I don't know why I feel like this Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 week ago
#1
I have been feeling down for quite a while now and I just cannot put my finger on it.

I am a 28-year-old female and I got married a year ago. I am a doctor by profession. I graduated from abroad in 2016 but since then I haven't really practiced medicine. I've done a few locum (contract) jobs since then.

I don't know if this is relevant but I come from a family of successful doctors and engineer. I got into Medicine because I wanted to be someone and while doing the course I felt like I had a purpose, an end goal.

I don't know why but I feel like such a failure. I feel like a failure within my marriage because I haven't been able to work. I don't feel motivated to do anything. I have been feeling like this for months and I've been trying to ignore it.

And I find it hard to open up to my husband because I feel like he married this ambitious young woman. I have no one else that I can truly open up to because of fear of judgment.
0
reply
Anonymous #2
#2
Report 1 week ago
#2
(Original post by Anonymous)
I have been feeling down for quite a while now and I just cannot put my finger on it.

I am a 28-year-old female and I got married a year ago. I am a doctor by profession. I graduated from abroad in 2016 but since then I haven't really practiced medicine. I've done a few locum (contract) jobs since then.

I don't know if this is relevant but I come from a family of successful doctors and engineer. I got into Medicine because I wanted to be someone and while doing the course I felt like I had a purpose, an end goal.

I don't know why but I feel like such a failure. I feel like a failure within my marriage because I haven't been able to work. I don't feel motivated to do anything. I have been feeling like this for months and I've been trying to ignore it.

And I find it hard to open up to my husband because I feel like he married this ambitious young woman. I have no one else that I can truly open up to because of fear of judgment.
Okay, I would love to help you stop feeling like this.
Firstly, you said you are a doctor by profession but you said you don’t work? I’m confused, do you have a job being a doctor in the hospital or not??? If not, why?
Secondly, are you happy in your marriage? Do you love your husband? Does he make you happy? You should be able to share anything with him. It worries me that he’s your partner for life yet you couldn’t go to him with such feelings of negativity.
Thirdly, there’s no judgement! You are entitled to feel the way you’re feeling. Trust me I would know! You could have everything you need, want and desire and still there’s just something that isn’t right. Don’t be so hard on yourself.

‘Have patience with all things but first of all have patience with yourself’ ~Rumi
1
reply
Taz554:-)
Badges: 15
Rep:
?
#3
Report 1 week ago
#3
Hey there chuck. I personally think that you ended up in a profession that you dont particularly enjoy or feel that immersed in probably due to indirect or direct pressure from the rest of your family. This has just caused a reaction chain with you obviously being a fully qualified doctor and all with the fancy title and all but it probably didnt hit the end goal that you wanted. Everybody has a weakness and your husband should understand that. You sound down and in need of assistance so dont forget the promises you made in your vows. He should be there for you whether he sees a ambition active doctor or his down and upset wife. i wish the best of luck bab!
1
reply
Anonymous #3
#4
Report 1 week ago
#4
(Original post by Anonymous)
Okay, I would love to help you stop feeling like this.
Firstly, you said you are a doctor by profession but you said you don’t work? I’m confused, do you have a job being a doctor in the hospital or not??? If not, why?
Secondly, are you happy in your marriage? Do you love your husband? Does he make you happy? You should be able to share anything with him. It worries me that he’s your partner for life yet you couldn’t go to him with such feelings of negativity.
Thirdly, there’s no judgement! You are entitled to feel the way you’re feeling. Trust me I would know! You could have everything you need, want and desire and still there’s just something that isn’t right. Don’t be so hard on yourself.

‘Have patience with all things but first of all have patience with yourself’ ~Rumi
shes an unemployed doctor obviously
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#5
Report Thread starter 1 week ago
#5
(Original post by Anonymous)
Okay, I would love to help you stop feeling like this.
Firstly, you said you are a doctor by profession but you said you don’t work? I’m confused, do you have a job being a doctor in the hospital or not??? If not, why?
Secondly, are you happy in your marriage? Do you love your husband? Does he make you happy? You should be able to share anything with him. It worries me that he’s your partner for life yet you couldn’t go to him with such feelings of negativity.
Thirdly, there’s no judgement! You are entitled to feel the way you’re feeling. Trust me I would know! You could have everything you need, want and desire and still there’s just something that isn’t right. Don’t be so hard on yourself.

‘Have patience with all things but first of all have patience with yourself’ ~Rumi
I am a fully licensed doctor but I have not managed to secure a long-term position. I have, however, done a few contract jobs. You know the one-off locum jobs. I didn't cope very well in these jobs as well, I felt so inadequate and the whole experience has made me scared and a bit put off being a doctor.

I am happy with my marriage. I mean at least that's what I tell myself. If I were to admit otherwise I feel that I would be being ungrateful to a wonderful husband. I don't think that my sadness stems from my marriage. I do love my husband because I can't imagine a life without him. I think the ability to not share anything with my partner has to do with the way I was raised. It stems from my childhood. I grew up without the emotional support from my parents.

Thank you for your reply, really appreciate the response.
0
reply
Anonymous #2
#6
Report 1 week ago
#6
(Original post by Anonymous)
I am a fully licensed doctor but I have not managed to secure a long-term position. I have, however, done a few contract jobs. You know the one-off locum jobs. I didn't cope very well in these jobs as well, I felt so inadequate and the whole experience has made me scared and a bit put off being a doctor.

I am happy with my marriage. I mean at least that's what I tell myself. If I were to admit otherwise I feel that I would be being ungrateful to a wonderful husband. I don't think that my sadness stems from my marriage. I do love my husband because I can't imagine a life without him. I think the ability to not share anything with my partner has to do with the way I was raised. It stems from my childhood. I grew up without the emotional support from my parents.

Thank you for your reply, really appreciate the response.
I totally understand about you not sharing & how it stems from your childhood. I feel the same to an extent! But I also try very hard to not allow that to continue on i.e. with my boyfriend I do try and open up and honestly he supports me in the way I need, it’s so satisfying. So while you aren’t unhappy in your marriage, I think if you opened up the possibility to sharing more with him, you would be happier in a sense?

Isn’t the NHS always in need of doctors? Apply to a lot more jobs. You literally can save lives. There’s always a demand for that. I understand you’ve been put off but remember, no 1 experience is the same. Each one is different. One may be positive, one may be negative. We can’t allow ourselves to give up, we need to keep going.

‘You cannot reach what’s in front of you until you let go of what’s behind you’
0
reply
R00ster
Badges: 6
Rep:
?
#7
Report 1 week ago
#7
Can you see a therapist, at all? There are some really helpful comments on here but at the end of the day, the advice we give you will only be based on our own lived experiences and personal wisdom. A therapist will be trained to take a step back, guide you in finding the cause of the problem and can help you consider the right approach for you. After all, we each have different needs and vastly different histories.

I'd just like to say you're not alone in going through this and it's not a reflection on your capability...you're clearly very capable. You reminded me of something I went through and for me, finding answers to the cause of it was the key...I couldn't even articulate my problems bc they were linked to pre developmental trauma. It's still slow going (getting treatment) but I'm starting to get answers. Not to say your concerns will be the same, but getting answers as to why you feel this why sounds like it might be important. Reaching out and accepting help were also very helpful for me.

If you'd like to know any more about things that helped me, please don't hesitate to private message me. I hope you feel better soon.
0
reply
X

Quick Reply

Attached files
Write a reply...
Reply
new posts
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

Are you tempted to change your firm university choice on A-level results day?

Yes, I'll try and go to a uni higher up the league tables (150)
17.71%
Yes, there is a uni that I prefer and I'll fit in better (75)
8.85%
No I am happy with my course choice (501)
59.15%
I'm using Clearing when I have my exam results (121)
14.29%

Watched Threads

View All