I felt weird about my nightlife experience Watch

Anonymous #1
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I have lived in London my whole life. I am a Muslim girl, I stayed out late tonight which probably isn't even late for most people (until about 1 am) and saw all the drunks and party goers. My friend who isn't a visible Muslim and who is outgoing/travels quite a bit was getting chatted up by some white guy, and I just felt really weird and awkward and actually scared. I just felt so indangered in my hijab and islamic clothing. Like I was in the wrong place. Can anyone relate to my feelings of anxiety and also, seeing as I am moving away from home for university and want to experience nightlife but enjoy it, do you have any advice? Thanks a bunch
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Suley143
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Salaams sister.

What you felt and experienced was spiritual agitation. Take this seriously. You felt uneasy because your soul could feel the dark forces were at full work.

I would advise you to hang out in public family places like desert lounges, restaurants, coffee shops or cinemas - you should limit this to once or twice a week only so your can focus on your studies. Avoid any alcoholic haram places.
Last edited by Suley143; 6 days ago
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Suley143)
Salaams sister.

What you felt and experienced was spiritual agitation. Take this seriously. You felt uneasy because your soul could feel the dark forces were at full work.

Are you a practising muslim or do you wear the hijab like for fashion?? Be honest.
Wa salam. Thank you so much for replying.

I am a practicing Muslim alhamdulilah. I definitely do not wear it for fashion. Subhanallah that sounds serious. A spiritual agitation? Wow. I felt soo out of place and anxious inside. Genuinely never felt like that before.
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Anonymous #2
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You have just experienced a normal feeling of apprehension when trying out something for the first time.It is understandable you felt a bit nervous but the more you do this sort of stuff the more natural it will feel.At least have an open mind about going out when you go to uni and if you really think after a while its not for you then okay.My daughter is white and not particularly religious but hates clubbing so I would not be too quick to pigeonhole yourself.
(Original post by Anonymous)
Wa salam. Thank you so much for replying.

I am a practicing Muslim alhamdulilah. I definitely do not wear it for fashion. Subhanallah that sounds serious. A spiritual agitation? Wow. I felt soo out of place and anxious inside. Genuinely never felt like that before.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
You have just experienced a normal feeling of apprehension when trying out something for the first time.It is understandable you felt a bit nervous but the more you do this sort of stuff the more natural it will feel.At least have an open mind about going out when you go to uni and if you really think after a while its not for you then okay.My daughter is white and not particularly religious but hates clubbing so I would not be too quick to pigeonhole yourself.
Hey there, thanks so much for the response. What you're saying sounds quite logical to me, I want to have an open mind trust me, I do not really plan on being a hermit and staying at home. Sounds interesting that you're saying other ethnicities can feel the same way, I thought it was solely due to my religon and background
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Anonymous #2
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No probs happy to help.
(Original post by Anonymous)
Hey there, thanks so much for the response. What you're saying sounds quite logical to me, I want to have an open mind trust me, I do not really plan on being a hermit and staying at home. Sounds interesting that you're saying other ethnicities can feel the same way, I thought it was solely due to my religon and background
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JunJun08
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I have lived in London my whole life. I am a Muslim girl, I stayed out late tonight which probably isn't even late for most people (until about 1 am) and saw all the drunks and party goers. My friend who isn't a visible Muslim and who is outgoing/travels quite a bit was getting chatted up by some white guy, and I just felt really weird and awkward and actually scared. I just felt so indangered in my hijab and islamic clothing. Like I was in the wrong place. Can anyone relate to my feelings of anxiety and also, seeing as I am moving away from home for university and want to experience nightlife but enjoy it, do you have any advice? Thanks a bunch
Hi, I don't practise but I grew up with a Muslim family and almost mirror your feelings!.

What you're feeling is normal, if you do not like that aspect of night life, stay away from it. University nowadays, unfortunately, consists of a culture centred around alcohol, clubbing and partying. Not everyone likes this of course! You are experiencing discomfort and this is fine.

This is rare, but normal, and there are plenty of other ways you can enjoy nightlife as follows:
-Night walks with friends (You can do this in the city too, it can be quite fun)
-Public places, eating out/shopping after the evening
-Parties or festivals that isn't flooded with alcohol or clubbing (although there will be alcohol, it will be completely different than the crazy drunk stuff you've seen)
-Going to the cinema late at night
-Parties at friend's houses (who hold similar attitudes as you) that are fun and not rampant with alcohol or promiscuity.

Ultimately, you will have to find friends who are similar to you - and they *do* exist. There are many people who you will meet at university who don't drink or aren't a fan of clubbing - and you will find that you can have many meaningful experiences with them and have fun at the same time. It will be harder to find such people, but they are there. You can join societies to meet likeminded people, or start a conversation with someone who you notice doesn't go out with all the others at night to part. You can also ask people like that to study together and form a group like that.

Many universities contain Islamic societies where you can also meet fellow Muslims - practising and strengthening your faith whilst meeting likeminded people.

Hope this helped!
Last edited by JunJun08; 5 days ago
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verycoolperson
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It is normal for a Muslim to feel out of place, "having fun at night" and "nightlife" is not something for Muslims, most the things that happen during night time is bad and you should try to stay away from it
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AllezTheReds
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(Original post by verycoolperson)
It is normal for a Muslim to feel out of place, "having fun at night" and "nightlife" is not something for Muslims, most the things that happen during night time is bad and you should try to stay away from it
You sound like a 80 year old lady, you can have fun at night without doing bad things
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verycoolperson
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(Original post by AllezTheReds)
You sound like a 80 year old lady, you can have fun at night without doing bad things
sure anyone can have fun without doing bad things, but if you are not Muslim then you and Muslims differ over what is considered good and bad
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mgi
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Wa salam. Thank you so much for replying.

I am a practicing Muslim alhamdulilah. I definitely do not wear it for fashion. Subhanallah that sounds serious. A spiritual agitation? Wow. I felt soo out of place and anxious inside. Genuinely never felt like that before.
Its because you are growing up and joining the unsheltered real world and finding your own feet! It has mothing to do with religion. Atheists who leave home for uni often have the same feelings as you!
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Surnia
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I have lived in London my whole life. I am a Muslim girl, I stayed out late tonight which probably isn't even late for most people (until about 1 am) and saw all the drunks and party goers. My friend who isn't a visible Muslim and who is outgoing/travels quite a bit was getting chatted up by some white guy, and I just felt really weird and awkward and actually scared. I just felt so indangered in my hijab and islamic clothing. Like I was in the wrong place. Can anyone relate to my feelings of anxiety and also, seeing as I am moving away from home for university and want to experience nightlife but enjoy it, do you have any advice? Thanks a bunch
It can be intimidating for anyone to experience crowds where people are shouting, wandering around, bumping into you and generally a bit out of control. I'm an adult, I go to watch football matches, I go out at night and am still wary when shoving and shouting starts! Even when it seems good-natured, I am cautious in case it escalates.

As JunJun08 says, there are places you can go and still enjoy yourself. However, you'll never completely avoid the rowdy people who will be out on the streets. Hey, there'll be drunks and party-goers on campus who could be loud and obnoxious. Just pick your locations and choose your friends as people who will stick with you on a night out and go out to enjoy a meal, a dance and each other's company rather than going off and leaving you alone. Doesn't mean they can't enjoy a bit of attention from elsewhere, but you know they'll come back to you. Honestly, I used to feel awkward standing in a nightclub looking after mates' drinks and handbags while they were off dancing or being chatted up, but we'd always get back together and watch out for each other and share taxis home.

Good for you for wanting to get the wider experience of being at uni. You'll grow in confidence and find your own level and learn to cope with new and daunting situations. All the best! :grouphugs:
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