are people not friends with me because I'm 'smart'? Watch

tvshowaddict2112
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I'm in sixthform where let's say people didnt achieve as high as me in their GCSE's or currently in sixthform.

edit: not that there is anything wrong with not getting straight As as they are gifted in many other ways e.g. sports and art, which I am not so good at.

I moved schools for sixthform and i am one of the very few external students. the others seemed to fit in well but i didnt.

instead of messing around and not doing work in study, I got on with work and helped out around school, where as others did not.

I'm a straight A student, where as others in my class get C's or below

edit: but sometimes I find that they are much smarter than me e.g. answering questions in class. as well as this I studied these subjects previously for GCSE where as they didnt, so it would be expected for me to know the subject better.

it's almost the end of the first year and I'm yet to make friends, could it be that im just 'too smart'

edit: but then again what does smart even mean anymore. just because I can remember information more easily doesn't make me smart and neither does good grades it's just their opinion

P.S. I dont mean to sound really stuck up in this post, I am just sharing how I'm feeling. I am not trying to put others down or say that im better than them.

I just dont know what else it could be, I'm a generally nice person and although I'm quite quiet at first, when I get use to people I fit in quite well, but right now I really stick out as I'm the only one who is all alone.

edit: it's not that I havent tried either, people just dont seem to be interested.

can anyone give me any advice???
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sinfonietta
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You're not "too smart" - you're just coming across as boring. If you study instead of getting involved with people who are socialising (or "messing about" as you put it) then you're going to come across as standoffish and not going to make any friends.
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Drewski
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(Original post by tvshowaddict2112)
P.S. I dont mean to sound really stuck up in this post, I am just sharing how I'm feeling. I am not trying to put others down or say that ik better than them.
You don't mean to, and yet...
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SoftGingerCat
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1. Your shyness maybe holding you back more then you think and making people believe that you prefer to be alone
2. It's probably because you were raised in different environments, they just don't understand why you are doing what you do
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tvshowaddict2112
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(Original post by sinfonietta)
You're not "too smart" - you're just coming across as boring. If you study instead of getting involved with people who are socialising (or "messing about" as you put it) then you're going to come across as standoffish and not going to make any friends.
it's not that I'm boring, it's just I dont know how to even approach these people. perhaps they see me as intimidating I dont know ... it's just not what I'm use to.
I know what you're saying it's just i wouldn't really say gossiping about people i dont know, going to parties and getting drunk every weekend and running around the study centre and throwing chairs isnt really my thing. it's a very small sixthform (like 40 students) who have all known each other for 5 years. then there's me, perhaps they just dont like change or new people. I've tried sitting next to them in class and in study periods, talking to them and trying ti get to know them but the next day they just move further and further away leaving seats between us which just makes me feel really isolated and alone.
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tvshowaddict2112
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(Original post by SoftGingerCat)
1. Your shyness maybe holding you back more then you think and making people believe that you prefer to be alone
2. It's probably because you were raised in different environments, they just don't understand why you are doing what you do
that is true, I am a very shy, introverted, socially awkward person. sometimes it just takes me a minuet to feel comfortable in new situations. I've never had to make the first move, I've just gradually become friends with people in my lessons, but this year as I'm at a new school it's so much different and not what I'm use to. I just dont know what to do.
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The A-level kid
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People who choose to focus on their studies more than socialising are usually the ones who have less friends in their circle and focus on their own thing. It doesn't make you weird and don't feel like you're alone. It's not a bad thing to not have many friends. These people clearly have other priorities and choose to be less work oriented which they would most likely regret in future. Keep focusing on yourself and keep working hard but learn that with time you should give more time to socialising more often and learning to find balance in life between work and play. This is the way you begin to make more friends and form attachments.
(Original post by tvshowaddict2112)
I'm in sixthform where let's say people didnt achieve as high as me in their GCSE's or currently in sixthform.

I moved schools for sixthform and i am one of the very few external students. the others seemed to fit in well but i didnt.

instead of messing around and not doing work in study, I got on with work and helped out around school, where as others did not.

I'm a straight A student, where as others in my class get C's or below.

it's almost the end of the first year and I'm yet to make friends, could it be that im just 'too smart'

P.S. I dont mean to sound really stuck up in this post, I am just sharing how I'm feeling. I am not trying to put others down or say that ik better than them.

I just dont know what else it could be, I'm a generally nice person and although I'm quite quiet at first, when I get use to people I fit in quite well, but right now I really stick out as I'm the only one who is all alone.

can anyone give me any advice???
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tvshowaddict2112
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(Original post by The A-level kid)
People who choose to focus on their studies more than socialising are usually the ones who have less friends in their circle and focus on their own thing. It doesn't make you weird and don't feel like you're alone. It's not a bad thing to not have many friends. These people clearly have other priorities and choose to be less work oriented which they would most likely regret in future. Keep focusing on yourself and keep working hard but learn that with time you should give more time to socialising more often and learning to find balance in life between work and play. This is the way you begin to make more friends and form attachments.
it's not just that I have less friends, I have no friends. it's just hard sometimes, I'm not just all about school but people havent even taken the chance to get to know me, they're not interested. I'm just feeling really alone and as time goes on it just gets worse. people see me sat alone at lunch and just dont care. they dont feel bad or ask if I want to sit with them, I'm pretty sure some of the people enjoy knowing that I'm all alone
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xDron3
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You seem to have a big ego because you're doing well in the academic system, that's probably why. If your life is driven around intelligence then you won't have friends no as there's nothing interesting to that.
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The A-level kid
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From my experience of sixth form, people only spoke to me if they needed help with their work or needed answers to their homework etc. I would help them and during that time I would use that time to ask them about hobbies etc using that time for small talk. It was through that I managed to make friends.
There will always be people who are jealous of your ability that's human nature. Some love to see you fail because it puts you back onto their level. People prefer similarities. They prefer people who are exactly like them. When you get to university, trust me you will finally be with the people who are very similar to you.
(Original post by tvshowaddict2112)
it's not just that I have less friends, I have no friends. it's just hard sometimes, I'm not just all about school but people havent even taken the chance to get to know me, they're not interested. I'm just feeling really alone and as time goes on it just gets worse. people see me sat alone at lunch and just dont care. they dont feel bad or ask if I want to sit with them, I'm pretty sure some of the people enjoy knowing that I'm all alone
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tvshowaddict2112
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(Original post by xDron3)
You seem to have a big ego because you're doing well in the academic system, that's probably why. If your life is driven around intelligence then you won't have friends no as there's nothing interesting to that.
I like school, i like getting good grades. I dont see the problem with that. I dont boast about it or make everyone know about it and I dont shame those or look down to those who are better suited to coursework or those who might not function well under exam pressure. I dont mean to come across as having a big ego and there is more to me then just my grades. I try my best to hide my grades but when teacher put them up on the board, it's pretty hard for people not to notice. I just want to fit in and have the normal experiance to school. there is more to me then school, people just dont care. they see that you get one good grade and do their best to stay away from you. as I result I've had to do what I can to distract myself from feeling lonely and isolated. so yes I through myself into school work, yes I study a lot at home and sometimes I dont even got to school at all. what else am I suppose to do? stop getting good grade to have friends?? that seems a bit extreme to me.
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tvshowaddict2112
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(Original post by The A-level kid)
From my experience of sixth form, people only spoke to me if they needed help with their work or needed answers to their homework etc. I would help them and during that time I would use that time to ask them about hobbies etc using that time for small talk. It was through that I managed to make friends.
There will always be people who are jealous of your ability that's human nature. Some love to see you fail because it puts you back onto their level. People prefer similarities. They prefer people who are exactly like them. When you get to university, trust me you will finally be with the people who are very similar to you.
thanks, this really helps. I think the fact that it is such a small sixthform doesn't really help either .
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The A-level kid
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Yeah it was the same for me, we had a cohort of around 60. It was very small but obviously for someone new joining it like yourself it can be difficult. I was with them from the start and by the end I had fallouts with a lot of them 😂 but I also made lifelong friends. All I can say is you have to give it time and patience.
(Original post by tvshowaddict2112)
thanks, this really helps. I think the fact that it is such a small sixthform doesn't really help either .
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desou
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Pretty sure I was like this as a teenager. The good news is that I grew out of it, and you will too.
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xDron3
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(Original post by tvshowaddict2112)
I like school, i like getting good grades. I dont see the problem with that. I dont boast about it or make everyone know about it and I dont shame those or look down to those who are better suited to coursework or those who might not function well under exam pressure. I dont mean to come across as having a big ego and there is more to me then just my grades. I try my best to hide my grades but when teacher put them up on the board, it's pretty hard for people not to notice. I just want to fit in and have the normal experiance to school. there is more to me then school, people just dont care. they see that you get one good grade and do their best to stay away from you. as I result I've had to do what I can to distract myself from feeling lonely and isolated. so yes I through myself into school work, yes I study a lot at home and sometimes I dont even got to school at all. what else am I suppose to do? stop getting good grade to have friends?? that seems a bit extreme to me.
What do you enjoy doing then? I'm not saying stop getting good grades just stop being so central to them
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tvshowaddict2112
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(Original post by xDron3)
What do you enjoy doing then? I'm not saying stop getting good grades just stop being so central to them
I enjoy tv, movies, art, history, music, culture, travelling, exploring the world and all it has to offer. but I find that most teens these days would rather just go to parties and get drunk. I'm not like that and yes I suppose that is obvious. but there is more to everyone than just school. surely they know that. if they just put in half the amount of effort it takes me to go to school every morning. knowing it's another day where I will sit next to someone and they will move. another day where I try to start a conversation with someone and they just dont even respond or they give short answers as if to say go away. another day where I feel alone and emotionally exhausted through the sadness and anger I feel waiting for someone to say 'hey' to me when they pass me in the corridor or someone to ask me how my weekend was. I know it sounds silly and like I'm the one causing the problem and maybe I am. but it takes two people to make a friendship. I'm putting in the effort on my end as much as I can but I cant force a friendship or create one in my head. they have to want to be my friend too. and right now they just dont. not because I have done something wrong or because I'm not involved enough, it's because they dont care.
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Fuemii
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Nobody is intimidated by you and everyone has something interesting about themselves. Everybody can make friends. Grades are definitely not everything, so you should loosen up a bit and try to have a bit more fun. And no, not every teen wants to go out and get drunk. Because as a teen, I did not really do that either, yet I had/have great friends. Personally, if these people move away from you or ignore you, I'd do the same to them. They obviously are not worth your time or your effort. You will definitely stumble across somebody who IS willing to talk to you, it's finding the right people. Do you go to any school clubs? You could try to make friends there! Don't wait for people to say hey, you make that first move. Even if you get ignored, you only get ignored, it's not like you're going to get beat down for it! Have courage, you seem like a great person. You will get there.

Edit: I also forgot to mention that if you are smart, which you say you are, and you see some people struggling with some work. Go over there and offer some help, you could spark a conversation with them that way. It's little things like this which help people gauge what type of person you are easily.
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Shish_bish
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(Original post by tvshowaddict2112)
I enjoy tv, movies, art, history, music, culture, travelling, exploring the world and all it has to offer. but I find that most teens these days would rather just go to parties and get drunk. I'm not like that and yes I suppose that is obvious. but there is more to everyone than just school. surely they know that. if they just put in half the amount of effort it takes me to go to school every morning. knowing it's another day where I will sit next to someone and they will move. another day where I try to start a conversation with someone and they just dont even respond or they give short answers as if to say go away. another day where I feel alone and emotionally exhausted through the sadness and anger I feel waiting for someone to say 'hey' to me when they pass me in the corridor or someone to ask me how my weekend was. I know it sounds silly and like I'm the one causing the problem and maybe I am. but it takes two people to make a friendship. I'm putting in the effort on my end as much as I can but I cant force a friendship or create one in my head. they have to want to be my friend too. and right now they just dont. not because I have done something wrong or because I'm not involved enough, it's because they dont care.

I just finished my Alevels and was pretty much like you.
I was quiet and everything but I was never afraid to approach someone I thought would make a good friend(I always went for the quiet ones because I believe there’s something special always on the inside)

Maybe you go for the popular ones and in most cases those are the ones that are so extroverted, too much parties and drinking and in most cases they will turn you down when realise you don’t fit in with them, they can ruin your school life, I mean in terms of studies.

You are an introvert, go for people who seem like introverts too, quiet and don’t seem to socialise a lot.
I made good friends with people who had zero to a few friends because in most cases those are the ones that won’t turn you down and more accepting because they are in the same boat as you.
Talk to people on bus, I made a friend through that just from sth as little as talking about my broken iPhone screen.

It’s not that you smart, it’s because you are you, we introverts can come off as boring sometimes because we hate big crowds, I mean parties and **** but don’t be afraid to approach anyone boy or girl.
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tvshowaddict2112
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(Original post by Shish_bish)
I just finished my Alevels and was pretty much like you.
I was quiet and everything but I was never afraid to approach someone I thought would make a good friend(I always went for the quiet ones because I believe there’s something special always on the inside)

Maybe you go for the popular ones and in most cases those are the ones that are so extroverted, too much parties and drinking and in most cases they will turn you down when realise you don’t fit in with them, they can ruin your school life, I mean in terms of studies.

You are an introvert, go for people who seem like introverts too, quiet and don’t seem to socialise a lot.
I made good friends with people who had zero to a few friends because in most cases those are the ones that won’t turn you down and more accepting because they are in the same boat as you.
Talk to people on bus, I made a friend through that just from sth as little as talking about my broken iPhone screen.

It’s not that you smart, it’s because you are you, we introverts can come off as boring sometimes because we hate big crowds, I mean parties and **** but don’t be afraid to approach anyone boy or girl.
thank you so much. this really helps a lot and shows me that I'm not alone. although everyone at my school may come across as being very extroverted, I think next september people will start prioritizing their studies more and so i can approach people a lot more like me.

and you're right, I dont think many people understand introverts, especially those who are so obviously an extrovert, so hopefully it can show people that introverts aren't all boring, it just takes them a little more time than most.
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gjd800
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As far as I can see, you are an outsider in virtue of transferring in, and you are a relative outsider in terms of not getting involved. Just make a bit more effort.
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