I don't trust men at all. Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 6 days ago
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During my childhood, I saw my father cheat multiple times on my mother with several different women. That greatly affected me as a teenager and now as an adult. I already had a mistrust with men but gave a guy a chance thinking maybe things would be different for me. I got cheated on twice in my past relationship over a year ago, which has cemented in me this mistrust with men. If a guy compliments me I automatically say they're lying. If a guy is interested in me, I immediately think that they're trying to play me and I won't fall into that trap because I'm not stupid. I don't believe in love. I hate it. Sometimes I want to over come these feelings but a few seconds later, I go back to the same mind set and forget about it. Has anyone felt this before?
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Delusion6
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what does it matter? only people who live for a mans approval over-think this too much. focus on your own life. become independent and successful. don't let love be a priority. don't let a man be something you cling onto, instead just let him be a wonderful addition to you life. if he compliments you just say thanks, you don't have to take his words too deeply. imagine if it was a guy you were not remotely attracted to, you wouldn't care at all about what he thought right therefore if he complimented you you wouldn't overthink whether he meant it or not, you'd just say thanks and move on. well behave that way to all compliments from now on. whether they are sincere or not, just say thanks and accept it. if a guy comes into your life, enjoy it for what it is. if its fun enjoy the fun. if its sweet, enjoy it. if he wants to do stuff for you then enjoy those perks. if he cheats just break up with him and move on. life is waaaaaaaaaay too short to think about the 'what ifs'. have fun and just deal with the consequences if something bad were to happen. alternatively you can just have an open relationship with a guy, that way you will already know he is cheating. and not care because you will be allowed to cheat too.
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Burge91
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hi, i can offer a solution that will stop any boyfriend ever cheating on you.
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Oxford Mum
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Delusion6 has an excellent answer here. I have had bad experiences with men, but have many friends and colleagues who make excellent partners. You have just been unlucky and they have a problem, not you. Just have fun with your friends, or at school/ work. Take those compliments with a beautiful smile and you never know, it may lead to something fantastic
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mgi
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(Original post by Anonymous)
During my childhood, I saw my father cheat multiple times on my mother with several different women. That greatly affected me as a teenager and now as an adult. I already had a mistrust with men but gave a guy a chance thinking maybe things would be different for me. I got cheated on twice in my past relationship over a year ago, which has cemented in me this mistrust with men. If a guy compliments me I automatically say they're lying. If a guy is interested in me, I immediately think that they're trying to play me and I won't fall into that trap because I'm not stupid. I don't believe in love. I hate it. Sometimes I want to over come these feelings but a few seconds later, I go back to the same mind set and forget about it. Has anyone felt this before?
But actually the real issue is your attitude towards yourself. You have not finished working on yourself and your issues. Think sbout it: how could it possibly be true that all men canmot be trusted. You decided to have this blanket belief because you found or saw some men who are cheats. But suppose, for example, that the issues could be your insecurities and possibly that you have no clue about how the dating game actually works amd so you most likely to end up with dishonest guys? And you can't take compliments because every guy is lying?? Really?
Last edited by mgi; 6 days ago
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random_matt
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Waiting for the I do not trust women thread.
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mgi
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(Original post by random_matt)
Waiting for the I do not trust women thread.
Or the 'why am i so insecure and why does one person's experience prove that the whole world is bad ',threads! lol.
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Xarao
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Ah threads like this make me laugh.

Okay, judge the whole men population based on a couple of guys, smart lad.
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YaliaV
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I had terrible role models growing up. I used to be attracted to damaged men because I didn’t value myself. The warning signs are usually there.

I think you should work on your own self-esteem and sense of self. Find out who you are before you rush into another relationship. The narrative seems to be set in stone, but it isn’t. You can change your story.
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Oxford Mum
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YaliaV :adore:
(Original post by YaliaV)
I had terrible role models growing up. I used to be attracted to damaged men because I didn’t value myself. The warning signs are usually there.

I think you should work on your own self-esteem and sense of self. Find out who you are before you rush into another relationship. The narrative seems to be set in stone, but it isn’t. You can change your story.
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Calmcalmcalmmm
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(Original post by Anonymous)
During my childhood, I saw my father cheat multiple times on my mother with several different women. That greatly affected me as a teenager and now as an adult. I already had a mistrust with men but gave a guy a chance thinking maybe things would be different for me. I got cheated on twice in my past relationship over a year ago, which has cemented in me this mistrust with men. If a guy compliments me I automatically say they're lying. If a guy is interested in me, I immediately think that they're trying to play me and I won't fall into that trap because I'm not stupid. I don't believe in love. I hate it. Sometimes I want to over come these feelings but a few seconds later, I go back to the same mind set and forget about it. Has anyone felt this before?
Most guys are idiots during your young age. Many girls aswell. Lots of people are stupid during your young ages. Dont let them give you a set mindset on what a certain group of people are like. There are good people out there.
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YaliaV
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(Original post by Oxford Mum)
YaliaV :adore:
Haha thank you! That means a lot coming from you.
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Anonymous #2
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See a psychiatrist. Or a doctor, and seek medication. Or preferably, both.
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Oxford Mum
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Why? Because OP has had experience of a few untrustworthy men? Isn't that extreme? If we needed psychiatric help every time a dodgy bloke pulled a trick on us, the psychiatrists would have to increase their waiting rooms by a factor of about 100.
(Original post by Anonymous)
See a psychiatrist. Or a doctor, and seek medication. Or preferably, both.
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Anonymous #1
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Thank you for this! I don't like to feel like I'm crazy simply because I mistrust men due to what people have done to me in the past. I'm sure many people feel the same way. We don't ask to feel this way, simply the cards we have been dealt with have brought us to this. I don't believe I'm at fault for people hurting me this way but I can definitely changed it and not let it stop me from trusting another person.
(Original post by Oxford Mum)
Why? Because OP has had experience of a few untrustworthy men? Isn't that extreme? If we needed psychiatric help every time a dodgy bloke pulled a trick on us, the psychiatrists would have to increase their waiting rooms by a factor of about 100.
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mgi
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Thank you for this! I don't like to feel like I'm crazy simply because I mistrust men due to what people have done to me in the past. I'm sure many people feel the same way. We don't ask to feel this way, simply the cards we have been dealt with have brought us to this. I don't believe I'm at fault for people hurting me this way but I can definitely changed it and not let it stop me from trusting another person.
Yes becsuse everyone is different and not everyone is mean!
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CHANELDIAMONDS
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I’m intimidated by them. Because of experiences. Hated them at one point
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mgi
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(Original post by CHANELDIAMONDS)
I’m intimidated by them. Because of experiences. Hated them at one point
You must try not to be intimidated by them otherwise it will affect your life in a negative way.
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CHANELDIAMONDS
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(Original post by mgi)
You must try not to be intimidated by them otherwise it will affect your life in a negative way.
Yeah i do try but then again i don’t care
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rcmotorboy
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Well, if those were the topic creators experiences growing up and that's how she feels, fine. I can't or anyone can't change anyone's experiences when growing up to affect their opinion or making it more challenging for their own protection. So long as it doesn't get in the way of work or career wise, then that's okay.

... and it is okay to feel disappointed about placing a challenge towards guys and to really feel disappointed to the point where it can be disliked or hated. All I know, from experience, not many guys at a young age know how to deal with anyone who has a hidden security like that but you'll never know, so who knows. It can happen.
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