Blackout sex Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
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#1
Anonymous because this is obvs very personal. I guess I would like some general advice because I feel pretty alone in this situation/ have never experienced anything like this before.

At the hotel I have been staying at, the bartender kept refilling my drink (all-inclusive) and I remember chatting to him. The drinks were quite watered down yet I blacked out and cannot remember most of the night. I do remember indicating that I wanted sex/ giving some kind of consent but then we went outside and I cannot remember actually having sex. Obviously not being aware of what was happening for that period is pretty scary, and he went home leaving me to make it back to my room (no idea how I made it back.) He admitted to having sex, and I have taken emergency contraception/ will get myself checked out... basically, I'm wondering if I was spiked & considering he was completely sober I feel pretty uncomfortable about the whole thing and just wanted to vent
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Glaz
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#2
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From what you're saying that does seem a bit dodgy of him. Could you report him?
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username4355882
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You can’t assume anything since he could be completely innocent. But you also need to look into it more if it’s worrying you.

Have you ever drunk how much you did last night? And if yes, have you always remembered everything? It could be your normal reaction to that much alcohol.

Were you drinking something new?

Were you sore in the morning? If you weren’t conscious, you should feel the remnants of last night.

There are a number of possibilities. Don’t jump to conclusions. Look into everything you can.
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Anonymous #1
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We definitely had sex- I have never not remembered a thing, I had about 5 drinks (mostly watered down at the hotel)
(Original post by batter mix)
You can’t assume anything since he could be completely innocent. But you also need to look into it more if it’s worrying you.

Have you ever drunk how much you did last night? And if yes, have you always remembered everything? It could be your normal reaction to that much alcohol.

Were you drinking something new?

Were you sore in the morning? If you weren’t conscious, you should feel the remnants of last night.

There are a number of possibilities. Don’t jump to conclusions. Look into everything you can.
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Anonymous #1
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I'm on holiday so not sure who I would report him to
(Original post by Glaz)
From what you're saying that does seem a bit dodgy of him. Could you report him?
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black tea
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm on holiday so not sure who I would report him to
The police.
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Anonymous #1
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On what grounds tho? I don't have much evidence
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black tea
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(Original post by Anonymous)
On what grounds tho? I don't have much evidence
What he did was rape. He had sex with you when you couldn't consent and possibly spiked your drink. In the UK, this would certainly be something to report.
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mgi
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(Original post by Anonymous)
We definitely had sex- I have never not remembered a thing, I had about 5 drinks (mostly watered down at the hotel)
He may have taken advantage but could it be that you were quite drunk? Drink and sex are a bad combination as well. And yiu can't remember whether you gave consent or not? You may have to put this one down to experience! You made some obvious mistakes when you wanted casual sex. I am not judging you. Nothing wrong with casual protected consenting sex. But it requires you to be well prepared and alert! You would have to get a blood test soon after the event to find out what substances might be in yiur blood such as "date rape" drugs. Otherwise the police can't prove anything because you don't remember anything but you know you had sex. Were you with your drinks all of the time or were any unattended by you at any time?
Last edited by mgi; 1 month ago
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Notoriety
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(Original post by batter mix)
You can’t assume anything since he could be completely innocent. But you also need to look into it more if it’s worrying you.

Have you ever drunk how much you did last night? And if yes, have you always remembered everything? It could be your normal reaction to that much alcohol.

Were you drinking something new?

Were you sore in the morning? If you weren’t conscious, you should feel the remnants of last night.

There are a number of possibilities. Don’t jump to conclusions. Look into everything you can.
Completely correct.
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Studentnewcastle
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It sounds to me like u were spiked and raped specially since you say he blacked out and he left you alone to go home all red flags
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harrysbar
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#12
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Anonymous because this is obvs very personal. I guess I would like some general advice because I feel pretty alone in this situation/ have never experienced anything like this before.

At the hotel I have been staying at, the bartender kept refilling my drink (all-inclusive) and I remember chatting to him. The drinks were quite watered down yet I blacked out and cannot remember most of the night. I do remember indicating that I wanted sex/ giving some kind of consent but then we went outside and I cannot remember actually having sex. Obviously not being aware of what was happening for that period is pretty scary, and he went home leaving me to make it back to my room (no idea how I made it back.) He admitted to having sex, and I have taken emergency contraception/ will get myself checked out... basically, I'm wondering if I was spiked & considering he was completely sober I feel pretty uncomfortable about the whole thing and just wanted to vent
Sorry you have gone through an unpleasant experience but you can't assume the drinks were spiked just because after drinking enough of them, you got drunk.

I was drinking cocktails at All Bar One on Friday night and my friends and I were laughing about how watered down they were. Nevertheless, I had a hangover on Saturday morning. The bartender did not act very honourably and I would report him to the hotel manager but you have no evidence of anything more sinister. I think I would put it down to experience and try not to dwell on what happened too much
Last edited by harrysbar; 1 month ago
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Anonymous #1
#13
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I remember consenting before I blacked out, it's just what happened in the long gap between that and being aware of what was going on again. I keep thinking that he would've noticed how drunk I was
. Obviously I made a mistake with the drink etc and will be more responsible- just aware that he also took advantage.
(Original post by mgi)
He may have taken advantage but could it be that you were quite drunk? Drink and sex are a bad combination as well. And yiu can't remember whether you gave consent or not? You may have to put this one down to experience! You made some obvious mistakes when you wanted casual sex. I am not judging you. Nothing wrong with casual protected consenting sex. But it requires you to be well prepared and alert! You would have to get a blood test soon after the event to find out what substances might be in yiur blood such as "date rape" drugs. Otherwise the police can't prove anything because you don't remember anything but you know you had sex. Were you with your drinks all of the time or were any unattended by you at any time?
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Anonymous #1
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I can't say for sure tho- maybe I appeared less drunk than I really was when I blacked out. It was still dishonourable
(Original post by black tea)
What he did was rape. He had sex with you when you couldn't consent and possibly spiked your drink. In the UK, this would certainly be something to report.
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Anonymous #1
#15
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Yeah I'm not going to jump to conclusions , it easily could've been the drink alone. The manager didn't seem fussed at all when I told him
(Original post by harrysbar)
Sorry you have gone through an unpleasant experience but you can't assume the drinks were spiked just because after drinking enough of them, you got drunk.

I was drinking cocktails at All Bar One on Friday night and my friends and I were laughing about how watered down they were. Nevertheless, I had a hangover on Saturday morning. The bartender did not act very honourably and I would report him to the hotel manager but you have no evidence of anything more sinister. I think I would put it down to experience and try not to dwell on what happened too much
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mgi
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I remember consenting before I blacked out, it's just what happened in the long gap between that and being aware of what was going on again. I keep thinking that he would've noticed how drunk I was
. Obviously I made a mistake with the drink etc and will be more responsible- just aware that he also took advantage.
Yes. He did. Could you locate this guy and ask him for an explanation- or is that not really worth it?
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Anonymous #1
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According to the manager, he said that I didn't appear drunk (altho he was serving my drinks so knew how much I had) & that I was as keen as he was.
(Original post by mgi)
Yes. He did. Could you locate this guy and ask him for an explanation- or is that not really worth it?
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black tea
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I can't say for sure tho- maybe I appeared less drunk than I really was when I blacked out. It was still dishonourable
Someone who has blacked out is not able to consent to sex. If you are sure that you had sex, and if the guy was sober at the time, I don't see how it could have been consensual.
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tacobeth
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if you blacked out & were unconscious during sex then that’s rape, an unconscious person can’t consent even if they may have said yes whilst they were conscious before
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Toki the Dumdum
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Can't really know how you were acting during the period of lost memory OP. The bloke could well be innocent as you could've presented yourself as alert, able to hold conversation, aware of surroundings, etc.
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