Relationship advice Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
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#1
So I’ve been seeing this guy for three years I’ve know him for four years. We started out dating but ended up being FWB. As friends I told him I loved him and he said he loved me back but as dating I told him the same and he said it was too soon. We usually get back together whenever he’s back in town. He’s a good guy but he refuses to commit to me and it’s starting to hurt my heart. Since February he told me he was moving out of the dorms and was getting his own apartment leaving the possibility of me moving in and finally moving away like I’ve been talking to him about for years as something I’ve really been dreaming about. Well at first I was hesitant about it and wasn’t sure my family would approve.. fast track now I told him I had my mother’s consent and the first thing he has to say is, “well how would you feel if I brought girls home from parties?” Mind you he helped me move out of my previous living situation and was constantly asking me every few days what my moving plans were and if I was going to find a roommate. I don’t know I feel as if I love him but I’m conflicted because I was honestly preparing for this big move but now I just feel hurt and disrespected. I wouldn’t want to move nine hours away from my family to be stuck in a living arrangement with this guy who I’ll be half supporting and have him act like he cares and wants to have sex with me but then is bringing home girls from parties?? I’m lowkey pissed. And I told him it was rude and disrespectful for him to bring something like that up after all this time and then he says “well I don’t want a roommate and neither of us will have to worry about it because we won’t be living together because I knew you’d be upset if I brought it up” and then tries to whine to me that it would happen rarely. I’m really hurt I don’t know why you would go through the trouble of discussing expenses and moving truck rentals just to say all of this the next day.. I don’t really know where to go from here.
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anosmianAcrimony
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#2
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Just get rid of him. All he wants is a sex object
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Airmed
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#3
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Don't move in with him.

He clearly does not want a relationship with you and if you move in, you're setting yourself up for heartbreak. Tbh, I would stop being FWB with him completely. It all sounds very messy and I think you need to get over him completely.
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Farhan.Hanif93
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#4
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(Original post by Anonymous)
So I’ve been seeing this guy for three years I’ve know him for four years. We started out dating but ended up being FWB. As friends I told him I loved him and he said he loved me back but as dating I told him the same and he said it was too soon. We usually get back together whenever he’s back in town. He’s a good guy but he refuses to commit to me and it’s starting to hurt my heart. Since February he told me he was moving out of the dorms and was getting his own apartment leaving the possibility of me moving in and finally moving away like I’ve been talking to him about for years as something I’ve really been dreaming about. Well at first I was hesitant about it and wasn’t sure my family would approve.. fast track now I told him I had my mother’s consent and the first thing he has to say is, “well how would you feel if I brought girls home from parties?” Mind you he helped me move out of my previous living situation and was constantly asking me every few days what my moving plans were and if I was going to find a roommate. I don’t know I feel as if I love him but I’m conflicted because I was honestly preparing for this big move but now I just feel hurt and disrespected. I wouldn’t want to move nine hours away from my family to be stuck in a living arrangement with this guy who I’ll be half supporting and have him act like he cares and wants to have sex with me but then is bringing home girls from parties?? I’m lowkey pissed. And I told him it was rude and disrespectful for him to bring something like that up after all this time and then he says “well I don’t want a roommate and neither of us will have to worry about it because we won’t be living together because I knew you’d be upset if I brought it up” and then tries to whine to me that it would happen rarely. I’m really hurt I don’t know why you would go through the trouble of discussing expenses and moving truck rentals just to say all of this the next day.. I don’t really know where to go from here.
Goodness, do you really need advice on this? The correct course of action is so obvious that I'm not even sure the words are necessary.

Getting rid is non-negotiable, but that alone won't solve the underlying issues. You need to have a long hard look at how to make much, much better choices and decisions along with addressing the total lack of self-esteem that has dragged you into this mess in the first place. Good luck.
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Xarao
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(Original post by Farhan.Hanif93)
Goodness, do you really need advice on this? The correct course of action is so obvious that I'm not even sure the words are necessary.

Getting rid is non-negotiable, but that alone won't solve the underlying issues. You need to have a long hard look at how to make much, much better choices and decisions along with addressing the total lack of self-esteem that has dragged you into this mess in the first place. Good luck.
This.

Just use a bit of common sense OP.
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mgi
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(Original post by Anonymous)
So I’ve been seeing this guy for three years I’ve know him for four years. We started out dating but ended up being FWB. As friends I told him I loved him and he said he loved me back but as dating I told him the same and he said it was too soon. We usually get back together whenever he’s back in town. He’s a good guy but he refuses to commit to me and it’s starting to hurt my heart. Since February he told me he was moving out of the dorms and was getting his own apartment leaving the possibility of me moving in and finally moving away like I’ve been talking to him about for years as something I’ve really been dreaming about. Well at first I was hesitant about it and wasn’t sure my family would approve.. fast track now I told him I had my mother’s consent and the first thing he has to say is, “well how would you feel if I brought girls home from parties?” Mind you he helped me move out of my previous living situation and was constantly asking me every few days what my moving plans were and if I was going to find a roommate. I don’t know I feel as if I love him but I’m conflicted because I was honestly preparing for this big move but now I just feel hurt and disrespected. I wouldn’t want to move nine hours away from my family to be stuck in a living arrangement with this guy who I’ll be half supporting and have him act like he cares and wants to have sex with me but then is bringing home girls from parties?? I’m lowkey pissed. And I told him it was rude and disrespectful for him to bring something like that up after all this time and then he says “well I don’t want a roommate and neither of us will have to worry about it because we won’t be living together because I knew you’d be upset if I brought it up” and then tries to whine to me that it would happen rarely. I’m really hurt I don’t know why you would go through the trouble of discussing expenses and moving truck rentals just to say all of this the next day.. I don’t really know where to go from here.
Yes. But you started off by showing the guy that you were mainly interested in FWB sex! Then you decided that you loved him and that he should love you back and now commit to loving longterm relationship. But this is not how the dating game works for females! You have to be very clear at the start what you actually really want from a relationship. If it is FWB them the guy understands that you want random sex with no commitment. So he understands that your p..sy is what is most important and freely available-not commitment! If you want commitment then you dont lead out with your vag. to be honest. What you do is form a dating friendship with any early sex and make sure the guy does not get to see or touch anything that is normally covered by your underwear! This gives you time to assess the character and possible suitability of the guy for a long term commitmemt. Then you csn decide whether to continue or dump him instead of wasting your time with him when all he basically wants is sex without commitment! He has, for example, made it clear that he wants casual sex with various girls including you- but no commitment!
Last edited by mgi; 1 week ago
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by mgi)
Yes. But you started off by showing the guy that you were mainly interested in FWB sex! Then you decided that you loved him and that he should love you back and now commit to loving longterm relationship. But this is not how the dating game works for females! You have to be very clear at the start what you actually really want from a relationship. If it is FWB them the guy understands that you want random sex with no commitment. So he understands that your p..sy is what is most important and freely available-not commitment! If you want commitment then you dont lead out with your vag. to be honest. What you do is form a dating friendship with any early sex and make sure the guy does not get to see or touch anything that is normally covered by your underwear! This gives you time to assess the character and possible suitability of the guy for a long term commitmemt. Then you csn decide whether to continue or dump him instead of wasting your time with him when all he basically wants is sex without commitment! He has, for example, made it clear that he wants casual sex with various girls including you- but no commitment!
Yeah, I’m just sad because I feel like it’s the end
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Anonymous #1
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I know. I knew what I was getting myself into I’m just upset that it isn’t working out but I let him eat the cake so
(Original post by Xarao)
This.

Just use a bit of common sense OP.
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mgi
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#9
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Yeah, I’m just sad because I feel like it’s the end
Yes,unfortunately it probably is , because he is not about the dating long term relationship thing,- just the sex- which is the FWB you mentioned. See what you can learn from the experience and don't be hard on yourself!
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