What it is very depressing Watch

Jmonay
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I honestly feel bad about myself I was so angry at what someone said to me . Now that I think about they are trying to help . Even though there was words was harsh and we need that at times ..I do suffer from depression some may not realize . Anyway the person that said this was the person I catfished the person knows the truth about me for over a year now . The person know I’m currently not working and he said are you filling out applications . I said no . He said what are you really doing with urself do you want to stay behind and he compared me to the girl pics I used to use . He said look at her she’s pursing her dreams and she has a mentor and she puts her self out there . They got me upset because why compare to her I told him don’t mention the girl to me . Then I said you don’t know what I do personally I don’t have to tell you then it lead into a argument. I started over thinking the whole day I really wasted my time letting fear hold me down and not doing what I have to do . Instead I been idle started catfishing since I was a teen in 2014 up until now . I was never happy being myself because of many different things. I used to compare myself Alot to others wishing I was them . Pretending to be someone else online to gain attention to feel better about myself . That didn’t work it only made me addicted and became more of a liar keeping up with lies . Now that I only catfish one person it still doesn’t make things better .. it’s like I’m stuck I’m boxed in it’s a depressing feeling .. I could have been like this or that . I always question myself why am I like this .. I can’t figure it out I know I will change and accept my self one day .
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Skeletonclique21
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im sorry you feel this way. have you ever thought about reaching out for help? they can show you more healthy ways to manage and cope with your depression? x
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Jmonay
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Skeletonclique21 I was in therapy last year for about three months they let me go because they handle people that are going through deep mental issues that’s what I was told from the therapist . She tried to refer me to go somewhere else I didn’t go cause I feel like I’m starting back at square one .
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Pathway
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(Original post by Jmonay)
Skeletonclique21 I was in therapy last year for about three months they let me go because they handle people that are going through deep mental issues that’s what I was told from the therapist . She tried to refer me to go somewhere else I didn’t go cause I feel like I’m starting back at square one .
Might be worth asking again for a referral to higher level care. You have to start somewhere, putting it off won't help you.
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Skeletonclique21
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ugh i know what you mean, i think it's awful that these services work like that. depending on how old you are, childline do a 1-2-1 online on demand messaging counselling thing. if you go on their website, it should be there
(Original post by Jmonay)
Skeletonclique21 I was in therapy last year for about three months they let me go because they handle people that are going through deep mental issues that’s what I was told from the therapist . She tried to refer me to go somewhere else I didn’t go cause I feel like I’m starting back at square one .
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Jmonay
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Pathway so your saying I should go to therapy again ? Its hard to find real help the only way they’ll truly help anyone now is if they want hurt some one or their self smh ..
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Jmonay
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Skeletonclique21 yup it really is awful you have no one to really turn to .. Im not a teenager anymore I’m 22 now so I don’t think childline would counsel me ..
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Skeletonclique21
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no i don;t think they would sadly, i think they only cover up to 19. maybe an alternative site?
(Original post by Jmonay)
Skeletonclique21 yup it really is awful you have no one to really turn to .. Im not a teenager anymore I’m 22 now so I don’t think childline would counsel me ..
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Pathway
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(Original post by Jmonay)
Pathway so your saying I should go to therapy again ? Its hard to find real help the only way they’ll truly help anyone now is if they want hurt some one or their self smh ..
Yeah. But you have to be willing to change. I say this with respect, because I understand MH issues are difficult to manage and changing is hard, but you need to want to change and do things differently. If you don't want this it won't work. Being open to change is important for you to move forward. They do help people who aren't at risk of self harm, suicide or harming others. You do need to ask for help though. They won't know if you don't ask for help.

The people who were giving you therapy last year should've referred you on if your case was too complex for them to manage. Did they do that? Is it possible to ask your GP for a referral to a higher level of care?
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Jmonay
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@Pathway yea I get what your say and your on point it’s hard for me to make changes due to being fear about it . Now I want to make changes and instead of being stuck or what many say to me “oh that’s just an excuse your too comfortable and lazy “.. the place i went to was called transitional services for people that are very mental she said my problem would be better taking some where else . She referred me to another place and I never went cause I didn’t want to start over again
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Pathway
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(Original post by Jmonay)
@Pathway yea I get what your say and your on point it’s hard for me to make changes due to being fear about it . Now I want to make changes and instead of being stuck or what many say to me “oh that’s just an excuse your too comfortable and lazy “.. the place i went to was called transitional services for people that are very mental she said my problem would be better taking some where else . She referred me to another place and I never went cause I didn’t want to start over again
I understand not wanting to start again, but now that you're ready to make changes, it would be worth going back to your GP in my opinion. Explain to them that you now want help.
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Jmonay
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Skeletonclique21 do you know of any other sites ?
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Skeletonclique21
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i think 7 cups, apps like headspace and stuff. i'm not sure if they are all free, but i would have a look online and research them a bit and find what works for you. in cases of emergencies, there are always hotlines. samaritans is a uk organisation. i really hope you find something that suits your needs. don't be afraid to try different sites and hotlines until you find the one that makes you feel most comfortable
(Original post by Jmonay)
Skeletonclique21 do you know of any other sites ?
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