ill to continue
(Original post by rjckk)
Hello,I'm sorry to hear you also have depression.
Are you boy or girl?
Are you studying in high school or university? Do you study well?
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RV3112
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I don’t mean to sound like a downer lol I’m just genuinely trying to describe how I feel, what do you do when your passions are dead and can’t be revived? When you can’t love anymore and feel like you’ve tried everything? When you’ve lost hope and feel empty? When you just wish you were anywhere else but where you are?

I don’t consider myself depressed, it’s because of circumstances. Depression is a dead end diagnosis, there has to be a way out without medicine
What do you do? You go to see your GP immediately.

They will not necessary diagnose you with anything or force you to take medication. However, they can refer you to various other services which may be of use. The only "dead end" is doing nothing. If you don't need medical help, at least let a medical professional make that determination.
Last edited by RV3112; 1 week ago
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Pathway
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Therapy is the way out without medication. You need to find the source of the struggle and treat it with compassion. Be kind to yourself. You're a human, being a human is difficult. Cut yourself some slack.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Pathway)
Therapy is the way out without medication. You need to find the source of the struggle and treat it with compassion. Be kind to yourself. You're a human, being a human is difficult. Cut yourself some slack.
(Original post by RV3112)
What do you do? You go to see your GP immediately.

They will not necessary diagnose you with anything or force you to take medication. However, they can refer you to various other services which may be of use. The only "dead end" is doing nothing. If you don't need medical help, at least let a medical professional make that determination.
Thanks for this advice, it's just I see so many throwing around the word depression today and it's almost like an excuse. I know I've been through a rough time and I could use this excuse, but its a trap, once I go down there I feel like there will be no way back up. My GP once suggested I was depressed when I was 13 and I was referred to CAMHs and I didn't like it, I didn't feel a need to open up. I was frustrated with the people and things around me. All I've wanted is a normal life, no family issues, no self issues and other things you wouldn't believe.

But I managed to get out of that when I got away from everything and made my own life, things only workout when you take responsibility for them and I try to so I quit the therapy and eventually was able to live in my own world, did what made me happy and was in an environment I was happy with by isolating myself from my family and toxic people and only seeing people I liked ... I just want to go back to that but it's all crumbled, I now feel guilty for not being close to my family and prehaps dealing with it at the time would've been better, I just need advice on how to get back to a position of control and hapiness. What makes you happy? and how can I get control of my life again?
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Pathway
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Thanks for this advice, it's just I see so many throwing around the word depression today and it's almost like an excuse. I know I've been through a rough time and I could use this excuse, but its a trap, once I go down there I feel like there will be no way back up. My GP once suggested I was depressed when I was 13 and I was referred to CAMHs and I didn't like it, I didn't feel a need to open up. I was frustrated with the people and things around me. All I've wanted is a normal life, no family issues, no self issues and other things you wouldn't believe.

But I managed to get out of that when I got away from everything and made my own life, things only workout when you take responsibility for them and I try to so I quit the therapy and eventually was able to live in my own world, did what made me happy and was in an environment I was happy with by isolating myself from my family and toxic people and only seeing people I liked ... I just want to go back to that but it's all crumbled, I now feel guilty for not being close to my family and prehaps dealing with it at the time would've been better, I just need advice on how to get back to a position of control and hapiness. What makes you happy? and how can I get control of my life again?
It's not an excuse, but it could be an explanation. You sound like you do need to open up. Perhaps at 13 you didn't feel able to? You're an adult now. You can face this (whatever is causing you to feel like you do) and get better, or you can avoid it some more and let it fester. The choice is yours. Getting therapy and facing things is taking responsibility. Just because you need help, doesn't mean you're not taking responsibility.

To answer your happiness question, I dunno. I have my own mental health issues so can't help you there as I've never felt what happiness was. I'm in therapy working through various things relating to trauma, perhaps I'll figure out what makes me happy in time, lol. To get control of your life is to face whatever it is you're running from. That way your fear won't control you anymore, which it sounds like it is.
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PTMalewski
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I didn't consider myself depressed either, untill my internal organs begun failing. Doctors put me through various different tests, they even suspected cancer, yet found nothing. Then my doctor, decided to give a (almost) blind shot, and prescribed anti-depressants. After a month, my body began working properly again. After 4 years I'm not cured, but at least my body functions tolerably again.
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Analyst89
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Sorry to hear about what you been through and your depression.

You need to go see your GP.

Do you have an ambition? Hobbies? Is there something you are passionate about? You can volunteer, go to the gym, join a club and be with positive people.
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Anonymous #2
#13
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do you have any brothers and sisters you can talk to
(Original post by Anonymous)
I don’t mean to sound like a downer lol I’m just genuinely trying to describe how I feel, what do you do when your passions are dead and can’t be revived? When you can’t love anymore and feel like you’ve tried everything? When you’ve lost hope and feel empty? When you just wish you were anywhere else but where you are?

I just broke down crying because I’ve been through so much the last few years and reconnecting with my childhood always helped me get through things but this time it hasn’t worked, no music, no memories, no movies, no objects, no nostalgia can lift me out of this deep deep darkness like it could and did before.

Then I remembered how much I loved and always wanted a rabbit, looking at them always made me happy and just filled me with joy but this time nothing, I looked at it and couldn’t feel anything… it’s stupid I know, but I don’t like dwelling on my problems, I’ve always tried to find something to dig me out of the hole and if a rabbit can’t even do that I don’t know anymore

I’m also worried for my mind because I feel like my brain has been foggy and playing tricks on me, like getting easily confused, not knowing the obvious, not being able to recognise myself and a few other things are just getting in the way of my day to day life.

I’m so young and have just been through a lifetime of things, it’s so hard to keep pushing through. My hair is even starting to fall out and has been getting grey for years, I’ve got lines under my eyes, I genuinely feel like I’be been through a lifetime of issues and just can’t seeing myself going forward.

I don’t consider myself depressed, it’s because of circumstances. Depression is a dead end diagnosis, there has to be a way out without medicine
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Jojooo123
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talk to someone please, you can be pm i have been through some tough things too
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Anonymous #1
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It’s not depression, it’s the reality I live in
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Pathway
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(Original post by Anonymous)
It’s not depression, it’s the reality I live in
You can still be depressed due to circumstances. Usually if it's circumstantial depression then therapy is the way to improve it, medication could help, but therapy is going to help you the most.

Tbh most people with depression are depressed due to circumstances, current or past. Depression could be biological initially, but cause problems which perpetuate the depressed state and so on and so forth. Honestly, providing you get help it doesn't matter which was the starting point.

Why are you resistant to getting help? If you don't want to use the label because you feel it doesn't help you, fine, then don't use it, but you can still get help. Trust me, I've been where you are, not wanting help, not wanting any input from anyone ever. I was independent to a fault. It's OK to need help. It's OK to ask for help. You're not weak, a failure, or anything for needing it. Just don't cut your nose of to spite your face because you're worried about a label. Get help, you'll save yourself a lot of grief and sorrow and be happier for it.

Message me if you need support.
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