How much of your SF do you give to your parents?

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Original post by Baron of Sealand

My parents gave me money whether I was living at home or living out, whether I had a part-time job or not. I've never taken a loan for anything.

Why would they give you money as an adult?

Reply 21

Rawr789

So I get that you're wanting to help your parents out, but before you give money to your parents from your student loan work out how much money you're going to need for uni (food, travel, books for your course, going out with you mates, trips, stationary, printing). If you don't work these things out beforehand you're going to struggle. Now that you're going to uni and you've got your own money you're going to have to pay for alot yourself. You may also want to save some money if you can, because if something goes wrong you might need some extra cash. You could also work something out with your parents where you pay some money towards the bills (internet, rent, gas, electric) every money. Please remember that you've been given this money for uni, it's not like a normal loan, but eventually you'll probably pay some of it back so make the most of it.

Reply 22

El Salvador

Original post by Anonymous

Why would they give you money as an adult?

Why would you give your student finance money to them, when they are adults?

Reply 23

Anonymous #1

Original post by Rawr789

My siblings give 1000 to my mother when they get student finance because they’re being fed, given a roof over the head, wifi etc. And still have money for transport and food (maybe not a lot) but it’s doable.

Reply 24

Anonymous #1

Original post by Baron of Sealand

Why would you give your student finance money to them, when they are adults?

Because you are living in their home as an adult. They’re also feeding you, giving you a place to stay so its only fair to give them some of your money? That you’re not even working hard for.

Reply 25

Anonymous #1

Original post by Anonymous

Because you are living in their home as an adult. They’re also feeding you, giving you a place to stay so its only fair to give them some of your money? That you’re not even working hard for.

Also you haven’t answered my question.

Reply 26

El Salvador

Original post by Anonymous

Because you are living in their home as an adult. They’re also feeding you, giving you a place to stay so its only fair to give them some of your money? That you’re not even working hard for.

Well, student loans aren't free money. You have to pay them back. Your logic is similar to using a credit card to pay for your parents' bills when you cannot actually pay those bills back. That just screams cross-generational poverty to me with nobody seemingly know how to manage their finances.

Secondly, your argument lies entirely on "adulthood". The legal definition of adulthood - at 18 in many jurisdictions including mine and yours - is completely arbitrary. It's not based on a person's biological-psychological development (it would've been at 12/13 or 25 if that's the case), it's not based on the financial situation of said individual, which should really be the only thing that matters when you're talking about financial issues.

And if your argument is then on the fact that you're using the resources, then the adulthood is completely irrelevant. If you're renting a place to live in, buying food to eat, the businesses aren't going to only charge you after you turn 18. They are going to charge ever if it's a one-week old baby needing formula milk. Whilst it's true that children might receive discounts and gifts by virtue of being children, that's the case for all full-time students, regardless of their age as well. The society does work in the way to put children and legally adult full-time students in more or less the same category of economic people.

Your reliance on the concept of adulthood completely collapses when we consider the fact that many parents do not consider the legal definition of it to be the be-all, end-all of what makes an adult, adult. In my culture, at least, the overwhelming majority of parents are almost never going to recognize their offsprings as fully grown adults, ever if they become billionaires, Nobel laureates, decorated national heroes, acclaimed best-selling artistes, or any other forms of successes. Ultimately, it's their money, so why do they need to justify their use to anyone, least of all to an anonymous person online?

At the same time, financial support is a form of staying connected, whether you view it positively or negatively. Some parents would feel more satisfied with themselves if they manage to do something to their descendants even when they have gotten old, some parents would use the offering of resources as a way to stay in contact, or even to manipulate their grown children, be it to interfere in their lives, or just to receive news from them. Why do people donate money to organizations that are richer and older than they are? It's the same reason.

Lastly, you sound like you're expecting to respond to you from my personal circumstances. Like I said, I have never taken out any loans of any kind, and because my parents are comfortable, I was never eligible for any grants. In other words, I'm not getting money from the government because they are doing well, so why should I not take the money? There's no reasonable emotional, ethical, logical, or legal reason to give them a part of my part-time money, when they have absolutely no need for it, do not want it, and are at the same time not going to consider me an adult anyway?

Reply 27

Rawr789

I get it but I think you should just figure things out first (for maybe 2 or 3 weeks at uni) and see what works for you. This is going to be a new experience and it should be positive and exciting. You don't need to be worrying about giving your parents money in your first few weeks of uni, you should be thinking about making friends and starting your course. I'm sure you're parents will understand while you're working things out, then after your first few weeks of uni start thinking about how you could contribute to your household financially. This is a loan for uni, you're going to need most of this money for your course. It's better to give yourself a good start at uni than to be stressed out because your worried about not being able to pay for stuff.

Original post by Anonymous

Reply 28

CoolCavy

Volunteer Team

None, the reason my loan is so tiny is because my father is very wealthy and the government assume he supports me. He doesnt as he is an emotionally abusive individual so work that irony out.

Reply 29

CoolCavy

Volunteer Team

Original post by Anonymous

Why would they give you money as an adult?

Because the loan is means tested on family income, wealthier parents are supposed to support their children at university that's why they get such tiny loans.

Reply 30

lastlullabyy

As someone who was NOT eligible for any government help towards my living costs nor received any financial help from my parents when I was at uni - I wouldn’t. But I might be biased as I had neither weekends (had to work 25-30 h a week during term-time and 60-70h out of term) nor holidays... My mother is well-off. She just didn’t agree with me going to study in the UK. Fair enough.

However, after I’ve finished uni, she gifted me an entire deposit for a flat. Needless to say, I have no idea how her mind works.

Where I come from, parents never expect their children to give them money, even if they live at home. You do realise that things like wi fi and a lot of other things, your mother would have to pay for regardless, right?

But if you want to do it and can do it comfortably, go for it. However, as someone who suffered extreme financial anxiety (I do actually have a diagnosis if severe anxiety disorder) and had weeks when I couldn’t afford food other than bread and eg butter, really make sure that you can focus on your studies and not worry about money. Wouldn’t wish that on anyone.

Personally, If I ever had children, I certainly wouldn’t want any money off them. Especially their loan for university. But that’s just my view.

Oh and also, before someone says anything about the fact of not understanding having poor parents, my fiancé (who I met at uni) comes from a very poor family, he was raised only by his mother and has 3 siblings. Both himself and one of his brothers have finished uni now, his sister is at uni atm. Their mother has never accepted any money, even if they offered eg during summer (well not my fiancé as he lived with me and worked). She’s always said that it’s their money for uni and not for her.

(edited 4 years ago)

Reply 31

username2950448

This is a stupid question.

SF operates on the assumption that parents will support their children (if they have the financial ability to do so), not vice versa...!

Reply 32

RVNmax

Original post by Notoriety

Not everyone's parents are as wealthy as yours.

If you are getting a roof over your head, utilities and food, then you should make a contribution because you're costing them money.

Don't you get less if you are living at home? It is assumed you won't be paying rent. If a family is treating you as business, then you the most efficient way would be to live away from home and rent elsewhere with the extra money. The family can rent out their spare room at the going rate. That is what I would do if my family was struggling for cash. It would be nice if students contribute with their SF, but it is mostly the other way around as that is what is expected: Parents contribute to their child while they are a student. I don't think there should be any obligation for a student to pay their parents given the above. Of course, it would make sense to just not take contributions from parents and live within your means. Or if you have a deal with parents to pay some bills just to get into the habit, that could also be a useful skill building exercise to get the experience that most 2nd years who live away from home get.

Reply 33

RVNmax

Original post by Palmyra

This is a stupid question.

SF operates on the assumption that parents will support their children (if they have the financial ability to do so), not vice versa...!

NO question is stupid. The question is good because it has raised this discussion of something that actually happens in real life. Some parents expect contributions, and to me it is that idea which stupid rather than the question. Obviously each household works differently. If parents really wanted to teach their child a lesson, but did it while taking care they were topped up with enough when necessary, then fine. If a child would be better suited to staying at household that was financially struggling then it may be an unfortunate necessity. SF wouldn't go a long way though, and the child would probably need to find job.

Reply 34

username2950448

Original post by RichPiana

My parents aren’t wealthy at all but they’d rather die than ask me for money to live with them, especially when it’s from a loan like SF.

Gave your parents a pat on the back on my behalf.

Reply 35

Muttley79

The clue is in the name Student Finance.- no parent should expect any of it. [I'm a parent]

Reply 36

Jin3011

My family aren't the wealthiest, and they did struggle once and needed some money to pay a large bill after my dad had a car accident, so I leant them some of the money I'd got from my maintenance loan. They paid it back the following month. They don't take liberties, and they would never ask me if it wasn't urgent. On the other hand, I would refuse to give money if there was an expectation that I owed them.