Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 7 months ago
#1
I am a Muslim that would like to live in Korea when I am older with my boyfriend. The problem is that my parents would never allow me to have a Korean boyfriend or let me live there. They expect me to marry a Somali guy and live in a Muslim country. Personally that isn't for me and I would definitely not feel happy. I am currently a Muslim wearing the hijab but I do not feel confident with it. I can't talk to people because I feel insecure and I have been diagnosed with depression. My boyfriend and I have discussed about getting married later on (when we are like 24). However I guarantee my parents would never allow this and will most likely arrange me a marriage with some Somali guy. What should I do?
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ajmartin8
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#2
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If you aren't already you should definitely try to get therapy for your depression – the NHS have started online CBT so you don't have the long wait. Know you aren't alone and you always have people to talk to, even if it's randos on TSR lol.
I can't really give you appropriate advice given I'm not a Muslim and wasn't brought up in your culture so my knowledge on any kind of rules in Islam is shaky at best, but general life advice would be to do what makes you happiest since if this turns out to be the only chance we get to live on Earth, it would be pretty crap if you didn't live your best life and you never get any kind of do-over. God/Allah must've given us life and free-will so that it can be used I guess? If you're going to regret not following the path you think is right for you for the rest of your life, then why follow the other path?
So long as you are safe and financially independent, you'll be able to think for yourself and make the decision based on what you think will be right.
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Izzythestudent
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#3
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You should always do what makes you happy. You said you don’t feel confident wearing your hijab. Is this something worth exploring? What’s your personal connection to your religion?
You should never let your family stop you from doing anything you love. If they love you, they should support your decision to be with your boyfriend. Talk it through with them and see how they react; it may be better than you think.
Moving to Korea would be a big and complex, expensive decision, so you should also make sure this is something you 100% want to do and can afford before deciding. You should plan it very well, and tell your parents when they are in a position to listen openly to your decision. Own your decision and don’t let them arrange a marriage you are going to be unhappy in.
You only get one life, so own it and do exactly what YOU want to do.
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Anonymous #1
#4
Report Thread starter 7 months ago
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Thank you soo much for the advice.
Since I have been restricted from doing things e.g. going out with friends, dying hair, getting nails done, travelling abroad I feel quite distant from my religion. My parents are very strict so I never had a social life. I do believe in God though.
What if they never accept me moving to Korea? What do I do then?
(Original post by Izzythestudent)
You should always do what makes you happy. You said you don’t feel confident wearing your hijab. Is this something worth exploring? What’s your personal connection to your religion?
You should never let your family stop you from doing anything you love. If they love you, they should support your decision to be with your boyfriend. Talk it through with them and see how they react; it may be better than you think.
Moving to Korea would be a big and complex, expensive decision, so you should also make sure this is something you 100% want to do and can afford before deciding. You should plan it very well, and tell your parents when they are in a position to listen openly to your decision. Own your decision and don’t let them arrange a marriage you are going to be unhappy in.
You only get one life, so own it and do exactly what YOU want to do.
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Anonymous #1
#5
Report Thread starter 7 months ago
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Thank you :heart:
Do I need my parents permission to do this therapy? I would rather have them not know.

(Original post by ajmartin8)
If you aren't already you should definitely try to get therapy for your depression – the NHS have started online CBT so you don't have the long wait. Know you aren't alone and you always have people to talk to, even if it's randos on TSR lol.
I can't really give you appropriate advice given I'm not a Muslim and wasn't brought up in your culture so my knowledge on any kind of rules in Islam is shaky at best, but general life advice would be to do what makes you happiest since if this turns out to be the only chance we get to live on Earth, it would be pretty crap if you didn't live your best life and you never get any kind of do-over. God/Allah must've given us life and free-will so that it can be used I guess? If you're going to regret not following the path you think is right for you for the rest of your life, then why follow the other path?
So long as you are safe and financially independent, you'll be able to think for yourself and make the decision based on what you think will be right.
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Izzythestudent
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#6
Report 7 months ago
#6
(Original post by Anonymous)
Thank you soo much for the advice.
Since I have been restricted from doing things e.g. going out with friends, dying hair, getting nails done, travelling abroad I feel quite distant from my religion. My parents are very strict so I never had a social life. I do believe in God though.
What if they never accept me moving to Korea? What do I do then?
If they don’t accept you moving to Korea, then you should do it anyway. When you are an adult, they have no legal right to stop you. Live your life for you! I really hope everything works out well for you. If you do move to Korea, I am sure you will have an amazing time. It’s something I would love to do myself one day :-)
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Anonymous #1
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I have always thought that they have the best style/fashion and the best skincare products. Even though I am moving because of my bf I always thought it would be exciting to live in Seoul.
I might sound dumb but I am worried that my parents will not attend my wedding. They will DEFINITELY not like him.
(Original post by Izzythestudent)
If they don’t accept you moving to Korea, then you should do it anyway. When you are an adult, they have no legal right to stop you. Live your life for you! I really hope everything works out well for you. If you do move to Korea, I am sure you will have an amazing time. It’s something I would love to do myself one day :-)
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verycoolperson
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#8
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#8
ur a muslim so dont get a boyfriend
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ajmartin8
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#9
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No, I'm fairly certain it's confidential. Also I'm pretty sure you can refer yourself to face-to-face therapy without going to your GP, just have a look on the NHS website and there should be more info on there. Hope things get better for you
(Original post by Anonymous)
Thank you :heart:
Do I need my parents permission to do this therapy? I would rather have them not know.
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