I’m planning on travelling for a few months but bf said he might not stick around Watch

Anonymous #1
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So yeah I’m on a gap year atm and I’m planning on travelling for maybe 4-6 months, something I’ve dreamed of doing my entire life, and I had a convo with my bf of 2 years about how he feels about it.. he just bluntly says he has a choice to not stay in the relationship and it’ll be hard because he’s a needy guy.. this is understandable and I have embraced the concept of this happening, but it kind of hurt bc it seems that rather living the essence of who I am I feel as though he really just loves company and just someone to fulfill his needs basically... he’s generally been an extremely loving and very compassionate person so hearing him just come out with this. Tbf it’s not the point of him leaving which bothers me.. it’s bc I feel like I’ve had the wrong concept of how strong our love is.. He told me I’ve been the best he’s had and the longest relationship, but then he just says he wouldn’t be able to endure 4 months apart and throw away 2 years of our relationship... it doesn’t seem as set in stone as I thought. See it’s not the point of him leaving that hurts, it’s my misconception of what love really is as I’ve struggled to have it in my life.. not just from a relationship but from friends/family.. I have depression and social anxiety and generally can’t get close to any other person, so the only person I genuinely love the most and is close with and is basically the only person I have other than my parents says something like that to me... it kind of scolds me... I’ve obviously mistaken it for unconditional love... after he said this he apologised briefly and I understand he will feel lonely but I can’t let go of it... if I was The one being left behind I’d instead say I’ll miss you a lot and it’ll be difficult for me but we will see how it goes and I’ll try my best to stay
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Fatcookies
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just someone to fulfill his needs? sounds like he just wants to f*** you
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keptinside
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If you’re into it, ask him to accompain you. So you’d be together.
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Anonymous #1
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Nah we’ll i didn’t mean it like that, he’s actually very loving and seems to care about a relationship more than just ****ing.. I guess I meant fulfill the need of having company, rather than enduring temporary loneliness for the sake of our relationship
(Original post by Fatcookies)
just someone to fulfill his needs? sounds like he just wants to f*** you
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Fatcookies
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well let me tell u girl it dont matter how far away u are from him, if the guy really loved you he'd stick with you. dont let a man hold you down from your dreams if he aint gonna support you, thats some bs right there. it aint like youre moving country

(Original post by Anonymous)
Nah we’ll i didn’t mean it like that, he’s actually very loving and seems to care about a relationship more than just ****ing.. I guess I meant fulfill the need of having company, rather than enduring temporary loneliness for the sake of our relationship
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999tigger
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(Original post by Anonymous)
So yeah I’m on a gap year atm and I’m planning on travelling for maybe 4-6 months, something I’ve dreamed of doing my entire life, and I had a convo with my bf of 2 years about how he feels about it.. he just bluntly says he has a choice to not stay in the relationship and it’ll be hard because he’s a needy guy.. this is understandable and I have embraced the concept of this happening, but it kind of hurt bc it seems that rather living the essence of who I am I feel as though he really just loves company and just someone to fulfill his needs basically... he’s generally been an extremely loving and very compassionate person so hearing him just come out with this. Tbf it’s not the point of him leaving which bothers me.. it’s bc I feel like I’ve had the wrong concept of how strong our love is.. He told me I’ve been the best he’s had and the longest relationship, but then he just says he wouldn’t be able to endure 4 months apart and throw away 2 years of our relationship... it doesn’t seem as set in stone as I thought. See it’s not the point of him leaving that hurts, it’s my misconception of what love really is as I’ve struggled to have it in my life.. not just from a relationship but from friends/family.. I have depression and social anxiety and generally can’t get close to any other person, so the only person I genuinely love the most and is close with and is basically the only person I have other than my parents says something like that to me... it kind of scolds me... I’ve obviously mistaken it for unconditional love... after he said this he apologised briefly and I understand he will feel lonely but I can’t let go of it... if I was The one being left behind I’d instead say I’ll miss you a lot and it’ll be difficult for me but we will see how it goes and I’ll try my best to stay
If he really loved you he would be supporting and encouraging you plus say he would just get on with life and be there when you get back.
Did you invite him?
Sounds like you arent worth 4 months.

Just talk about it and then travel with no fear or guilt. You could just split accept he was going to other relationships and see what its like when you get back, in which case go for 6. Dont get depressed about it not worth it, but talk and then be decisive making decisions.
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Anonymous #1
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Thankyou, yeahh I guess so.. facing the reality of things is harsh af, and considering I could be coming home to isolation again..

And yeah this was a solo trip for me to find a sense of self love maybe from independence, plus he’s working.
(Original post by 999tigger)
If he really loved you he would be supporting and encouraging you plus say he would just get on with life and be there when you get back.
Did you invite him?
Sounds like you arent worth 4 months.

Just talk about it and then travel with no fear or guilt. You could just split accept he was going to other relationships and see what its like when you get back, in which case go for 6. Dont get depressed about it not worth it, but talk and then be decisive making decisions.
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Rock Fan
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Well he's not a good guy if he don't stick around don't let that put you off
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mgi
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(Original post by Anonymous)
So yeah I’m on a gap year atm and I’m planning on travelling for maybe 4-6 months, something I’ve dreamed of doing my entire life, and I had a convo with my bf of 2 years about how he feels about it.. he just bluntly says he has a choice to not stay in the relationship and it’ll be hard because he’s a needy guy.. this is understandable and I have embraced the concept of this happening, but it kind of hurt bc it seems that rather living the essence of who I am I feel as though he really just loves company and just someone to fulfill his needs basically... he’s generally been an extremely loving and very compassionate person so hearing him just come out with this. Tbf it’s not the point of him leaving which bothers me.. it’s bc I feel like I’ve had the wrong concept of how strong our love is.. He told me I’ve been the best he’s had and the longest relationship, but then he just says he wouldn’t be able to endure 4 months apart and throw away 2 years of our relationship... it doesn’t seem as set in stone as I thought. See it’s not the point of him leaving that hurts, it’s my misconception of what love really is as I’ve struggled to have it in my life.. not just from a relationship but from friends/family.. I have depression and social anxiety and generally can’t get close to any other person, so the only person I genuinely love the most and is close with and is basically the only person I have other than my parents says something like that to me... it kind of scolds me... I’ve obviously mistaken it for unconditional love... after he said this he apologised briefly and I understand he will feel lonely but I can’t let go of it... if I was The one being left behind I’d instead say I’ll miss you a lot and it’ll be difficult for me but we will see how it goes and I’ll try my best to stay
No girl. Go for your dreams. Him being needy is not yiur problem. And also you will find better live somewhere else. Yoy should not stay in a relationship because you think your bf is needy or because you think you cannot find anyone else! Or because you have anxiety issues. Do you think this guy actually loves you? It does not sound like he does?,?!. What was his plan for your relationship? He has had 2 years of your time. Where is the engagement ring?
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999tigger
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Thankyou, yeahh I guess so.. facing the reality of things is harsh af, and considering I could be coming home to isolation again..

And yeah this was a solo trip for me to find a sense of self love maybe from independence, plus he’s working.
Well he might still be there.
What you do know is you will be able to get a different perspective.
What you need isnt someone else, but enough self esteem to be comfy in your own skin, then finding a partner will be a bonus not the solution.
Honestly id go for 6-12 if you have the money.
Where are you going?

https://www.google.com/search?client...+up+to+gtravel

TJ travels alone.
https://www.youtube.com/user/CupofTJ/videos

This girl has a travel channel, split with bf and is trying to carry it on. She does but its all new.

Talk to him and just be realistic, you arent that strong, respect his concerns not the limits of his support then if he is of the same mind call it. It will free you up.

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Anonymous #1
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Ahh honey Thankyou so much for bothering to answer my pathetic vent (: you’re for sure definitely right about this- it’s the reason why I’m travelling, to attempt to feel whole by myself. I’ll try to stretch it to 6 months 12 would be a dream but my ass is pretty broke ahah, but yeah I’m planning to travel from north India to Nepal (following the path buddha took lol) but anyways it’s been really helpful and you’re for sure correct about all of this
And thanks for the video
(Original post by 999tigger)
Well he might still be there.
What you do know is you will be able to get a different perspective.
What you need isnt someone else, but enough self esteem to be comfy in your own skin, then finding a partner will be a bonus not the solution.
Honestly id go for 6-12 if you have the money.
Where are you going?

https://www.google.com/search?client...+up+to+gtravel

TJ travels alone.
https://www.youtube.com/user/CupofTJ/videos

This girl has a travel channel, split with bf and is trying to carry it on. She does but its all new.

Talk to him and just be realistic, you arent that strong, respect his concerns not the limits of his support then if he is of the same mind call it. It will free you up.

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Anonymous #1
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Ah and the links they seem like they’ll definitely come in handy
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Anonymous #1
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Oops sorry wrong person lol
(Original post by Anonymous)
Ah and the links they seem like they’ll definitely come in handy
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999tigger
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Ahh honey Thankyou so much for bothering to answer my pathetic vent (: you’re for sure definitely right about this- it’s the reason why I’m travelling, to attempt to feel whole by myself. I’ll try to stretch it to 6 months 12 would be a dream but my ass is pretty broke ahah, but yeah I’m planning to travel from north India to Nepal (following the path buddha took lol) but anyways it’s been really helpful and you’re for sure correct about all of this
And thanks for the video
There are lots of other good travel channels. Lot of them are happy shiny couples. TJ is happy shiny on her own.
The other girl is interesting to see as she manages to travel on her own to Scotland and then realises she really like it, watch the vids be inspired.
I think ive pointed out the crunch points and perspectives you need to decide where you wnat ton be with the relationship, it doesnt have to be good or bad, just accept you are both on different paths.
Much better than being guilted or wondering if he is faithful. You will meet other people.

Dont forget take good insurance.
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Anonymous #1
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It’s amazing how optimistic she presents to be ahah, I’ll for sure check out the other videos they seem inspiring. And yeah I have definitely conceived a sensible outlook on how the situation may unravel.. in fact I wasn’t sure if I’d stick around because I’m clearly in need of growth and independence before getting in a relationship, I made that decision a long time ago. I guess it’s just difficult letting go of someone you love.. to quote someone on Reddit “found the right person at the wrong time” and the fact that he perhaps isn’t on the same page as me hurts..
but thanks a tonne again this burden has been eased by a lot (: and will do
(Original post by 999tigger)
There are lots of other good travel channels. Lot of them are happy shiny couples. TJ is happy shiny on her own.
The other girl is interesting to see as she manages to travel on her own to Scotland and then realises she really like it, watch the vids be inspired.
I think ive pointed out the crunch points and perspectives you need to decide where you wnat ton be with the relationship, it doesnt have to be good or bad, just accept you are both on different paths.
Much better than being guilted or wondering if he is faithful. You will meet other people.

Dont forget take good insurance.
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mgi
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Ahh honey Thankyou so much for bothering to answer my pathetic vent (: you’re for sure definitely right about this- it’s the reason why I’m travelling, to attempt to feel whole by myself. I’ll try to stretch it to 6 months 12 would be a dream but my ass is pretty broke ahah, but yeah I’m planning to travel from north India to Nepal (following the path buddha took lol) but anyways it’s been really helpful and you’re for sure correct about all of this
And thanks for the video
(Original post by Anonymous)
It’s amazing how optimistic she presents to be ahah, I’ll for sure check out the other videos they seem inspiring. And yeah I have definitely conceived a sensible outlook on how the situation may unravel.. in fact I wasn’t sure if I’d stick around because I’m clearly in need of growth and independence before getting in a relationship, I made that decision a long time ago. I guess it’s just difficult letting go of someone you love.. to quote someone on Reddit “found the right person at the wrong time” and the fact that he perhaps isn’t on the same page as me hurts..
but thanks a tonne again this burden has been eased by a lot (: and will do
And you might find that Buddhism has a lot to offer!
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MidgetFever
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I had the same issue, I wanted to go study abroad for a year and have done for a while but my partner is less than thrilled about it. Saying it would be the "end of our relationship" if I were to go.

So I left him.

If a person loved you, no matter how needy they are they would be encouraging you to live out your dreams and go for it. I honestly felt this guy was holding me back from something amazing, and we did have a wonderful relationship at the time. Go see the world!
Last edited by MidgetFever; 1 week ago
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diggingdan
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Or why not be original and not do a garrrp yaaarrr, to find yourself or what ever ******** idea you’ve been fed, get a job?
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Anonymous #2
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Or why not be original and not do a garrrp yaaarrr, to find yourself or what ever ******** idea you’ve been fed, get a job?
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