The Student Room Group

Too poor to be in a relationship?

I’m an 18 year old female, who’s studying. My parents never wanted me to work until my exams were over, I am now searching for a job. My parents aren’t rich but they’ve always saved me financially. Ive never been in a serious relationship and never needed to think about things like presents and spoiling, however, I’m now in a 8 month relationship and realising I need to start paying for things too. My boyfriend who works literally always pays for everything, our dates, little gifts, I’ve probably only paid for food twice. Our anniversary is coming up and so is his birthday, and I really wanna surprise him as I know he wants to be spoiled too , but how? I’m struggling to find a job, I’m just TOO BROKE. Maybe I shouldn’t be in a relationship? :frown:
Original post by Anonymous
I’m an 18 year old female, who’s studying. My parents never wanted me to work until my exams were over, I am now searching for a job. My parents aren’t rich but they’ve always saved me financially. Ive never been in a serious relationship and never needed to think about things like presents and spoiling, however, I’m now in a 8 month relationship and realising I need to start paying for things too. My boyfriend who works literally always pays for everything, our dates, little gifts, I’ve probably only paid for food twice. Our anniversary is coming up and so is his birthday, and I really wanna surprise him as I know he wants to be spoiled too , but how? I’m struggling to find a job, I’m just TOO BROKE. Maybe I shouldn’t be in a relationship? :frown:


Cut back on letting him spend money on you. Find cheaper things to do.
Make him aware you know about the imbalance and you will get a job after A levels, but for now you would prefer to have your relationship, but do things that are cheaper. As long as hes aware you dont take him for granted it shouldnt be an issue, but worth talking about.

A levels are more important and then the relationship spending time enjoying each others company etc rather than what is spent. You can cook him a meal cheaper than going out.

Further thought
Just another aspect in that some people can start taking for granted that the other person is paying, so unless that was you, its important to avoid giving this impression.

On the opposite side some boys have strange notions and they can feel its their duty to do so and can also get ideas of paying is there way of buying you or the relationship and they are owed soemthing.

This can also affect the idea that you are with each other because you like each others company rather than what he can buy you and he gets a gf with whatever benefits. If he likes you , then it does no harm talking about it to keep balance and make him aware you dont take him for granted plus make small thoughtful gestures that cost nothing. Imo that is healthier.
(edited 4 years ago)
You should be open for the world and find more and more possibilities,
you can find somebody while sit at home,i found my g that way.
Use social media,online dating or something and everything is going to be ok!
I usually use that place https://onlinechatdatingsites.com/,think it could help you!
Original post by Anonymous
I’m an 18 year old female, who’s studying. My parents never wanted me to work until my exams were over, I am now searching for a job. My parents aren’t rich but they’ve always saved me financially. Ive never been in a serious relationship and never needed to think about things like presents and spoiling, however, I’m now in a 8 month relationship and realising I need to start paying for things too. My boyfriend who works literally always pays for everything, our dates, little gifts, I’ve probably only paid for food twice. Our anniversary is coming up and so is his birthday, and I really wanna surprise him as I know he wants to be spoiled too , but how? I’m struggling to find a job, I’m just TOO BROKE. Maybe I shouldn’t be in a relationship? :frown:

In my view, the value of the gift is in the thought behind it, not in the money spent on it - I'd suggest that you make something for him instead, as it likely wouldn't cost much at all, but it would have a lot more sentimental value! :smile:
you're 18 ffs, you can hardly expect to be rich. how old is your boyfriend?
my friend for his anniversary drew a picture on paint.net for his girlfriend and she found it cute. not saying you have to draw something, do something thoughtful.
Original post by Anonymous
I’m an 18 year old female, who’s studying. My parents never wanted me to work until my exams were over, I am now searching for a job. My parents aren’t rich but they’ve always saved me financially. Ive never been in a serious relationship and never needed to think about things like presents and spoiling, however, I’m now in a 8 month relationship and realising I need to start paying for things too. My boyfriend who works literally always pays for everything, our dates, little gifts, I’ve probably only paid for food twice. Our anniversary is coming up and so is his birthday, and I really wanna surprise him as I know he wants to be spoiled too , but how? I’m struggling to find a job, I’m just TOO BROKE. Maybe I shouldn’t be in a relationship? :frown:

whatever he pays for, I am sure that he understand, and hopefully when you are both a bit older, and you start earning your own money, maybe you can then buy him just as many nice gifts as he has bought you...makes sense to me !
You can spoil your b/f without needing money. How about offering to cook him a nice meal followed by a massage and whatever? If you don't know how to do the massage, there are lots of demos on YouTube, etc.
Original post by Fullofsurprises
You can spoil your b/f without needing money. How about offering to cook him a nice meal followed by a massage and whatever? If you don't know how to do the massage, there are lots of demos on YouTube, etc.


That sounds the best my husband makes blanket forts for me, then cooks me dinner and brownies and we use a lamp in their and play silly board games/video games all night lol (and the cats normally join us)
Original post by Anonymous
I’m an 18 year old female, who’s studying. My parents never wanted me to work until my exams were over, I am now searching for a job. My parents aren’t rich but they’ve always saved me financially. Ive never been in a serious relationship and never needed to think about things like presents and spoiling, however, I’m now in a 8 month relationship and realising I need to start paying for things too. My boyfriend who works literally always pays for everything, our dates, little gifts, I’ve probably only paid for food twice. Our anniversary is coming up and so is his birthday, and I really wanna surprise him as I know he wants to be spoiled too , but how? I’m struggling to find a job, I’m just TOO BROKE. Maybe I shouldn’t be in a relationship? :frown:


There are many things you can do without money. Dont be put off by the cost.
I think if you in love it doesn't matter

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