My boyfriend has stopped doing cute things

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Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 2 years ago
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We've been together for 10 months now. About 3 months in, and up until a month ago, he would facetime me a lot and send me cute quotes some days before bedtime. He's stopped doing both these things recently and it's upsetting me. I didn't want to bring it up with him because then when he does start doing it again I'd just feel like it's because I pestered him to do so. He still rings me, we text throughout every day and he shows plenty of affection when we see each other.

Does it sound like he's just getting comfortable? Should I mention something to him?
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camembertqueen
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Maybe bring it up subtly
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Plantagenet Crown
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(Original post by Anonymous)
We've been together for 10 months now. About 3 months in, and up until a month ago, he would facetime me a lot and send me cute quotes some days before bedtime. He's stopped doing both these things recently and it's upsetting me. I didn't want to bring it up with him because then when he does start doing it again I'd just feel like it's because I pestered him to do so. He still rings me, we text throughout every day and he shows plenty of affection when we see each other.

Does it sound like he's just getting comfortable? Should I mention something to him?
Why is it always the guy expected to do cute things? Damn, if you lasses want feminism then maybe you should take the initiative and do cute things for him for a change.
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chibibotto
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It sounds like the 'honeymoon period' of your relationship, as they say, may be over. There is nothing wrong with this and it doesn't mean he doesn't love you because he is still affectionate! I do understand why you feel upset though 😔
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lastlullabyy
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I agree with someone above - why does it always have to the guy?

Don’t know how old you are but relationships don’t really work the way to do “cute” things all the time. Getting comfortable with someone is the opposite of a reason to get upset!

I was always up for equality in my relationship and still am. I used to date someone who “sent me cute quotes” etc. He turned out to be an absolute douche. Mind you, I was 14-18 when I was with him so very, very young.

You can send him quotes or songs or whatever you want too. Or facetime him. Or surprise him with something - or do something nice otherwise 🤷🏼
Last edited by lastlullabyy; 2 years ago
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Plantagenet Crown)
Why is it always the guy expected to do cute things? Damn, if you lasses want feminism then maybe you should take the initiative and do cute things for him for a change.
(Original post by lastlullabyy)
I agree with someone above - why does it always have to the guy?

Don’t know how old you are but relationships don’t really work the way to do “cute” things all the time. Getting comfortable with someone is the opposite of a reason to get upset!

I was always up for equality in my relationship and still am. I used to date someone who “sent me cute quotes” etc. He turned out to be an absolute douche. Mind you, I was 14-18 when I was with him so very, very young.

You can send him quotes or songs or whatever you want too. Or facetime him. Or surprise him with something - or do something nice otherwise 🤷🏼*♀️
I still send him cute quotes... he just doesn't send any back. I also didn't want to facetime in case he's completely gone off it...
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xDron3
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I did this with my girlfriend because I was comfortable with her and was in a happy relationship. And in fact it started to annoy me as she did nothing cute in return yet constantly complained.

If he's caring and kind take that as the cuteness rather than small materialistic things.
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lastlullabyy
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I still send him cute quotes... he just doesn't send any back. I also didn't want to facetime in case he's completely gone off it...
Well, like I said - not sure how old you are but take it from someone who’s 25, been in a relationship for 6 years and is getting married in 7 months - guys really can’t read minds. If it really bothers you that much, talk to him. Communication is the key to a great relationship - be it romantic or otherwise

For me now coming home to clean sheets and fragrance stick plugged in and on is “cute” - or coming back and having a nice bath ready after I moaned on the phone how hard my day was 😂🙈 if it goes the opposite way, I usually book a table somewhere or get a bottle of his fav wine and we spend chilled evening together.

But like I said, that’s 6 years together, living together for 5 😂🙈
Last edited by lastlullabyy; 2 years ago
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by xDron3)
I did this with my girlfriend because I was comfortable with her and was in a happy relationship. And in fact it started to annoy me as she did nothing cute in return yet constantly complained.

If he's caring and kind take that as the cuteness rather than small materialistic things.
I do do things though... and this isn't really materialistic
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Anonymous #2
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i think you need to understand that people try hard at the start of relationship but they will stop trying so hard as they get comfortable. you can expect less 'cute' things and such as the relationship goes on and it becomes less lovey-dovey.
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xDron3
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How old are you two if you don't mind me asking?
(Original post by Anonymous)
I do do things though... and this isn't really materialistic
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Andrew97
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I tired to do cute things for my girl once, failed massively. For some reason she didn’t find kidnapping her enemies and her family and tying them up in my garage to be cute. No idea why.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by xDron3)
How old are you two if you don't mind me asking?
Late 20s
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username3890778
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I hope this doesn’t happen to me. I want it to feel like i fall in love everyday. Sorry i ain’t got no advice, it just happens
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Anonymous #3
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You need to give him more oral.
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xDron3
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I feel this is definitely a gender thing, after a certain timeframe you tone down those things a lot. As a male anyway.
(Original post by Anonymous)
Late 20s
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chibibotto
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Also isn't it better that he's comfortable in your relationship and not sending you quotes (but still loving you) than him not being happy in your relationship and feeling trapped?
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Anonymous #4
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Sometimes it's because people get comfortable in relationships, the "chasing" is over, and they feel as though they don't need to upkeep the same kind of effort. With this being said, it's important that this kind of effort is a two way thing, otherwise the other person will start to feel frustrated.

If this is something you return, then maybe speak to him and ask him why. You'll ever know unless you ask him directly. Communication is so important in relationships - and you don't want this to brew and brew and upset yourself over something that could potentially end up being nothing!
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