Do I have social anxiety or something?
Anonymous because yeah.
A bit of background: when I first started to suspect it, I had a toxic friend that I was kinda stuck with. I was sort of a pushover type, so she was easily able to manipulate me. Every time she asked to hang out, I'd do my best to flake and when I was with her, I hated it. I looked forward getting out of her house, counted down the hours until I could leave and waited for my mum impatiently (sometimes even secretly asking her to come early).
Thankfully, I got out of that friendship around 2 years ago and I have some good friends. Yesterday, I got asked to go out with my friend, A, and a bunch of other girls who I'm friendly with, but not necessarily people I'm really close with. I said it would be most likely that I was going, but today I cancelled because of my sickness. I didn't lie, I am genuinely sick and have been for a couple of days. Today it got worse and I thought I could brave it but I did end up cancelling because I didn't want to risk it.
Now, I feel SO guilty for flaking because I really like these girls and would love to be able to get closer. Also, a couple of these girls are moving away or going to different sixth forms in September, so it would be one of the last times I see them. I also feel bad for letting down A, who I've become really close with over the last year. I don't want to lose her.
It's this paranoia that's getting to me. I'm genuinely sick and there's nothing I could've done to stop it and I'm not lying, so why do I feel so guilty? There's nothing for me to be worried about in reality, but it's like I have this weird fear of being judged or losing people.
What do I do?
Side note: My sickness is not related to my mental health.
TL;DR > I flaked on a friend because I've been sick. I feel guilty but I shouldn't be. Is it social anxiety?
A bit of background: when I first started to suspect it, I had a toxic friend that I was kinda stuck with. I was sort of a pushover type, so she was easily able to manipulate me. Every time she asked to hang out, I'd do my best to flake and when I was with her, I hated it. I looked forward getting out of her house, counted down the hours until I could leave and waited for my mum impatiently (sometimes even secretly asking her to come early).
Thankfully, I got out of that friendship around 2 years ago and I have some good friends. Yesterday, I got asked to go out with my friend, A, and a bunch of other girls who I'm friendly with, but not necessarily people I'm really close with. I said it would be most likely that I was going, but today I cancelled because of my sickness. I didn't lie, I am genuinely sick and have been for a couple of days. Today it got worse and I thought I could brave it but I did end up cancelling because I didn't want to risk it.
Now, I feel SO guilty for flaking because I really like these girls and would love to be able to get closer. Also, a couple of these girls are moving away or going to different sixth forms in September, so it would be one of the last times I see them. I also feel bad for letting down A, who I've become really close with over the last year. I don't want to lose her.
It's this paranoia that's getting to me. I'm genuinely sick and there's nothing I could've done to stop it and I'm not lying, so why do I feel so guilty? There's nothing for me to be worried about in reality, but it's like I have this weird fear of being judged or losing people.
What do I do?
Side note: My sickness is not related to my mental health.
TL;DR > I flaked on a friend because I've been sick. I feel guilty but I shouldn't be. Is it social anxiety?
In the time it took for TSR to check my post, my friend texted me telling me that they'll miss me and not to worry followed by a heart emoji. I guess I feel less guilty now, but I'm still looking for advice on the whole anxiety (if it even is anxiety) thing.
Thank you everyone in advance
Thank you everyone in advance
There is some element of social anxiety, it sounds like
Original post by Anonymous
There is some element of social anxiety, it sounds like
Can I deal with it without a counsellor/doctor? Do you think that's possible?
To me it doesn't sound like social anxiety. You are cancelling plans because you are ill? That's normal.
The nervousness you are feeling sounds more like FOMO but I may be wrong
The nervousness you are feeling sounds more like FOMO but I may be wrong
Original post by AzureCeleste
To me it doesn't sound like social anxiety. You are cancelling plans because you are ill? That's normal.
The nervousness you are feeling sounds more like FOMO but I may be wrong
The nervousness you are feeling sounds more like FOMO but I may be wrong
The thing is, I don't mind they're going without me. I'm somewhat relieved, if that makes sense? It's not that I don't like them. Idk -
Maybe with a counsellor, if it feels so bad you think about it all the time
Original post by Anonymous
Can I deal with it without a counsellor/doctor? Do you think that's possible?
Can I deal with it without a counsellor/doctor? Do you think that's possible?
Original post by Anonymous
The thing is, I don't mind they're going without me. I'm somewhat relieved, if that makes sense? It's not that I don't like them. Idk -
Does this happen when you aren't ill?
What do you feel like when you go out and are fine?
Original post by Anonymous
Maybe with a counsellor, if it feels so bad you think about it all the time
It doesn't really happen all the time, just when I get asked to hang out (which isn't too much, btw).
Original post by AzureCeleste
Does this happen when you aren't ill?
What do you feel like when you go out and are fine?
What do you feel like when you go out and are fine?
Yeah, it does. Like when I even confirm plans and go out, I'll wake up feeling sick and I'll be shaky. During the time, I'll be fine though.
Original post by Anonymous
Anonymous because yeah.
A bit of background: when I first started to suspect it, I had a toxic friend that I was kinda stuck with. I was sort of a pushover type, so she was easily able to manipulate me. Every time she asked to hang out, I'd do my best to flake and when I was with her, I hated it. I looked forward getting out of her house, counted down the hours until I could leave and waited for my mum impatiently (sometimes even secretly asking her to come early).
Thankfully, I got out of that friendship around 2 years ago and I have some good friends. Yesterday, I got asked to go out with my friend, A, and a bunch of other girls who I'm friendly with, but not necessarily people I'm really close with. I said it would be most likely that I was going, but today I cancelled because of my sickness. I didn't lie, I am genuinely sick and have been for a couple of days. Today it got worse and I thought I could brave it but I did end up cancelling because I didn't want to risk it.
Now, I feel SO guilty for flaking because I really like these girls and would love to be able to get closer. Also, a couple of these girls are moving away or going to different sixth forms in September, so it would be one of the last times I see them. I also feel bad for letting down A, who I've become really close with over the last year. I don't want to lose her.
It's this paranoia that's getting to me. I'm genuinely sick and there's nothing I could've done to stop it and I'm not lying, so why do I feel so guilty? There's nothing for me to be worried about in reality, but it's like I have this weird fear of being judged or losing people.
What do I do?
Side note: My sickness is not related to my mental health.
TL;DR > I flaked on a friend because I've been sick. I feel guilty but I shouldn't be. Is it social anxiety?
A bit of background: when I first started to suspect it, I had a toxic friend that I was kinda stuck with. I was sort of a pushover type, so she was easily able to manipulate me. Every time she asked to hang out, I'd do my best to flake and when I was with her, I hated it. I looked forward getting out of her house, counted down the hours until I could leave and waited for my mum impatiently (sometimes even secretly asking her to come early).
Thankfully, I got out of that friendship around 2 years ago and I have some good friends. Yesterday, I got asked to go out with my friend, A, and a bunch of other girls who I'm friendly with, but not necessarily people I'm really close with. I said it would be most likely that I was going, but today I cancelled because of my sickness. I didn't lie, I am genuinely sick and have been for a couple of days. Today it got worse and I thought I could brave it but I did end up cancelling because I didn't want to risk it.
Now, I feel SO guilty for flaking because I really like these girls and would love to be able to get closer. Also, a couple of these girls are moving away or going to different sixth forms in September, so it would be one of the last times I see them. I also feel bad for letting down A, who I've become really close with over the last year. I don't want to lose her.
It's this paranoia that's getting to me. I'm genuinely sick and there's nothing I could've done to stop it and I'm not lying, so why do I feel so guilty? There's nothing for me to be worried about in reality, but it's like I have this weird fear of being judged or losing people.
What do I do?
Side note: My sickness is not related to my mental health.
TL;DR > I flaked on a friend because I've been sick. I feel guilty but I shouldn't be. Is it social anxiety?
By the sounds of it no. Your reaction was normal, most people feel guilty about letting people down, even if it was out of their control
Original post by Anonymous
By the sounds of it no. Your reaction was normal, most people feel guilty about letting people down, even if it was out of their control
OK, thanks for the help
