[Golden Thread] Top tips for dealing with stress and upcoming plans/changes Watch

xoxAngel_Kxox
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#21
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I have no tips - the only way I "cope" is to keep myself to myself, know exactly when I need to be somewhere, drive myself (or my partner drives me) and get there on time. I can't deal with involving other people in my plans (i.e. giving lifts because I don't know if they'd be ready on time, or what might happen), I just cope by doing what I need to do, and getting to where I need to be, on my own. I do get stressed if plans change, but I just quickly edit my leaving and arrival times and breathe!

My dad stresses me out to the max every time we need to be somewhere. He could just say "be at x place for x time" but he never does. He hassles me, telling me the time I've chosen to leave is too late, and I'll be late, and there will be no parking, and I should just go with him (I prefer the control of driving myself), and what happens if I get a parking ticket if I have to park elsewhere. Bear in mind, I always choose a perfect time to set out as I overthink it massively, and I always make sure there will be plenty of parking options. He knows I have anxiety, yet he goes on and on and on at me for days leading up to going anywhere, spoiling whatever it is we're actually doing. At my uncle's funeral the other month I was going separately because I couldn't stay all day as I had to get back to work, and he spent ages saying I couldn't turn up separately as it would "look bad on the family and get people talking", and that I had to leave earlier. In the end I arrived 20 minutes before he did, leaving me with that long to overthink the fact I was about to be face to face with dozens of family members. A horrible situation, which I didn't want to give myself time to sit and think about! Anyone with anxiety knows how painful being talked about can be - but I'm 28 years old for goodness sake, I don't have to turn up to everything with my parents anymore. Drives me round the bend.
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Oxford Mum
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#22
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No wonder you have anxiety, love. :grouphugs:. Never believe it is your fault. It isn't. My parents were just like that, and it only ended with my mother's death. Afterwards, I blossomed. My Dad married again and has virtually nothing to do with me. Do I care? :aetsch:
(Original post by xoxAngel_Kxox)
I have no tips - the only way I "cope" is to keep myself to myself, know exactly when I need to be somewhere, drive myself (or my partner drives me) and get there on time. I can't deal with involving other people in my plans (i.e. giving lifts because I don't know if they'd be ready on time, or what might happen), I just cope by doing what I need to do, and getting to where I need to be, on my own. I do get stressed if plans change, but I just quickly edit my leaving and arrival times and breathe!

My dad stresses me out to the max every time we need to be somewhere. He could just say "be at x place for x time" but he never does. He hassles me, telling me the time I've chosen to leave is too late, and I'll be late, and there will be no parking, and I should just go with him (I prefer the control of driving myself), and what happens if I get a parking ticket if I have to park elsewhere. Bear in mind, I always choose a perfect time to set out as I overthink it massively, and I always make sure there will be plenty of parking options. He knows I have anxiety, yet he goes on and on and on at me for days leading up to going anywhere, spoiling whatever it is we're actually doing. At my uncle's funeral the other month I was going separately because I couldn't stay all day as I had to get back to work, and he spent ages saying I couldn't turn up separately as it would "look bad on the family and get people talking", and that I had to leave earlier. In the end I arrived 20 minutes before he did, leaving me with that long to overthink the fact I was about to be face to face with dozens of family members. A horrible situation, which I didn't want to give myself time to sit and think about! Anyone with anxiety knows how painful being talked about can be - but I'm 28 years old for goodness sake, I don't have to turn up to everything with my parents anymore. Drives me round the bend.
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Xarao
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#23
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People tend to have a goal for 10-15 years down the line, but the truth is, life never works out the way you want it.

You just need to adjust whatever is thrown at you and although it may seem "negative", you should always think of the worst case scenario. However, you should also plan ahead against the worst case scenario so that you're ready for anything.
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CinnamonSmol
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Everyone who says that its best to distract yourself is correct. This summer I've done loads of different things to try and distract myself from A level stress. I've binge watched interior design videos, gotten a second job, met up with friends, tried to read more, plan my family holiday, etc If you're stressed about something though, my ultimate advice is to have your backup plan before you do anything, so you can spend the rest of your time feeling like you have a plan in place. As soon as I finished my exams I did a bit of research into Clearing and adjustment, just so then if things (hopefully wont) don't go to plan, I won't feel like my constant distactions left me completely unprepared
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CinnamonSmol
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Another thing I'll say is that sometimes you have to just embrace your anxiety. it's something that's natural and whilst it feels horrible and debilitating at times, acknowledging your negative emotions, talking to someone or reading an advice thread on how its normal and what to do when feeling stressed or anxious is sometimes the best way to subdue it
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Oxford Mum
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(Original post by CinnamonSmol)
Another thing I'll say is that sometimes you have to just embrace your anxiety. it's something that's natural and whilst it feels horrible and debilitating at times, acknowledging your negative emotions, talking to someone or reading an advice thread on how its normal and what to do when feeling stressed or anxious is sometimes the best way to subdue it
and this is one of the truly great things about TSR. Also if you follow grow your grades blogs, you can go through the process with others, and find out you are not alone. :grouphugs:
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AnaCake
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DEALING WITH BIG CHANGES
My mum showed me this trick and it is genuinely helpful:
1)Get a piece of paper and write what your problem or the thing you are stressed about in the middle.
2) First write all the negative things that could happen or will happen anywhere on the page
3) See if there is anything positive that can come out of the negative things
3) Then visit the page later on (could be 5 minutes or 5 days later)
5) See if there is anything positive that else you can think of that can come out of the negative things
6) highlight the positives.

Dealing with stress:
Stretching every morning/night has been great because It really helps with your mental state as well as physical. You can search up on youtube stretching routines and you don't need a special mat even just doing it on your bed is great.
Eating healthy is also golden. Just adding fruits and vegetables can make you feel a lot better. Lastly I would recommend daytime naps, in the beginning you might find it really hard but in the end it will be very beneficial and will help reduce stress.

Also a positive mindset, atmosphere and people are a great too for both situations!
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lwthes
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Always plan ahead, to reduce stress complete work/revise as early as possible. Have time for yourself, hang out with family & friends
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jemima0103
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This may sound crazy, but meditation actually really helps. I started meditating nightly after being put on some medication to relieve my anxiety, and it actually really helps. I think much clearer and feel so much calmer
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nyxnko_
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listening to music and doing loads of something, be it gaming, reading, eating but tbh, doing loads of that isn't really helpful when i'm meant to be doing something else
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IceTuff
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#31
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For dealing with stress find an outlet that u kno will help destress, like reading , hanging out with friends. Also just talking with some can help A LOT. For upcoming plans don't overthink it try and keep a clear head. Overthinking will just make you dread wat ever you're gonna do
Last edited by IceTuff; 2 weeks ago
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IceTuff
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For dealing with stress find an outlet that u kno will help destress, like reading , hanging out with friends. Also just talking with some can help A LOT. For upcoming plans don't overthink it try and keep a clear head by keeping yourself busy.Overthinking will just make you dread the plan
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UWS
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#33
Don't panic, take it step by step.
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Noodlzzz
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(Original post by UWS)
Don't panic, take it step by step.
check yourself before you wreck yourself?
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