Am i a failure if I don't go to university? Watch

peachy634
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Both my brother and sister are in university but I have doubts about wanting to go, because I feel like it'll be too much pressure and too much debt. But I feel guilty and bad when I think about not going and I don't know what to do. I've always hated school because of my anxiety and I feel like I wont be able to handle university.
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Student-95
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Of course not. If university isn't for you then you're more likely to fail if you do go.
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soggycereal
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Definitely not!! There are more than enough people that haven’t attended university and are still making it in life
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Oxford Mum
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You don't have to go if you don't want to. Some of the people I knew have become very successful, without A levels or degrees.

The important thing is to be happy and fulfilled, no matter what direction you take in life.
(Original post by peachy634)
Both my brother and sister are in university but I have doubts about wanting to go, because I feel like it'll be too much pressure and too much debt. But I feel guilty and bad when I think about not going and I don't know what to do. I've always hated school because of my anxiety and I feel like I wont be able to handle university.
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StriderHort
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Yeah I don't see much point in going if you don't want to, is there even something you particularly want to study?, and i mean want to, not 'this would do'.

Personally I found it far easier and better to return as an adult. Things might have moved on a little, but when I was at School late 90s, progression was overlaid with fear of missing out, "This is your only chance to do A levels and go to uni! you'll never be able to do it again!"...which was of course total nonsense, you can go to uni anytime.
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marinade
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No.

As this is the mental health forum rather than the university ones I'm assuming you want a more mental health focused reply than that.

In terms of anxiety, nobody knows how you'll get on. You know best, however it will be severely warped by the inner critic. Can be very difficult to talk to those close to you as negative comments can seem like wallowing in self pity rather than expressing how you feel and then wanting to talk about it more constructively (than in your head).

Anxiety is so prevalent that many going to university have it. There are in many cases much more accessible mental health resources at university than you'll have at college/sixth form or school. Many people go along, settle in, likelyhood is you'll probably come out with a 2.1 and have similar experiences to others.

You're probably best off focusing on what precisely will be too much pressure? Feel too much pressure/won't be able to hand it could quickly become beliefs. The problem with beliefs in anxiety is that although they are very specifically for university, what the beliefs are based on probably have similarities with other things in life. They spill over. What becomes won't handle university can become beliefs about not being able to make friends, about being left behind, about not being able to find a job etc.

It did occur to me that you may be an A-level student waiting for results. If this is the case I will point out to you what others have been through just in case you are in that situation. I had identical feelings and crippling levels of anxiety that summer. I believed I couldn't hack university and I wrote a letter before results day asking for a deferment saying I wanted to work (I didn't) and then I went and found a job afterwards to justify to other people and my family and myself.

I you are a Year 12 or younger then you have time to decide, but talk to a wide range of people. The way your paragraph is phrased, I would read it more as that it sounds like you do actually want to do go university, just have doubts and not decided yet.
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sinfonietta
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No.

However you should work on your anxiety and learn how to manage it. It will only hold you back in life as long as you let it.
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Miriam29
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It’s far better to feel a little bit guilty now (though there is no reason to do so) than go to university and drop out because it really isn’t for you. There are so many opportunities for people who don’t go to university. The most obvious opportunity is an apprenticeship but you could just go straight into work if that’s something you’s prefer.
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alex22wills
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(Original post by peachy634)
Both my brother and sister are in university but I have doubts about wanting to go, because I feel like it'll be too much pressure and too much debt. But I feel guilty and bad when I think about not going and I don't know what to do. I've always hated school because of my anxiety and I feel like I wont be able to handle university.
Do not go to university if you feel it isn't for you. You can go later in life, you don't need to go straight out of school. Try to get some help for your anxiety and then you may find it is something you want to do. How old are you? You can take a gap year and decide what you are interested in etc.

I wouldn't let things like the debt hold you back though. It's a debt that everyone who went to uni has, and doesn't need to be paid back until you are earning enough. and then is wiped after a certain amount of time.

Take some time and have a think about whether it is something you would like to do.
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MathsMania
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NO YOU ARE NOT, there are so many ways to get to your destined career.
Everyone is different
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chippy!
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(Original post by peachy634)
Both my brother and sister are in university but I have doubts about wanting to go, because I feel like it'll be too much pressure and too much debt. But I feel guilty and bad when I think about not going and I don't know what to do. I've always hated school because of my anxiety and I feel like I wont be able to handle university.
Definitely not - there are plenty of other ways to progress in life.
If you have a career in mind and don`t want to go to uni you could apply for relevant apprenticeships / work your way up.
debt wise unless you`re an international student you don`t have a whole lot to be worried about
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TheMadNerd93
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(Original post by peachy634)
Both my brother and sister are in university but I have doubts about wanting to go, because I feel like it'll be too much pressure and too much debt. But I feel guilty and bad when I think about not going and I don't know what to do. I've always hated school because of my anxiety and I feel like I wont be able to handle university.
You don't have to go to university in order to be successful. There are plenty of people in this world who have accomplished themselves without a degree. Conversely, those who've failed in their lives despite holding a degree are uncountable. As a matter of fact, you would incur a real failure if you enrolled in uni reluctantly and spent this phase of your life studying and/doing something you don't want in the first place.

However, you have included anxiety in this issue therefore I shall address your problem from another angle: what if you had something in mind that you would like to pursue academically but it is anxiety that is refraining you from doing so? I think you shall elaborate further on the anxiety part and how you are manifesting it in your daily life. I believe you shall approach special entities who are trusted to provide you help towards overcoming anxiety and reinforcing yourself towards your next journey. Our mental health is too vital to be underestimated or neglected, and it must be taken care of very, very properly and seriously in order for us to lead the positive and successful life we desire.

Keep that in mind and act upon it soon!
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Lilli22
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Absolutely not! Some people just don't work with academia but still excel in careers nonetheless. There's a lot of pressure on young people nowadays to go to university, but it's completely fine if you don't go. Live your own life.
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Oxford Mum
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Rawan, this is truly a top post

Definitely couldn’t have said it better
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