how can u force urself to love urself? Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#1
i posted under chanel's positivity thread but i want more ppl to answer this question bc i need help with it

how can u force urself to love someone else? u can't write? nor can u force urself to fall in love with someone else,

similarly, u cant force urself to love pickles if u don't.

so how do u go from someone who loathes themselves----> someone who loves themselves?

also, if self love is expected of everyone, that means that everyone has something worth loving. even the most murderous people. do u know what i mean? this whole self love thing confuses me
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Anonymous #1
#2
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#2
u can't right?*
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MisterW
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#3
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#3
I like to believe there is good in everyone. We're all made up of so many things that we can't be judged on one thing. (Society seems hell bent on putting themselves in Group A or Group B these days - it sucks)

I'd like to think you don't loathe yourself because you're reaching out asking for help, and that's a good thing. So why have you done it? Because there is something you care about and perhaps want to change?

Maybe you want to improve something in your life. Maybe you need a bit of guidance because you're unsure about something that you haven't figured out yet? But you will get there in time, there is absolutely no rush. We're still young.

Instead of focusing on loathing yourself, focus on what you can love about yourself. I have many skills, for example, those skills have got me through tough times and have brought me positive things in life.

You have skills, probably more than you even recognise. You should be proud of those skills because you took time to learn them. Which also means you can learn, and learning is a great and powerful skill because, with that, you will be able to do whatever you want to. Then when you see what you can accomplish, then you might start to think: "I'm pretty okay you know," Good luck.
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username3731912
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#4
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#4
You can't force yourself, just accept everything about yourself. It's not easy, I'm not sure why people say stuff like omg just love yourself and just like that you'll be happy!! It takes some people years. Just learn how to be happy with everything, whether that's loving any stretch marks or taking care of your skin, hair, etc. Start with self-care, some classic TLC.
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username3917068
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#5
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#5
why so deep?

Just put on a face mask because u deserve a face mask.
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username3731912
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#6
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#6
(Original post by Lady Jamie)
why so deep?

Just put on a face mask because u deserve a face mask.
Who doesn't?
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Ninja_R
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#7
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#7
I think loving yourself can come from change and acceptance. Identifying what you don't like about yourself, then setting goals to either change that or to accept that as part of who you are. You can also highlight all the things you like about yourself, things that make you 'YOU', and tell yourself in the mirror erryday
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Retired_Messiah
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#8
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#8
Acquired taste and general improvement of things.

First concept: Accept that tastes change over time. People who don't like pickles can come around after trying them a good few times and may up finding themselves feeling like they could never make a burger without one. Acquired taste, innit? So once you've accepted it's theoretically possible, then move to self improvement.

Self improvement's quite simple. Identify specific things you don't like about yourself, and assess them in the following way

1. Can I change these things?
2. Do these things actually matter?
3. Do I feel bad about these things because of something irrational, like a mental health problem or deep rooted self esteem issue?

If 1, work on changing em. Sad that you're overweight? Diet and exercise plan. Want some hobbies? find some things you've thought about trying before and just give em a whirl. Think your clothes are ****? see if you can get some different ones.

If your answer to number 2 is 'no', you can then begin to just accept them as part of what you are. How do you work out if a perceived flaw matters or not? Well, if they actually matter than the answer to 3 is unlikely to be yes.

Three might take some thinking about if you've never had anything about yourself diagnosed and a therapist has never had at you. But if you have any doubt in the back of your mind that maybe just maybe some part of your self hatred might be coming from a place of mental illness, get yourself to a GP or something and see what's up.

It all takes time, it's usually more of a gradiential process than a sudden jump (I class myself as a kind-of-love-myself-sometimes-I-guess kinda dude), and it probably ain't easy, but it's plausible.

I think it looks like a very confusing concept to some people cause hippie white girls on twitter rant on like "omg love yourself" without any extra context, or chat *******s about having a "positive mindset", as though you'll read it suddenly go "wow yeah **** I never thought of that one" and then immediately purge all self doubt from your life forever. Doesn't quite work like that.

But basically the key is to ensure you're taking the best care of yourself you possibly can be. That's all it is at its core.
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Lilli22
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#9
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#9
listen to BTS
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Anonymous #1
#10
Report Thread starter 4 weeks ago
#10
nah tbh their love urself album....it's not actually about loving urself. a lot of the lyrics are actually about loving someone else. also the actual love urself lyrics include really cliche stuff that are difficult to take seriously. i love the idea behind it tho.

sara - brave is a good love urself song (altho some lyrics are questionable)

and

hall of fame - the script

and

sit still look pretty - forgot girl's name
(Original post by Lilli22)
listen to BTS
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Anonymous #1
#11
Report Thread starter 4 weeks ago
#11
i'm always like that T_T but it IS deep. do ppl not realise that self love is literally the most powerful tool in the world?

ur entire *true* success depends on how much u love urself. "swag" is literally just self love. confidence comes from self love. u cant do anything truly* successfully without loving urself first

(Original post by Lady Jamie)
why so deep?

Just put on a face mask because u deserve a face mask.
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Anonymous #1
#12
Report Thread starter 4 weeks ago
#12
good point..why do we need to love our stretch marks etc? does that mean we need to love other people's "flaws" too? u dont choose ur body so idk why u have to love it. it's like someone supergluing a rotten ugly smelly plant on ur wrist. u have to permenantly walk around with this unpleasant thing. do u have to love it just because it's on u???? do u get it?
(Original post by anonymous1231231)
You can't force yourself, just accept everything about yourself. It's not easy, I'm not sure why people say stuff like omg just love yourself and just like that you'll be happy!! It takes some people years. Just learn how to be happy with everything, whether that's loving any stretch marks or taking care of your skin, hair, etc. Start with self-care, some classic TLC.
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Obolinda
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#13
Report 4 weeks ago
#13
I don't love or hate myself. It's not something I think about, I recognise my strengths and work on my weaknesses. Don't know why that isn't enough.
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Lilli22
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#14
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#14
(Original post by Anonymous)
nah tbh their love urself album....it's not actually about loving urself. a lot of the lyrics are actually about loving someone else. also the actual love urself lyrics include really cliche stuff that are difficult to take seriously. i love the idea behind it tho.

sara - brave is a good love urself song (altho some lyrics are questionable)

and

hall of fame - the script

and

sit still look pretty - forgot girl's name
true, though Idol and Cypher pt 4 are quite good for loving yo self, but yeah a lot of their songs probably have to be about loving someone since they have a big ARMY of 15 year old girls dreaming about kissing them
Yeah, I like Sit Still Look Pretty and Hall of Fame
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Anonymous #1
#15
Report Thread starter 4 weeks ago
#15
thank u, i'll take all dis into accout.

basically i've realised that when people first meet me, they treat me respectfully (probs bc i'm tall) ....then i start talking and they see how lowly i carry myself..u can just see it when someone doesn't value themselves. then people begin to stamp all over me.. i really hate being treated like that. but it's because i allow them to, i "teach" them to treat me like that. everything i say is discarded and not taken seriously etc. it's my fault for that btw!!!

so the solution was to carry myself better, to have more self worth but i literally have no idea hooooow to do this so my situation hasn't improved at all?? it's still evident that i have no self value uno. hopefully what i'm saying actually makes sense.
(Original post by Retired_Messiah)
Acquired taste and general improvement of things.

First concept: Accept that tastes change over time. People who don't like pickles can come around after trying them a good few times and may up finding themselves feeling like they could never make a burger without one. Acquired taste, innit? So once you've accepted it's theoretically possible, then move to self improvement.

Self improvement's quite simple. Identify specific things you don't like about yourself, and assess them in the following way

1. Can I change these things?
2. Do these things actually matter?
3. Do I feel bad about these things because of something irrational, like a mental health problem or deep rooted self esteem issue?

If 1, work on changing em. Sad that you're overweight? Diet and exercise plan. Want some hobbies? find some things you've thought about trying before and just give em a whirl. Think your clothes are ****? see if you can get some different ones.

If your answer to number 2 is 'no', you can then begin to just accept them as part of what you are. How do you work out if a perceived flaw matters or not? Well, if they actually matter than the answer to 3 is unlikely to be yes.

Three might take some thinking about if you've never had anything about yourself diagnosed and a therapist has never had at you. But if you have any doubt in the back of your mind that maybe just maybe some part of your self hatred might be coming from a place of mental illness, get yourself to a GP or something and see what's up.

It all takes time, it's usually more of a gradiential process than a sudden jump (I class myself as a kind-of-love-myself-sometimes-I-guess kinda dude), and it probably ain't easy, but it's plausible.

I think it looks like a very confusing concept to some people cause hippie white girls on twitter rant on like "omg love yourself" without any extra context, or chat *******s about having a "positive mindset", as though you'll read it suddenly go "wow yeah **** I never thought of that one" and then immediately purge all self doubt from your life forever. Doesn't quite work like that.

But basically the key is to ensure you're taking the best care of yourself you possibly can be. That's all it is at its core.
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Retired_Messiah
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#16
Report 4 weeks ago
#16
(Original post by Anonymous)
thank u, i'll take all dis into accout.

basically i've realised that when people first meet me, they treat me respectfully (probs bc i'm tall) ....then i start talking and they see how lowly i carry myself..u can just see it when someone doesn't value themselves. then people begin to stamp all over me.. i really hate being treated like that. but it's because i allow them to, i "teach" them to treat me like that. everything i say is discarded and not taken seriously etc. it's my fault for that btw!!!

so the solution was to carry myself better, to have more self worth but i literally have no idea hooooow to do this so my situation hasn't improved at all?? it's still evident that i have no self value uno. hopefully what i'm saying actually makes sense.
Yeah it gets to be a bit of a vicious circle at times - You have no self worth so your interpersonal relationships go south and that makes you feel more worthless.

It does take time and energy to get to a place where you can reasonably be accepting of yourself when you're at that sort of starting point, but we're all capable of it. It's just a long ass process.
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