Family not understanding me. Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 5 days ago
#1
I'm a Muslim. I do not want to marry because I cannot marry a man knowing that I have no interest. But nobody understands this.
I'm told I'm going to be taken to religious gatherings in order to have 'some common sense knocked into me'.
I am a religious person and I know I cannot get into a relationship with the same sex this is why I do not want to marry a man either because it will not be fair on him.
There is no doubt that my parents are doing what is best for me and wanting me to marry. And I blame myself because I fail to see things from their perspective.!!!

I cannot leave home or anything because I am extremely sensitive and cannot do that. Also my family would never accept me back if I left and neither would anyone else so I would be in a much worser position.
I really do not know what to do
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Chocatoo
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#2
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I’m really sorry to hear about your situation, I hope you’re hanging in there okay.

First of all, it’s not your fault you don’t want to get married, or get married to a man. It is your life and your choice at the end of the day, even if it doesn’t feel like it is. You are the one who has to take the vows and live with that person every day, it makes sense that it’s with someone you want to be with. Your parents are absolutely doing what they believe is right but this may not be what is right for you, so hopefully some communication may be able to help you convey how you feel.

I have a friend who has been in a similar position (although with arranged marriages than same sex relationships), as her parents are still very traditionally Sri Lankan but she is more culturally English when it comes to relationships. She has been successful by sitting down and talking to her parents but she was also referred to the pastoral staff in our school when things were looking like she might have a marriage arranged, but she’s interested in marriage right now and didn’t like the person. I would seriously recommend finding someone professional you can talk to (at school, work, local councillor, GP) who can help potentially mediate a conversation between you and your parents if you choose to convey that you really don’t want to get married... this might really help them to acknowledge or accept your point of view. If this doesn’t happen and you feel like you’re not being listened to or not being accepted, then a professional can help you look at other avenues like coping with said marriage, etc.

It will probably take a bit of time (all the important things do) but you know your parents are trying to do what’s best for you because they love you. At the end of the day they might come around to your argument because they love you and they want you to be happy.

Best of luck with it all 😄
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Anonymous #2
#3
Report 5 days ago
#3
r u lesbian
(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm a Muslim. I do not want to marry because I cannot marry a man knowing that I have no interest. But nobody understands this.
I'm told I'm going to be taken to religious gatherings in order to have 'some common sense knocked into me'.
I am a religious person and I know I cannot get into a relationship with the same sex this is why I do not want to marry a man either because it will not be fair on him.
There is no doubt that my parents are doing what is best for me and wanting me to marry. And I blame myself because I fail to see things from their perspective.!!!

I cannot leave home or anything because I am extremely sensitive and cannot do that. Also my family would never accept me back if I left and neither would anyone else so I would be in a much worser position.
I really do not know what to do
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mgi
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#4
Report 4 days ago
#4
(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm a Muslim. I do not want to marry because I cannot marry a man knowing that I have no interest. But nobody understands this.
I'm told I'm going to be taken to religious gatherings in order to have 'some common sense knocked into me'.
I am a religious person and I know I cannot get into a relationship with the same sex this is why I do not want to marry a man either because it will not be fair on him.
There is no doubt that my parents are doing what is best for me and wanting me to marry. And I blame myself because I fail to see things from their perspective.!!!

I cannot leave home or anything because I am extremely sensitive and cannot do that. Also my family would never accept me back if I left and neither would anyone else so I would be in a much worser position.
I really do not know what to do
Just be patient until you get mature enough to leave home . If you are gay then you should get some support from gay support groups.
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