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Coming back together after a break up

Hello Everyone,it is a very confusing situation for me right now. I want to be honest here and tell everything. So it all started december last year we started chatting and we met for new year, and he seems to be a very loving person. We knew at the beginning that it's going to be a long distance relationship but everything was so beautiful we didn't care about that. We tried to meet twice a month and my liking towards him started to turn into love. At that point he already loved me so much which is incomparable. There were some problem caused because of my ex but I always supported him as I now slowly started to love him and was falling for him. We had some communication misunderstanding but the trust was always there. I am sometime a short tempered person and had told him twice that maybe it won't work anymore and that we are not compatible anymore, he tried to solve it but not much and there was a time when we didn't call each other for a week and after that on one day he messaged me saying that 'I think you are right we shouldn't continue this anymore'. I was completely shattered as I didn't expect this from him or that this would happen.

I was lost and messaged him back that I don't want to end it like that and there were days where we messaged not so often but the contact was not completely broken and in weeks we were back to normal conversation if not like before. We decided it mutually that we want it to be a normal and loving relationship like before. He had his birthday in few days and I wanted to surprise him by visiting him, but I don't know why he asked me to come over but was not as excited as before. I went there he was happy but still I can sense something is missing. The next day I saw him texting someone, but these messages were full of love smileys and then I was sceptical and asked him. He confronted that yes I am in talk with this girl since two weeks and I like her etc etc. This was like the shock of my life, I didn't know what to do. I asked him that if you have already find someone, why did you asked me to come over, he said because he wanted to meet me.

I said that I love him and he replied, that he doesn't have that feeling anymore. I tried to talk to him so many times and he replies 'I am confused, and I want to be happy so I don't know either I want you or her'. I cried and left his place, I couldn't handle it and didn't eat anything for a week, was not able to concentrate or even get out of my house. But he still keep on texting me showing that he still cares, I on the other hand still wanted him back. I have a big ego sometime but kept that aside and called him just to listen his voice and asked him did you guys meet and he said yes several times. I don't know how to react to this, at this point there was a colleague of me who was always there. I don't know how but we made out (it's not an excuse but maybe I was feeling really low) but didn't had sex and then I realised it's not right and left from there. Days passed and still keep on texting me, and now we were talking again like bf - gf and after few weeks we decided again to meet. I vsisted him, this time he was all full of love, care and he confronted how much he missed and loved me. But still I have to ask about the girl, he said that they met met , kissed and made out.

She even visted him and they had sex twice, but by that time he realised that he love me so much and he regretted whatever had happened. I told him about me and my colleague and he was like it's ok and let's start it again. But in my opinion for him it's ok but I am very confused, as in shall I continue it further or shall I end it. I just was not able to sleep on the bed where they slept. It's very heartbreaking for me. I didn't kiss anybody else apart from him, as that is very special to me but he kissed that random girl. Now he is just like before and I am happy for him, but often I get this thought of how much I cried and plead in front of him that let's not break up and try to solve it but he didn't listen. And now everything is just like before and he is behaving as if nothing happened. On top of that he still chat with that girl stating that I don't want to hurt her but I made it clear with her that I don't have any feelings for you.

Now how should I react to this? Guys please help me and I am very confused and don't know exactly which step to take. One thing he is 3 years younger to me and that is it possible that I don't want sex now, maybe lead him to another girl? as I am a virgin, because he told me clearly that before you I was in no relationship for 2 years so sex is not a problem for me. There are some other points regarding my family and stuffs which I wanted to discuss but that's totally different story.Thanks :smile: