Being asexual but not aromantic? Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 week ago
#1
For years I've kind of known I was asexual - but I often just put it aside as being uncomfortable with physical contact.

Anyway recently I was dating a girl and I loved her personality - but I just wasn't physically attracted to her and that just led to everything not working out.
And now i'm just sitting here feeling well...

I want to be in a relationship - I want to fall in love with someone and potentially spend the rest of my life with them, but I don't want to have a physical relationship (aside from hand holding, hugs etc) and I feel like I'm never going to find someone.

That sounds so so pessimistic - but I just don't know anyone who's asexual but not aromantic and I just don't even know.

I'm still fairly young (very legal though) and yes I have all my life to find someone but I feel like I'm looking for someone out of a such a niche group that who knows if i'll ever find someone.

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If I don't find someone I'm going to start an animal sanctuary and be surrounded by the loves of my life for the rest of my days
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#2
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It is a small group but one day you will likely come across someone that suits you both. I'm Aro Ace so I haven't experienced the struggle but I have read plenty of Aces talking about this on AVEN.
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SillyFish
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I know exactly how you feel, sometimes I put it down to body confidence or fear of losing control or being young but honestly I don't even like kissing, chances are I won't enjoy sex either! But I too get romantic feelings for people.

I try not to worry about my future since there's nothing I can do except hope people learn to communicate and respect boundaries more.
At 16 it is frustrating though, I get lonely and want a partner but know the chances of finding someone my age who is either asexual or mature enough to handle my being asexual are slim.

Let's hope these things get easier as we get older and society becomes more accepting of aces! Although I live for a society that doesn't shame promiscuity I find the constant references to sex tiring.

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will fully join you working at the animal sanctuary with my many adopted children


(Original post by Anonymous)
For years I've kind of known I was asexual - but I often just put it aside as being uncomfortable with physical contact.

Anyway recently I was dating a girl and I loved her personality - but I just wasn't physically attracted to her and that just led to everything not working out.
And now i'm just sitting here feeling well...

I want to be in a relationship - I want to fall in love with someone and potentially spend the rest of my life with them, but I don't want to have a physical relationship (aside from hand holding, hugs etc) and I feel like I'm never going to find someone.

That sounds so so pessimistic - but I just don't know anyone who's asexual but not aromantic and I just don't even know.

I'm still fairly young (very legal though) and yes I have all my life to find someone but I feel like I'm looking for someone out of a such a niche group that who knows if i'll ever find someone.

Spoiler:
Show

If I don't find someone I'm going to start an animal sanctuary and be surrounded by the loves of my life for the rest of my days
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mgi
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#4
Report 1 week ago
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(Original post by SillyFish)
I know exactly how you feel, sometimes I put it down to body confidence or fear of losing control or being young but honestly I don't even like kissing, chances are I won't enjoy sex either! But I too get romantic feelings for people.

I try not to worry about my future since there's nothing I can do except hope people learn to communicate and respect boundaries more.
At 16 it is frustrating though, I get lonely and want a partner but know the chances of finding someone my age who is either asexual or mature enough to handle my being asexual are slim.

Let's hope these things get easier as we get older and society becomes more accepting of aces! Although I live for a society that doesn't shame promiscuity I find the constant references to sex tiring.

Spoiler:
Show
will fully join you working at the animal sanctuary with my many adopted children
Asexuality is not about being mature or immature it is about being honest and clear with any potential partner about what your real physicall ferlings are. I have met lonely asexual people who have not been honest enough to say that they want a close but non - sexual relationship with someone. If you pitential partner has an interest in sexual intimacy with an asexual then the asexual should move on rather than screw up their life and the other person's life. Fear of loneliness is no excuse! Search for other asexuals to form longterm relationships with!
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