ex bf keeps interacting on socials like we’re still together Watch

rosierenna
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i recently ended month long relationship with my (now ex) boyfriend. we agreed to stay friends and i thought that was fine. on instagram he is the first one to like my posts and also likes the ones from years ago. this isn’t that bad i think but he also comments like hearts on the old stuff too. and he has posted on his story several times about things that were indirect towards me (“i miss you”, “wish u were here”, etc) and i don’t want to hurt him but it’s weird now because we’re *not* together and especially because i’m interested in other people now. help??
Last edited by rosierenna; 1 month ago
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999tigger
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(Original post by rosierenna)
i recently ended month long relationship with my (now ex) boyfriend. we agreed to stay friends and i thought that was fine. on instagram he is the first one to like my posts and also likes the ones from years ago. this isn’t that bad i think but he also comments like hearts on the old stuff too. and he has posted on his story several times about things that were indirect towards me (“i miss you”, “wish u were here”, etc) and i don’t want to hurt him but it’s weird now because we’re *not* together and especially because i’m interested in other people now. help??
How old? Sixth form/ Uni/ post uni?

The standard advice is to cut all contact and remove them from social media so you both have time to move on. Some people do manage to stay friends.

This is a bf of a month? So hardly anything serious. If you had removed him from social media he couldnt do this.

You have two choices.
1. Remove him from all social media now.
2. Talk to him in a nice / not nice way and tell him ( I just realised something) youd prefer it if he didnt keep liking your posts as its making you feel uncomfortable. If he stops then ok, but if not, then maybe being on social media isnt such a good idea. Remove him if he doesnt stop.

The thing that I realised is you are stalking his social media, which imo is a bit messed up and has led to soem of this confusion.

Recap. If the attention or his actions are unwanted then tell him and if he doesnt stop remove him, then move on. In future think carefully whether you want all your exes on your social media.
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Ninja_R
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Is the way he is acting harming you? Do you think it's his way of coping with the breakup, or maybe he thinks there's a chance of you getting back together? I think you should talk to him and let him know exactly what you've mentioned in the post/how you feel about how he's acting.
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rosierenna
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not harming me but i want us to be able to move on.
(Original post by Ninja_R)
Is the way he is acting harming you? Do you think it's his way of coping with the breakup, or maybe he thinks there's a chance of you getting back together? I think you should talk to him and let him know exactly what you've mentioned in the post/how you feel about how he's acting.
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rosierenna
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lol no i’m not stalking his social media. since we are friends and we’re friends before we started dating, we were already following each other’s stories and such. he has liked the photos not the other way around (sorry i’m full of typos in my og post) i think you’re right and i’ll probably just up and tell him to cool it down. ty for context i’m seventeen and he is nineteen.
(Original post by 999tigger)
How old? Sixth form/ Uni/ post uni?

The standard advice is to cut all contact and remove them from social media so you both have time to move on. Some people do manage to stay friends.

This is a bf of a month? So hardly anything serious. If you had removed him from social media he couldnt do this.

You have two choices.
1. Remove him from all social media now.
2. Talk to him in a nice / not nice way and tell him ( I just realised something) youd prefer it if he didnt keep liking your posts as its making you feel uncomfortable. If he stops then ok, but if not, then maybe being on social media isnt such a good idea. Remove him if he doesnt stop.

The thing that I realised is you are stalking his social media, which imo is a bit messed up and has led to soem of this confusion.

Recap. If the attention or his actions are unwanted then tell him and if he doesnt stop remove him, then move on. In future think carefully whether you want all your exes on your social media.
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Ahmad alkazem
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Helloo? I can help? Go indirect
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Oxford Mum
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You need to let go of each other now.

I was chatting to someone I met on the internet, but he was messing with my head and benching me. Even worse, he was telling me lies and blowing hot and cold. After a while I had had enough, and told him exactly what I thought of him, in no uncertain terms (I can be very brutal if I have to). Then he carried on saying "oh no, I think I'm making a mistake not seeing you. Please don't block me". What do you think I did?

Answers on a postcard. That block was very, very satisfying. I also left internet dating at the same time. He hasn't bothered me since, indeed he can't bother me, because he doesn't know my address. The block will send a stark message that you want to move on. As he was your ex boyfriend you maybe need to tell him you're about to block him, just before you do so, just out of courtesy. If you really, really want to get rid of him, you can.
(Original post by rosierenna)
i recently ended month long relationship with my (now ex) boyfriend. we agreed to stay friends and i thought that was fine. on instagram he is the first one to like my posts and also likes the ones from years ago. this isn’t that bad i think but he also comments like hearts on the old stuff too. and he has posted on his story several times about things that were indirect towards me (“i miss you”, “wish u were here”, etc) and i don’t want to hurt him but it’s weird now because we’re *not* together and especially because i’m interested in other people now. help??
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Oxford Mum
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Go indirect? I can help? What is this supposed to mean? This is not a dating site.
(Original post by Ahmad alkazem)
Helloo? I can help? Go indirect
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squeakysquirrel
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(Original post by rosierenna)
i recently ended month long relationship with my (now ex) boyfriend. we agreed to stay friends and i thought that was fine. on instagram he is the first one to like my posts and also likes the ones from years ago. this isn’t that bad i think but he also comments like hearts on the old stuff too. and he has posted on his story several times about things that were indirect towards me (“i miss you”, “wish u were here”, etc) and i don’t want to hurt him but it’s weird now because we’re *not* together and especially because i’m interested in other people now. help??
Here's an idea... get rid of your social media. I don't have Instagram Twitter or any of this time wasting stuff. Your life will be much better without it
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Zarek
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He still holds out hope. You can ignore it, talk to him about it or block him depending on how disruptive it is. A new bf might quell his interest too
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rosierenna
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what?? what do you mean


(Original post by Ahmad alkazem)
Helloo? I can help? Go indirect
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rosierenna
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it’s how i keep in contact with friends from america. and i’m not addicted to it or something either.
(Original post by squeakysquirrel)
Here's an idea... get rid of your social media. I don't have Instagram Twitter or any of this time wasting stuff. Your life will be much better without it
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squeakysquirrel
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(Original post by rosierenna)
it’s how i keep in contact with friends from america. and i’m not addicted to it or something either.
Try going cold turkey - my kids have deleted their social media accounts - freed up loads of time. Your friends in America - email them. This constantly having to be in touch, liking, loving etc is very destructive. In the days before the internet we managed.
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londonmyst
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It sounds like he is taking friendship too far and is either holding out hope of getting back together or wants fwb.
You might want to consider letting him know that you have moved on and friendship is all you are offering him.
I don't think he's gone so far as to necessitate breaking off all contact or blocking him online.
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rosierenna
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thanks i’ll keep it in mind. but i shouldn’t have to delete things because of him. but i see what you’re saying and maybe i’ll try that sometime.
(Original post by squeakysquirrel)
Try going cold turkey - my kids have deleted their social media accounts - freed up loads of time. Your friends in America - email them. This constantly having to be in touch, liking, loving etc is very destructive. In the days before the internet we managed.
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Rock Fan
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(Original post by rosierenna)
thanks i’ll keep it in mind. but i shouldn’t have to delete things because of him. but i see what you’re saying and maybe i’ll try that sometime.
If you stay in contact he will think there is a chance of getting back together, you need to firmly tell him you don't want to get back together
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TheMadNerd93
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(Original post by rosierenna)
i recently ended month long relationship with my (now ex) boyfriend. we agreed to stay friends and i thought that was fine. on instagram he is the first one to like my posts and also likes the ones from years ago. this isn’t that bad i think but he also comments like hearts on the old stuff too. and he has posted on his story several times about things that were indirect towards me (“i miss you”, “wish u were here”, etc) and i don’t want to hurt him but it’s weird now because we’re *not* together and especially because i’m interested in other people now. help??
First of all, may I ask you about your relationship with your ex before starting to date? In other words were you guys used to being friends or acquaintances before becoming a couple?
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rosierenna
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we were like mutual friends i’m not sure if that makes sense but one of my guy friends is very close with him and so (ex) would be at his house a lot when i was there but we didn’t link up on our own really.
(Original post by rawan_s93)
First of all, may I ask you about your relationship with your ex before starting to date? In other words were you guys used to being friends or acquaintances before becoming a couple?
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TheMadNerd93
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(Original post by rosierenna)
we were like mutual friends i’m not sure if that makes sense but one of my guy friends is very close with him and so (ex) would be at his house a lot when i was there but we didn’t link up on our own really.
I assume that your relationship as a couple hadn't yet allowed a chance for a strong attachment or seriousness, provided that it had lasted for only a month.
If he is making you uncomfortable with his insinuations which you have mentioned, I suggest you to approach him with a frank, direct question about what he might be aiming at. I believe you should clear your confusion by actually talking to him about it and also let him know about your current interests so as for him to be fully aware and - hopefully - stop his direct and indirect approaches.
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