"Straight" female but sexually attracted to girls? Watch

bracesandbpd
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I'm struggling with my sexuality greatly, and have been on-and-off debating what sexual orientation I actually am ever since I hit puberty.

In short, I am sexually attracted to both men and women (lowkey), but only romantically attracted to men. Here's a little bit more of an in-depth analysis;

I am a 21 year old female, in a long term relationship with my boyfriend and we live together.

I've watched porn for years now but it's only the last sort of 1.5/2 years that I've found myself getting off to girl-on-girl porn. I find that I reach climax much quicker and it's just more enjoyable.

I've never had sex or done anything beyond kissing with girls (and even then, I was 15 and drunk every single time) and in truth, the thought of actually GETTING up close and personal with a female like that makes me uncomfortable.

I have never been romantically interested in a female in my life and honestly, I could never see myself dating a female, not even just because I'm happy in my current relationship, but mainly because that doesn't suit my personality and just don't "feel right". I see myself marrying the man I'm with and having children with him, not somebody else and definitely not a woman.

I can see a pretty girl and admire her appearance, and almost feel envious of their appearance, but on the odd occasion, I'll see a really good looking girl and feel somewhat sexually attracted? But it honestly never goes any further than feeling turned on. As I said, I would NEVER get into a relationship with a girl. I don't even think I'd want to do anything sexual with them.

I just don't know what to call myself in terms of my sexual orientation. I've always been so adamant that I am straight, but I can't keep ignoring the lesbian porn and occasional feeling of being turned on, because surely somebody that is completely heterosexual wouldn't be doing this or feeling these things?

The term "Bi" doesn't really feel fitting, as most people interpretate "Bi" as 50/50, or being willing to date both men and women. I do not fit that criteria. I'm not "Bi-curious" as I genuinely have no interest in doing anything with a woman, I just get off to girls getting off - with the occasional turn on if I see an exceptionally attractive female.

It's *****y that we seek labels but I genuinely would love to be able to just put my finger on it and say "this is what I am" - because it's exhausting trying to come to terms and understand it myself, let alone trying to speak to someone else about it.

I'd fully appreciate no hate, please. I've kept this quiet for years and it's only now that I'm beginning to say it out loud to myself and trying to find some answers. If there is no label, and it literally is just a case of liking what I like, then that's cool. However, if there IS a label that fits with what I'm feeling, it would be great to know.

Thanks 😊
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Jackaleksandr
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You can fit under bisexual but heteroromantic. Sexually attracted to both, but romantically attracted to the opposite sex
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