Would you date someone you don't find very attractive?

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Anonymous #1
#1
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So a guy I've been friends with for years recently admitted to having feelings for me and it's going well, I like him as a person and his personality, he's better in that sense then a lot of guys. I just don't feel very attracted to him looks, that's not to say I think he's unattractive. I suppose I haven't thought of him in that way before now but would it be wrong to see how things go even if I'm probably not as interested as he is
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Notoriety
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#2
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Liking his chin won't make you ***. It is all about the persona, confidence.
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username3774332
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no
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awkwardshortguy
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I will have to in all probability
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sinfonietta
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Attraction can develop later. Go on a few dates and if there is no spark by that point then don't take it any further.
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ecolier
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If their personality isn't attractive than no.

Personality > appearance
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vox_celeste
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I have a feeling this is going to be a brutal thread.

But, realistically, It's not really surprising that most people wouldn't want to be romantically involved with someone they didn't find physically attractive.

Personally, I can overlook minor flaws - a little extra weight, blemishes etc etc. I draw the line at things that obviously raise red flags in terms of the type of person that individual is...Poor hygiene (smelly, greasy, dirty), ridiculously overweight.
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barnetlad
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Yes, looks are only part of the reason you have feelings and interest in someone. You may not find them very attractive, but as long as you don't find them unattractive.
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username2861570
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#9
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Personally, yes. There was this girl in secondary school who wasn't all that attractive but we got on really well. The more I got to know her, the more I began to like her. She was in a relationship at the time tho so I didn't make a move.
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vox_celeste
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This just doesn't reconcile with what actually happens in reality though. And, to be frank, it sounds like you're trying to virtue signal by paying lip-service on a public forum to a notion that is just not played out in real life.





(Original post by ecolier)
If their personality isn't attractive than no.

Personality > appearance
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ecolier
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(Original post by vox_celeste)
This just doesn't reconcile with what actually happens in reality though. And, to be frank, it sounds like you're trying to virtue signal by paying lip-service on a public forum to a notion that is just not played out in real life.
It's my personal opinion, same as JoshDarnIt.
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A.J_MURAPPR
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No. W/out any initial physical attraction, there is usually no relationship. Personality and other aspects always come later imo.
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vox_celeste
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This is how the vast majority of people operate.

Also, I don't think its fair to continue the relationship with this guy. He is likely smitten and probably can't believe his luck. You say you've known him for years and never thought of him in "that" way and that you're not as into the whole thing as he is. This makes it seem to me like it won't last and he'll end up getting really hurt.
(Original post by A.J_MURAPPR)
No. W/out any initial physical attraction, there is usually no relationship. Personality and other aspects always come later imo.
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MidgetFever
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This is hard really, because it's usually the initial attraction that draws you to a person, but that being said looks aren't everything. Personality is more important, no point dating someone hot if they're a douche.

I just don't think it would work out personally for me if I wasn't attracted to them.
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PhoenixFortune
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(Original post by Anonymous)
So a guy I've been friends with for years recently admitted to having feelings for me and it's going well, I like him as a person and his personality, he's better in that sense then a lot of guys. I just don't feel very attracted to him looks, that's not to say I think he's unattractive. I suppose I haven't thought of him in that way before now but would it be wrong to see how things go even if I'm probably not as interested as he is
It's tricky. If you allow yourself see him in a romantic light, maybe your attraction to him will grow. However, if it ends up that you can't see him as more than a friend, he might end up feeling hurt. I think you need to be transparent about the whole 'seeing how things go' idea, so he knows that you aren't as invested as he is (at this moment), and then he can decide if he's happy with that arrangement.
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username1539513
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#16
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No; and I couldn’t think of anything worse than being dated for your personality either. It’s second only to pity dating
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londonmyst
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#17
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For a person who seemed pleasant, I'd go on a few dates to get to know their personality better.
I'm more attracted by personality than looks.
An aggressive, toxic or fanatical personality is guaranteed to send me scarpering in the opposite direction.
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Cloudiii
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Honestly, I wouldnt
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Xarao
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#19
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I wouldn't either. People always say personality this and personality that, which I don't disagree with completely. However, if you don't have that slight attraction to them in the beginning, you most probably never will.
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mgi
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(Original post by Anonymous)
So a guy I've been friends with for years recently admitted to having feelings for me and it's going well, I like him as a person and his personality, he's better in that sense then a lot of guys. I just don't feel very attracted to him looks, that's not to say I think he's unattractive. I suppose I haven't thought of him in that way before now but would it be wrong to see how things go even if I'm probably not as interested as he is
No. You can just go on a date and then make your mind up as to whether you find him attractive or not. And remember that nice looking people can have awful personalities. But i think you do need to find that your future bf is actually attractive to you physically and personality wise.
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