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Confession (feeling so guilty)

I met a guy last night at a club, started chatting, and then started making out.

In retrospect, I should've just left with my friends and gone home, but I was very attracted to him and we actually had a laugh together. So I went home with him.

Of course things escalated, and we eventually went into his bedroom. I am virgin, but I've done everything but sex. I usually tell guys, even though I'm embarrassed to still be a virgin at 20.

But this time, I just felt like things had gotten so heavy, that I didn't know how he'd react if I suddenly said so.

So when he wanted to have sex...I pretended.

I don't know how I can describe it properly, but from the positions we were in, he couldn't seem to tell that he hadn't actually inserted it into my vagina. And I faked it too, even an orgasm.

He got off, we went to sleep, woke up. And he was horny again, so it happened again.

I feel incredibly guilty because he was a really nice guy and I've duped him. He even drove me home, and gave me an old t-shirt of his to wear.

This isn't so much as a question, but more of a confession. Except maybe how I can get over the guilt, because it's really eating me up.

I feel like a terrible person, and I know what I did was awful.

Scroll to see replies

Reply 1

Anonymous #2

To be honest, you did nothing wrong from my perspective. If you’re a virgin and don’t want to have sex but are too afraid to let someone know you don’t consent by point blank refusing it’s fair to just pretend tbh you were both probably drunk and fumbling about. However, I don’t think you should’ve done it a second time it’s a bit weird. Either way don’t feel awful about it you can’t change it, just learn from it. Best of luck ☺️

Reply 2

Anonymous #3

Wait..so did you have sex or not?

Reply 3

Larissajx

Original post by Anonymous

Wait..so did you have sex or not?

No I don’t think she did if you consider sex as being vaginal penetration

Reply 4

Anonymous #4

I’m really confused as to how he could’ve thought he had inserted it when he didn’t? If you don’t mind explaining further

Reply 5

Fermion.

How did he c um if his penis wasn’t in your vagina? Did you both just dry hump each other :lol:

Why do you feel so “guilty”? What a waste of time if anything

Reply 6

Anonymous #3

Original post by Larissajx

No I don’t think she did if you consider sex as being vaginal penetration

Looool jokes.

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

Original post by Fermion.

How did he c um if his penis wasn’t in your vagina? Did you both just dry hump each other :lol:

Why do you feel so “guilty”? What a waste of time if anything

I feel guilty because I should've been honest, even if I was scared that he would react badly.

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

Original post by Anonymous

I’m really confused as to how he could’ve thought he had inserted it when he didn’t? If you don’t mind explaining further

We basically dry humped. But he didn't seem to notice (or, if he did, he didn't say anything.)

Reply 9

xoxAngel_Kxox

Original post by Anonymous

I’m really confused as to how he could’ve thought he had inserted it when he didn’t? If you don’t mind explaining further

Rubbing your penis against a vagina could be misleadingly like sex to an inexperienced male.

aww, eat his shirt

Well yeah you should’ve but you didn’t. I’d move on and next time just tell the guy you don’t wanna have sex.

Original post by Anonymous

I feel guilty because I should've been honest, even if I was scared that he would react badly.

Reply 12

Anonymous #1

Original post by Anonymous

Wait..so did you have sex or not?

No, he never actually inserted it into me. We dry humped, and it seemed to feel just like we were having sex to him.

Reply 13

Anonymous #1

Will do

Original post by NoTearsLeftToCry

aww, eat his shirt

Reply 14

username3890778

Original post by Anonymous

Will do

It’s okay babe. you were just nervous. if i didn’t feel good, i would probably fake it aswell. us females are top knotch actors :smile:

Reply 15

Anonymous #3

Original post by Anonymous

No, he never actually inserted it into me. We dry humped, and it seemed to feel just like we were having sex to him.

How Did you even do that lool? When you giving him his **** back?

Reply 16

Fermion.

Original post by Anonymous

How Did you even do that lool? When you giving him his **** back?

Reply 17

Anonymous #1

Original post by Fermion.

Well yeah you should’ve but you didn’t. I’d move on and next time just tell the guy you don’t wanna have sex.

I definitely will. Even if he couldn't tell and enjoyed it, it wasn't right at all.

From my experiences now, it's been either rejection based on honesty, or guilt based on dishonesty.

I've just had experiences where guys either treated me badly if I told them that I was virgin, or acted like it was okay but still put pressure on me to have sex. I wanted to avoid that, but this isn't much better.