What was this guy's problem? Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
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So there was this guy I was speaking to on Tinder, this was about 2 years ago. We then started talking on snapchat, WhatsApp and had a few phone calls. In all honesty I didn't find him that attractive, but he was quite funny so I decided to look past his looks. Well he used to do stuff like block me for one day then unblock me again, and for some odd reason I never deleted him after him doing this. He made fun of my looks in one throwback picture from my early teen years then refused to apologise. Again I don't know why I didn't delete him, I think I was just focusing on his nice moments because sometimes if I called him to vent about something he would be a good listener. For two years he kept trying to meet me and I would always have excuses or blow him off.

During this time I would just talk to and see other guys instead and I had one on my Snapchat story. He never really got the hint and kept trying to meet me. One day I replied to his snap story after we hadn't spoken for a while, and he talked about how he was thinking "what have I done to this girl". I told him something traumatic happened to me where an ex had committed identity theft and fraud against me (that's all sorted now) so I didn't really want to date any guys for a while and he said ok I understand why you didn't want to meet me now, that he's a nice guy and I should give him a chance, then I told him even if that didn't happen I wouldn't have gone to meet him anyway, after you refused to apologise to me for the rude thing you said. He then apologised and I guess I just forgave him. About a week later or so, I was feeling bad about never going to meet him when he had been wanting to for years and had told me that he would be going back to his old town after uni, so I offered to visit him.

When I went to visit him, he was rude, cold and hostile from the first moment. He made a comment about how I had lost loads of weight (I had lost 15lbs from the stress with my ex) and was really unfriendly. He was on his phone most of the time when I was talking to him, ignoring me, and was very curt. I hate myself for not deciding to leave early when I picked up on this, and I will never understand why I didn't leave. He told me that he had to go to bed in such a rude way and then I got an Uber back home. I'm just not understanding why he had to be so nasty when he had been trying all this time to meet me. The next day he told me he wasn't feeling me like that, when I asked him why he said I only speak to people with certain vibes. I'm very mad at myself that I did not delete him after our encounter. Why was he so hostile?
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Xarao
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#2
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The problem isn't him, it's you. For some reason you're obsessed with him and overlooked all the red flags when they were clearly their. That's his normal personality and even after all the petty fights you guys had, you still decided to see him and still talk about him. I highly doubt you even blocked/deleted him as well.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Xarao)
The problem isn't him, it's you. For some reason you're obsessed with him and overlooked all the red flags when they were clearly their. That's his normal personality and even after all the petty fights you guys had, you still decided to see him and still talk about him. I highly doubt you even blocked/deleted him as well.
I believe my mind was just concentrating on his nice moments, such as willing to listen to my rants if I was annoyed about something. So because of that, I felt bad that I had been turning down his requests to meet all that time.
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Anonymous #1
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I think the best way to describe it is that I see the good in people, and concentrate on their positive qualities. I've been the same way with ex friends, who should have been cut off earlier.
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FakeNewsEditor
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You're both weird.

Why did you go to meet him if you didn't really like him? what would you possibly gain from this? he has asked to meet you for a few times because, I assume, they like you. I mean that's why they told you that ''im a nice guy give me a chance" (vomits).

So, to sum up, it is clear (to me) that he liked you, it is clear (to me) that you had no reason to go visit him - having known he likes you and you don't. You say you felt bad about not having met after all these years but I just can't understand what did you expect would happen.
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Anonymous #2
#6
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(Original post by Anonymous)
So there was this guy I was speaking to on Tinder, this was about 2 years ago. We then started talking on snapchat, WhatsApp and had a few phone calls. In all honesty I didn't find him that attractive, but he was quite funny so I decided to look past his looks. Well he used to do stuff like block me for one day then unblock me again, and for some odd reason I never deleted him after him doing this. He made fun of my looks in one throwback picture from my early teen years then refused to apologise. Again I don't know why I didn't delete him, I think I was just focusing on his nice moments because sometimes if I called him to vent about something he would be a good listener. For two years he kept trying to meet me and I would always have excuses or blow him off.

During this time I would just talk to and see other guys instead and I had one on my Snapchat story. He never really got the hint and kept trying to meet me. One day I replied to his snap story after we hadn't spoken for a while, and he talked about how he was thinking "what have I done to this girl". I told him something traumatic happened to me where an ex had committed identity theft and fraud against me (that's all sorted now) so I didn't really want to date any guys for a while and he said ok I understand why you didn't want to meet me now, that he's a nice guy and I should give him a chance, then I told him even if that didn't happen I wouldn't have gone to meet him anyway, after you refused to apologise to me for the rude thing you said. He then apologised and I guess I just forgave him. About a week later or so, I was feeling bad about never going to meet him when he had been wanting to for years and had told me that he would be going back to his old town after uni, so I offered to visit him.

When I went to visit him, he was rude, cold and hostile from the first moment. He made a comment about how I had lost loads of weight (I had lost 15lbs from the stress with my ex) and was really unfriendly. He was on his phone most of the time when I was talking to him, ignoring me, and was very curt. I hate myself for not deciding to leave early when I picked up on this, and I will never understand why I didn't leave. He told me that he had to go to bed in such a rude way and then I got an Uber back home. I'm just not understanding why he had to be so nasty when he had been trying all this time to meet me. The next day he told me he wasn't feeling me like that, when I asked him why he said I only speak to people with certain vibes. I'm very mad at myself that I did not delete him after our encounter. Why was he so hostile?
First you were talking on Tinder, no real man is on Tinder
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Anonymous #3
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(Original post by Xarao)
The problem isn't him, it's you. For some reason you're obsessed with him and overlooked all the red flags when they were clearly their. That's his normal personality and even after all the petty fights you guys had, you still decided to see him and still talk about him. I highly doubt you even blocked/deleted him as well.
Sounds like he is the one who was obsessed with her. From what it sounds like, he was the one who kept chasing after her when she clearly wasn't interested. But OP definitely ignored red flags perhaps from self esteem issues.
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Oxford Mum
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#8
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I understand you completely. You sound very much like me. I gave someone a chance because I thought he liked me (online).

Went to meet him and he must have used an old photo because he was much older in real life. He seemed quite intelligent and interesting though. When I met him he was quite complimentary about my eyes (my best feature). He then said I was the only person he liked online and not to contact anyone else. However he went off to his house in Spain for months. I kept on contacting him and he spoke to me. He still seemed interested. However when he came back he said he didn't want to meet me again.

Whilst he was with me on the date, his phone was pinging all the time. He said it was his elderly parents, however looking back he maybe contacted a lot of ladies and decided to bench me. My son and I checked out some of the things he said, and many were proved to be lies. In fact we had a lot of fun debunking him. My son even tracked him down to his balcony in his Spanish house! Sure enough, he was standing there (on Google maps), as large as life! I would imagine your fella is much like mine. He has contacted a lot of women and enjoys messing with their minds. Just put him in the dustbin of your mind.

There is nothing wrong with you at all. Like me you give people a Rolls Royce in a relationship but get back a broken down push bike. Move on to the next one but just be aware a lot of these shenanigans go on with internet dating. I left to save my own sanity, and do not regret it one little bit.

Big hugs to you

:hugs::five:
(Original post by Anonymous)
I think the best way to describe it is that I see the good in people, and concentrate on their positive qualities. I've been the same way with ex friends, who should have been cut off earlier.
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Anonymous #1
#9
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(Original post by FakeNewsEditor)
You're both weird.

Why did you go to meet him if you didn't really like him? what would you possibly gain from this? he has asked to meet you for a few times because, I assume, they like you. I mean that's why they told you that ''im a nice guy give me a chance" (vomits).

So, to sum up, it is clear (to me) that he liked you, it is clear (to me) that you had no reason to go visit him - having known he likes you and you don't. You say you felt bad about not having met after all these years but I just can't understand what did you expect would happen.
Yes I get what you mean. He really did guilt trip me and I just felt horrible. I wish I had listened to my gut instincts.
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Xarao
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Yes I get what you mean. He really did guilt trip me and I just felt horrible. I wish I had listened to my gut instincts.
Just learn from this and move on.
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Anonymous #4
#11
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Sounds like he was a negger. If you guys went any further he would have been emotionally abusive for sure.
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Lady Jamie
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#12
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(Original post by Anonymous)
So there was this guy I was speaking to on Tinder, this was about 2 years ago. We then started talking on snapchat, WhatsApp and had a few phone calls. In all honesty I didn't find him that attractive, but he was quite funny so I decided to look past his looks. Well he used to do stuff like block me for one day then unblock me again, and for some odd reason I never deleted him after him doing this. He made fun of my looks in one throwback picture from my early teen years then refused to apologise. Again I don't know why I didn't delete him, I think I was just focusing on his nice moments because sometimes if I called him to vent about something he would be a good listener. For two years he kept trying to meet me and I would always have excuses or blow him off.

During this time I would just talk to and see other guys instead and I had one on my Snapchat story. He never really got the hint and kept trying to meet me. One day I replied to his snap story after we hadn't spoken for a while, and he talked about how he was thinking "what have I done to this girl". I told him something traumatic happened to me where an ex had committed identity theft and fraud against me (that's all sorted now) so I didn't really want to date any guys for a while and he said ok I understand why you didn't want to meet me now, that he's a nice guy and I should give him a chance, then I told him even if that didn't happen I wouldn't have gone to meet him anyway, after you refused to apologise to me for the rude thing you said. He then apologised and I guess I just forgave him. About a week later or so, I was feeling bad about never going to meet him when he had been wanting to for years and had told me that he would be going back to his old town after uni, so I offered to visit him.

When I went to visit him, he was rude, cold and hostile from the first moment. He made a comment about how I had lost loads of weight (I had lost 15lbs from the stress with my ex) and was really unfriendly. He was on his phone most of the time when I was talking to him, ignoring me, and was very curt. I hate myself for not deciding to leave early when I picked up on this, and I will never understand why I didn't leave. He told me that he had to go to bed in such a rude way and then I got an Uber back home. I'm just not understanding why he had to be so nasty when he had been trying all this time to meet me. The next day he told me he wasn't feeling me like that, when I asked him why he said I only speak to people with certain vibes. I'm very mad at myself that I did not delete him after our encounter. Why was he so hostile?
Dunno, too many weirdos in the world.

Anytime spent pondering is wasted time tho, not worth it.
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mgi
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(Original post by Anonymous)
So there was this guy I was speaking to on Tinder, this was about 2 years ago. We then started talking on snapchat, WhatsApp and had a few phone calls. In all honesty I didn't find him that attractive, but he was quite funny so I decided to look past his looks. Well he used to do stuff like block me for one day then unblock me again, and for some odd reason I never deleted him after him doing this. He made fun of my looks in one throwback picture from my early teen years then refused to apologise. Again I don't know why I didn't delete him, I think I was just focusing on his nice moments because sometimes if I called him to vent about something he would be a good listener. For two years he kept trying to meet me and I would always have excuses or blow him off.

During this time I would just talk to and see other guys instead and I had one on my Snapchat story. He never really got the hint and kept trying to meet me. One day I replied to his snap story after we hadn't spoken for a while, and he talked about how he was thinking "what have I done to this girl". I told him something traumatic happened to me where an ex had committed identity theft and fraud against me (that's all sorted now) so I didn't really want to date any guys for a while and he said ok I understand why you didn't want to meet me now, that he's a nice guy and I should give him a chance, then I told him even if that didn't happen I wouldn't have gone to meet him anyway, after you refused to apologise to me for the rude thing you said. He then apologised and I guess I just forgave him. About a week later or so, I was feeling bad about never going to meet him when he had been wanting to for years and had told me that he would be going back to his old town after uni, so I offered to visit him.

When I went to visit him, he was rude, cold and hostile from the first moment. He made a comment about how I had lost loads of weight (I had lost 15lbs from the stress with my ex) and was really unfriendly. He was on his phone most of the time when I was talking to him, ignoring me, and was very curt. I hate myself for not deciding to leave early when I picked up on this, and I will never understand why I didn't leave. He told me that he had to go to bed in such a rude way and then I got an Uber back home. I'm just not understanding why he had to be so nasty when he had been trying all this time to meet me. The next day he told me he wasn't feeling me like that, when I asked him why he said I only speak to people with certain vibes. I'm very mad at myself that I did not delete him after our encounter. Why was he so hostile?
Because he is a boy and not a man and he knows that you don't respect yourself otherwise you would have dumped him very early on.
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Dramadanielle
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At least you’ve learnt from this experience, maybe you were clinging onto something that was only going to hurt you, we’ve all been there, he sounds like a bit of a two sided person, he seems to blow hot and cold and mess you around, at least you stepped away when you could
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Anonymous #3
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Reading through this again it sounds like he knew you weren't that into him and he was bitter about it.
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Anonymous #3
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(Original post by mgi)
Because he is a boy and not a man and he knows that you don't respect yourself otherwise you would have dumped him very early on.
OP mentions an ex that committed identity theft against her which suggests to me that she was in an abusive relationship. Domestic violence victims are often degraded so much by their partners that they are left with little self esteem. The identity theft/fraud would have left her in a bad place mentally also, I couldn't imagine my mental state if that happened to me. She was not in the right state of mind to be making good decisions, although OP did seem to stop contact with the guy though but should have deleted him completely rather than just not speaking to him.
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keptinside
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Basically he was obsessed with your pics.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by keptinside)
Basically he was obsessed with your pics.
What do you mean?
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keptinside
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(Original post by Anonymous)
What do you mean?
He wasn’t planning anything serious
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mgi
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(Original post by Anonymous)
OP mentions an ex that committed identity theft against her which suggests to me that she was in an abusive relationship. Domestic violence victims are often degraded so much by their partners that they are left with little self esteem. The identity theft/fraud would have left her in a bad place mentally also, I couldn't imagine my mental state if that happened to me. She was not in the right state of mind to be making good decisions, although OP did seem to stop contact with the guy though but should have deleted him completely rather than just not speaking to him.
Agreed. We all have to find eays to make sure that we are respecting ourself regardless of how other people think or behave.
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