I hate kissing? Watch

SillyFish
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So I've kissed like 3 different people in my life, all in quite different circumstances - the first was really dodgy as he was 14 & I was 12, I didn't think much of it at the time although it grosses me out now. I think I liked that I had some experience, but it wasn't all that really.

The second was with my boyfriend who I loved, and I thought I wanted to kiss him but in the end I found it really intrusive and uncomfortable, even though I was attracted to him.

The third was after me saying I didn't like kissing much, but he kissed me anyway which was really disrespectful of him tbh. It just added to a growing list of bad kissing experiences since it wasn't consensual.

I didn't kiss my first boyfriend but I remember wanting to, although I didn't know what it would be like.

I used to think maybe I was bisexual as I feel similar to girls as I do to boys in terms of sexual attraction, although I tend to be romantically inclined to boys. I'm pretty okay with my sexuality so I don't think I'm a surpressed lesbian either!

I'm still exploring whether I may be asexual but I was wondering who else may feel like this, especially at age 16? Or is there anyone who used to hate it and then changed their mind? Is it really supposed to feel that good?!

I don't think it's because of my experience or age - lots of people enjoy a random snog, no strings attached - but I can't even kiss people I love!
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anonymous1231231
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I know you’re saying you’re quite sure you’re straight, but it seems you don’t like kissing boys. If you’ve had somewhat of an interest in girls, perhaps exploring that would clear things up. Or, you’ve had three bad experiences, although you not feeling any desire to kiss your boyfriend does seem to support the first point.
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Findingfayy
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Hi! Hope you're well. Honestly, i don't think kissing is amazing, I enjoy it but I get bored of it, I'm probably just not that good haha. There are still plenty of sexual activities you can enjoy though without kissing, but it doesn't sound like you've gone down there yet which is fine. If you've never kissed a girl before you might wanna try it, obviously it's not as easy as just grabbing a girl and kissing her, but if you go out on the town there's usually plenty of girls who are interested or even straight girls who get drunk often tend to go around kissing girls a lot (I don't complain, makes you wonder about the potential amazing scope of suppressed bisexual women out there...) You may see you enjoy kissing girls a lot better, or you just may not like kissing at all, but I wouldn't say that makes you asexual. Don't stress it i'd say!
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SillyFish
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I wouldn't say I'm straight really... My experiences with boys has made that clear enough. Thing is when I say I feel similar with boys and girls it's because I don't care much about either of them! I am a huge supporter of the LGBTQIA+ community and would get with a girl if I wanted to, but outside of vague theoretical thought I don't think I do want to.
It's complicated, I know! Most of the time I just get on with my life with the occasional crush, no point stressing. Just curious about other people's experiences really.
(Original post by anonymous1231231)
I know you’re saying you’re quite sure you’re straight, but it seems you don’t like kissing boys. If you’ve had somewhat of an interest in girls, perhaps exploring that would clear things up. Or, you’ve had three bad experiences, although you not feeling any desire to kiss your boyfriend does seem to support the first point.
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SillyFish
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Well thanks! I know I shouldn't stress about it really, I've got plenty of relationships (platonic or asexual) ahead of me, but it's good to know there's no pressure to enjoy kissing if I don't.
I know what you mean about bisexual woman - my mum was (still is!) bisexual and I always wish she wouldn't feel so guilty about it, everyone deserves to feel comfy being with who they want.:hugs:
(Original post by Findingfayy)
Hi! Hope you're well. Honestly, i don't think kissing is amazing, I enjoy it but I get bored of it, I'm probably just not that good haha. There are still plenty of sexual activities you can enjoy though without kissing, but it doesn't sound like you've gone down there yet which is fine. If you've never kissed a girl before you might wanna try it, obviously it's not as easy as just grabbing a girl and kissing her, but if you go out on the town there's usually plenty of girls who are interested or even straight girls who get drunk often tend to go around kissing girls a lot (I don't complain, makes you wonder about the potential amazing scope of suppressed bisexual women out there...) You may see you enjoy kissing girls a lot better, or you just may not like kissing at all, but I wouldn't say that makes you asexual. Don't stress it i'd say!
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anonymous1231231
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(Original post by SillyFish)
I wouldn't say I'm straight really... My experiences with boys has made that clear enough. Thing is when I say I feel similar with boys and girls it's because I don't care much about either of them! I am a huge supporter of the LGBTQIA+ community and would get with a girl if I wanted to, but outside of vague theoretical thought I don't think I do want to.
It's complicated, I know! Most of the time I just get on with my life with the occasional crush, no point stressing. Just curious about other people's experiences really.
Fair enough, as long as you’re open and comfortable with it all. Good luck with everything, and don’t worry if you do, things will work out and you’ll figure stuff out.
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MagnumKoishi
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(Original post by SillyFish)
he was 14 & I was 12, I didn't think much of it at the time although it grosses me out now.
If a 2 year age gap is grossing you out then perhaps you shouldn't be bothering with relationships quite yet honestly. It's probably below the average gap for long term relationships
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Scotney
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I just think you have not had enough practice.Plus they all were very young and probably didn't know what they were doing.I wouldn't give up on kissing for a few years yet!
(Original post by SillyFish)
So I've kissed like 3 different people in my life, all in quite different circumstances - the first was really dodgy as he was 14 & I was 12, I didn't think much of it at the time although it grosses me out now. I think I liked that I had some experience, but it wasn't all that really.

The second was with my boyfriend who I loved, and I thought I wanted to kiss him but in the end I found it really intrusive and uncomfortable, even though I was attracted to him.

The third was after me saying I didn't like kissing much, but he kissed me anyway which was really disrespectful of him tbh. It just added to a growing list of bad kissing experiences since it wasn't consensual.

I didn't kiss my first boyfriend but I remember wanting to, although I didn't know what it would be like.

I used to think maybe I was bisexual as I feel similar to girls as I do to boys in terms of sexual attraction, although I tend to be romantically inclined to boys. I'm pretty okay with my sexuality so I don't think I'm a surpressed lesbian either!

I'm still exploring whether I may be asexual but I was wondering who else may feel like this, especially at age 16? Or is there anyone who used to hate it and then changed their mind? Is it really supposed to feel that good?!

I don't think it's because of my experience or age - lots of people enjoy a random snog, no strings attached - but I can't even kiss people I love!
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CHANELDIAMONDS
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kissing is amazing. my first kiss was a wall.
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mgi
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(Original post by SillyFish)
So I've kissed like 3 different people in my life, all in quite different circumstances - the first was really dodgy as he was 14 & I was 12, I didn't think much of it at the time although it grosses me out now. I think I liked that I had some experience, but it wasn't all that really.

The second was with my boyfriend who I loved, and I thought I wanted to kiss him but in the end I found it really intrusive and uncomfortable, even though I was attracted to him.

The third was after me saying I didn't like kissing much, but he kissed me anyway which was really disrespectful of him tbh. It just added to a growing list of bad kissing experiences since it wasn't consensual.

I didn't kiss my first boyfriend but I remember wanting to, although I didn't know what it would be like.

I used to think maybe I was bisexual as I feel similar to girls as I do to boys in terms of sexual attraction, although I tend to be romantically inclined to boys. I'm pretty okay with my sexuality so I don't think I'm a surpressed lesbian either!

I'm still exploring whether I may be asexual but I was wondering who else may feel like this, especially at age 16? Or is there anyone who used to hate it and then changed their mind? Is it really supposed to feel that good?!

I don't think it's because of my experience or age - lots of people enjoy a random snog, no strings attached - but I can't even kiss people I love!
Probably because you are not yet mature enough to sort out how to have a relationship.
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SillyFish
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It was more than that though - I could handle a 2 year age gap now but at that age there's more difference, plus he kind of pestered and harassed me into going out with him and I didn't know how to say no. He was very clingy and when I had the guts to end it he was furious. At that age I felt like this kind of attention was just something I had to put up with, but it was a but dodgy.
(Original post by MagnumKoishi)
If a 2 year age gap is grossing you out then perhaps you shouldn't be bothering with relationships quite yet honestly. It's probably below the average gap for long term relationships
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SillyFish
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Perhaps - I'm not giving up on dating entirely yet!:curious:
(Original post by mgi)
Probably because you are not yet mature enough to sort out how to have a relationship.
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keptinside
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That doesn’t make any point that you are asexual. Some people dislike specific things. It’s by nature. Anyway, if you dislike it, try to tell your partner about it. He should respect your opinion.

Some people develop the same feeling for hugs. So it’s quite normal if you dislike a specific thing.
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mgi
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(Original post by SillyFish)
Perhaps - I'm not giving up on dating entirely yet!:curious:
True. No you should not give up on dating!
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SillyFish
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You might be right - I've never really gone beyond kissing so it may be something I enjoy, or something I don't... That's why I'm hesitant to call myself asexual right now, although thinking about me having sex does gross me out (that being said, I do masturbate sometimes). I'll have to see!
(Original post by keptinside)
That doesn’t make any point that you are asexual. Some people dislike specific things. It’s by nature. Anyway, if you dislike it, try to tell your partner about it. He should respect your opinion.

Some people develop the same feeling for hugs. So it’s quite normal if you dislike a specific thing.
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keptinside
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(Original post by SillyFish)
You might be right - I've never really gone beyond kissing so it may be something I enjoy, or something I don't... That's why I'm hesitant to call myself asexual right now, although thinking about me having sex does gross me out (that being said, I do masturbate sometimes). I'll have to see!
It’s quite different. You’re not disgusted of these things. You’re just disgusted of everyone around you. It’s normal but you gonna fix it anyway when you’re into a relationship; because once you’re in a relationship, you give away some of your personal space or maybe all.

Maybe you’re feeling this way; because you don’t really like that person, or any other of the past ones.

It’s mainly spread that many people dislike hugs and kisses from random people or people that aren’t categorised as close ones. But it’s common that you break this feeling, when it’s someone you’re close to, or someone you’re in love with and attracted to him.

You are worried and nervous. But it’s normal. Guess it’s a matter of time, you still can put everything on the track.

GL
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Anonymous #1
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Maybe they have all been sh*t kissers?
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