Parents won’t let me quit an awful job

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raspberry.x
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#1
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#1
I have a job and it’s so bad an I am always getting told off for doing the tiniest thing wrong and they treat us quite badly and I get told off for doing things wrong when they are the ones who haven’t trained me properly and I hate most of the people there and the pay is crap! I’m pretty sure if they don’t dismiss me soon I will fail probation anyway 😔 I just want to get out of there especially after what happened last weekend but parents won’t let me. What do I do? Other than sneak up there and quit anyway ! Yes I have told them the full story of everything that happened
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StriderHort
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#2
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#2
Well the contract is between you and the employer, not you, your employer and your parents.

Some parents (IMO) cling to the idea that people should work, basically all the time and put up with anything. It's easy to glibly say 'No don't quit your job' when you aren't the one suffering, or even having experience of it. I got this line from my mum a few times, but years down the line, with a little sight of what the modern workplace had become, she agreed I was right in saying some jobs you should walk from. (we had much the same debate over Her: You should always be honest to the government' ME : 'You need to lie to them to get anything your owed')

If you are genuinely unhappy in the job full stop, leave, it simply isn't worth your health to work some places. Don't ask your parents permission, inform them you have made a decision. It'll soften the blow if you make it clear you will make looking for another job a priority, but in the ideal world you would stay at this job a bit while looking (much easier to get a job when you already have one).

What's the job anyway? is there some professional/family reason in particular they don't want you to quit for? or are they just generally in camp 'U No Quit!'
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raspberry.x
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#3
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#3
It’s The Range, and everyone who’s works there hates it. I did say ‘I’m going there to hand my resignation in tomorrow’ to mother and then there was a big argument about no I shouldn’t quit and all that. I don’t want to be there. Can’t stick it there any longer. They’ve messed me around too much and I’ve only been there 10 weeks

(Original post by StriderHort)
Well the contract is between you and the employer, not you, your employer and your parents.

Some parents (IMO) cling to the idea that people should work, basically all the time and put up with anything. It's easy to glibly say 'No don't quit your job' when you aren't the one suffering, or even having experience of it. I got this line from my mum a few times, but years down the line, with a little sight of what the modern workplace had become, she agreed I was right in saying some jobs you should walk from. (we had much the same debate over Her: You should always be honest to the government' ME : 'You need to lie to them to get anything your owed')

If you are genuinely unhappy in the job full stop, leave, it simply isn't worth your health to work some places. Don't ask your parents permission, inform them you have made a decision. It'll soften the blow if you make it clear you will make looking for another job a priority, but in the ideal world you would stay at this job a bit while looking (much easier to get a job when you already have one).

What's the job anyway? is there some professional/family reason in particular they don't want you to quit for? or are they just generally in camp 'U No Quit!'
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StriderHort
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#4
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#4
(Original post by raspberry.x)
It’s The Range, and everyone who’s works there hates it. I did say ‘I’m going there to hand my resignation in tomorrow’ to mother and then there was a big argument about no I shouldn’t quit and all that. I don’t want to be there. Can’t stick it there any longer. They’ve messed me around too much and I’ve only been there 10 weeks
Furniture/Garden place? I meant more what's your role, what are you expected to do all day?

I'm assuming your mum gave you reasons why she thinks you shouldn't quit? Does she have anything beyond 'Jobs are good'? Is it the job itself you don't like or more the people?

As said, it's easier to get a job when you already have one, ideally you could stick it out a little longer to find something else, personally i'd find it a bit easier to suck up another week or so knowing i was planning to bail as soon as possible. But I won't lie, sometimes you just need to accept a job is flat out terrible and go, regardless of what else is waiting.
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RomainNeedsHelp
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#5
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#5
I really empathise with this situation that you are in right now.
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Daigan
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#6
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#6
Why not search for another job? Once you've secured another job, quit your current one. I can't imagine your parents would have a problem once you've told them of your new job.
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S1elyak1
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#7
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#7
I understand how you are feeling, I hate my job too. If you really dislike it that much why don't you try and find another job? In my opinion it would not make sense to quit your job without having secured another one. Use the hatred for this job as motivation to get another job. Good luck and remember you will not be working there forever!
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raspberry.x
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#8
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#8
I have applied for so many jobs recently and again another few the other day but no replies. (As yet anyway)
And it’s both the job and people I can’t stand.
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Emma:-)
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#9
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#9
Look for another job, then leave.
Its easier to get another job while you already have one.
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StriderHort
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#10
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#10
(Original post by S1elyak1)
it would not make sense to quit your job without having secured another one.
It does make sense, for a start you don't have to go there anymore, That can be life changing to someone who is utterly miserable at work. That sort of stuff makes you ill long term.

TBH this is what i mean by people can be glib in saying not to quit, sure having another job first would be GREAT, but sometimes for your own sake you really just need to leave, no matter what is waiting for you. I've left several jobs early on either because the job was 'human punching bag' or I simply wasn't prepared to be spoken to/treated as i was...and frankly fk anyone that just told me to put up with it for the sake of my CV/Until you get something else.

Personally i've always found 'oh sht, i don't have an income any more!' good motivation to find another job quick anyway.
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bones-mccoy
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#11
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#11
Honestly if it's that bad, quit ASAP. It would be ideal to have another job waiting but sometimes you have to jump before you're pushed for your own health and sanity.
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SarcAndSpark
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#12
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#12
(Original post by raspberry.x)
I have a job and it’s so bad an I am always getting told off for doing the tiniest thing wrong and they treat us quite badly and I get told off for doing things wrong when they are the ones who haven’t trained me properly and I hate most of the people there and the pay is crap! I’m pretty sure if they don’t dismiss me soon I will fail probation anyway 😔 I just want to get out of there especially after what happened last weekend but parents won’t let me. What do I do? Other than sneak up there and quit anyway ! Yes I have told them the full story of everything that happened

Is this just a summer job- will you be going back to education in September?

What do your wages from this job pay for? Could you do without them?

Do you pay your parents any money as rent or towards bills? What's your parents' financial situation like?

I think how easy it is/will be to "just quit" depends on a lot of factors.
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S1elyak1
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#13
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#13
(Original post by StriderHort)
It does make sense, for a start you don't have to go there anymore, That can be life changing to someone who is utterly miserable at work. That sort of stuff makes you ill long term.

TBH this is what i mean by people can be glib in saying not to quit, sure having another job first would be GREAT, but sometimes for your own sake you really just need to leave, no matter what is waiting for you. I've left several jobs early on either because the job was 'human punching bag' or I simply wasn't prepared to be spoken to/treated as i was...and frankly fk anyone that just told me to put up with it for the sake of my CV/Until you get something else.

Personally i've always found 'oh sht, i don't have an income any more!' good motivation to find another job quick anyway.
Yes but we have no idea the reasons as to why OP just can't quit her job. So telling them just to quit and then worry about finding another job is not the best advice to give someone.
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StriderHort
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#14
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#14
(Original post by S1elyak1)
Yes but we have no idea the reasons as to why OP just can't quit her job. So telling them just to quit and then worry about finding another job is not the best advice to give someone.
I have asked the reasons, I wasn't so glib as to say just quit, I made it clear ideally get another job first as it's much easier when you have one. But I stand by my advice that sometimes if you really hate a job enough, you need to just go. And i;m obv saying that from the perspective of having had some really REALLY shtty jobs over the years, you need to draw a line somewhere. I'm not trying to make the OP's mind up for them, but I want to make it clear they have that option.

I'll give a crap job or 2 example seeing as i'm here...

Working for a US debt collection firm on the phones...it's crap, mostly commission, the start of winter and there's no windows (so you barely see daylight all week)....crap. Dec 23rd we're told we're working the 24th ...we're actually expected to phone families on xmas eve and give them the hard treatment.....the same day they made it clear if i was speaking to someone who was obviously senile/vulnerable i was to press them for bank details anyway. I left that day and never went back, caused all sorts of trouble signing on but i was prepared to take my chances, years down the line i'd do the same.

2nd one, was taken on by a mortgage firm, again on the phones...i wasn't given a computer, or any way to access their files....'ok' i thought, maybe it takes a day or so to get me a logon or whatever, but no, my job was to answer queued phonecalls, claim our systems were down and ask them to call back later....that's it. It turns out mortgage customers get pretty damn touchy when they ask about their high value assets/applications and get a shrug in return (in hindsight, i kinda wish i'd just said 'Brah, I've not even got a computer') But again, left and never went back, fk that job right in the ear. I'd gladly take my chances with the jobmarket/benefits system.
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S1elyak1
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#15
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#15
(Original post by StriderHort)
I have asked the reasons, I wasn't so glib as to say just quit, I made it clear ideally get another job first as it's much easier when you have one. But I stand by my advice that sometimes if you really hate a job enough, you need to just go. And i;m obv saying that from the perspective of having had some really REALLY shtty jobs over the years, you need to draw a line somewhere. I'm not trying to make the OP's mind up for them, but I want to make it clear they have that option.

I'll give a crap job or 2 example seeing as i'm here...

Working for a US debt collection firm on the phones...it's crap, mostly commission, the start of winter and there's no windows (so you barely see daylight all week)....crap. Dec 23rd we're told we're working the 24th ...we're actually expected to phone families on xmas eve and give them the hard treatment.....the same day they made it clear if i was speaking to someone who was obviously senile/vulnerable i was to press them for bank details anyway. I left that day and never went back, caused all sorts of trouble signing on but i was prepared to take my chances, years down the line i'd do the same.

2nd one, was taken on by a mortgage firm, again on the phones...i wasn't given a computer, or any way to access their files....'ok' i thought, maybe it takes a day or so to get me a logon or whatever, but no, my job was to answer queued phonecalls, claim our systems were down and ask them to call back later....that's it. It turns out mortgage customers get pretty damn touchy when they ask about their high value assets/applications and get a shrug in return (in hindsight, i kinda wish i'd just said 'Brah, I've not even got a computer') But again, left and never went back, fk that job right in the ear. I'd gladly take my chances with the jobmarket/benefits system.
I'm not saying you did, I was speaking generally. Those both sound like terrible jobs but you were lucky enough to be able to sign on, not everyone is as lucky as you.
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StriderHort
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#16
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#16
(Original post by S1elyak1)
I'm not saying you did, I was speaking generally. Those both sound like terrible jobs but you were lucky enough to be able to sign on, not everyone is as lucky as you.
Hmm, i'm not sure about the word 'lucky' there In both cases the fact that i'd walked off the job rather than formally resign/service notice, or just get sacked ...caused a fair bit of trouble with the benefits people, still no regrets...(I should have quit sooner)

In both of those examples i'd have still left no matter what and taken my chances. But i'll admit i have a kinda gen-x view of this, most of my early work was 2000-2010, and jobs were absolutely easier to come by quickly if you weren't too fussy, temp agencies everywhere in boom with contracts to meet quickly..use a computer? tie a tie? start tomorrow, first pay next week.

I'm also aware the benefits system is tighter now, they don't accept 'got sacked' as valid reason for leaving for a start :mad:
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SarcAndSpark
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#17
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#17
(Original post by StriderHort)
Hmm, i'm not sure about the word 'lucky' there In both cases the fact that i'd walked off the job rather than formally resign/service notice, or just get sacked ...caused a fair bit of trouble with the benefits people, still no regrets...(I should have quit sooner)

In both of those examples i'd have still left no matter what and taken my chances. But i'll admit i have a kinda gen-x view of this, most of my early work was 2000-2010, and jobs were absolutely easier to come by quickly if you weren't too fussy, temp agencies everywhere in boom with contracts to meet quickly..use a computer? tie a tie? start tomorrow, first pay next week.

I'm also aware the benefits system is tighter now, they don't accept 'got sacked' as valid reason for leaving for a start :mad:
Tbf, if OP is young, and it's a student website after all, she's probably got almost no recourse to the benefits system. Even under 25s have pretty limited access to the benefits system unless they have dependents.

We don't know exactly why she's working- there are plenty of families where for example paying for sixth form bus passes would break the budget, and getting a job as an under 18 isn't always easy.

I agree that sometimes you have to quit a job for your own mental health- but I think you do need an exit plan, because having no money at all is pretty damn stressful too. I've perhaps been lucky that I've always been able to find some kind of balance and quit with at least some sort of long term plan in mind.
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StriderHort
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#18
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#18
(Original post by SarcAndSpark)
Tbf, if OP is young, and it's a student website after all, she's probably got almost no recourse to the benefits system. Even under 25s have pretty limited access to the benefits system unless they have dependents.

We don't know exactly why she's working- there are plenty of families where for example paying for sixth form bus passes would break the budget, and getting a job as an under 18 isn't always easy.

I agree that sometimes you have to quit a job for your own mental health- but I think you do need an exit plan, because having no money at all is pretty damn stressful too. I've perhaps been lucky that I've always been able to find some kind of balance and quit with at least some sort of long term plan in mind.
The first bit, that is very true, I know it's tightened up but i'd totally forgot that they are now super harsh on under 25s (under 35s too) ...but I should stress, i don't see claiming benefits as a big factor in my choices, as said i actually had loads of hassle/lack of money with them, in both cases getting a new job was by far the better option and good motivation

The 2nd, I have asked, I get there may be a variety of reasons why quitting would be especially frowned on or complicated, but we don't know unless OP tells us. I can only really relate to my own exp.

The 3rd I basically also agree, an exit plan is great, so much easier to go when you have something new lined up. Ideally you would suck up a few more weeks at least, knowing you would bail as soon as you got a good interview. No parent is going to be happy with 'i'm quitting and that's all there is to it', they're going to want an exit plan too. I'm really just stressing there's a line where 'just going' becomes the priority. The point where it's harming you ideally. It'll all depend how the OP feels I suppose, jobs have good and bad periods, maybe things could be salvaged?
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SarcAndSpark
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#19
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#19
(Original post by StriderHort)
The first bit, that is very true, I know it's tightened up but i'd totally forgot that they are now super harsh on under 25s (under 35s too) ...but I should stress, i don't see claiming benefits as a big factor in my choices, as said i actually had loads of hassle/lack of money with them, in both cases getting a new job was by far the better option and good motivation

The 2nd, I have asked, I get there may be a variety of reasons why quitting would be especially frowned on or complicated, but we don't know unless OP tells us. I can only really relate to my own exp.

The 3rd I basically also agree, an exit plan is great, so much easier to go when you have something new lined up. Ideally you would suck up a few more weeks at least, knowing you would bail as soon as you got a good interview. No parent is going to be happy with 'i'm quitting and that's all there is to it', they're going to want an exit plan too. I'm really just stressing there's a line where 'just going' becomes the priority. The point where it's harming you ideally. It'll all depend how the OP feels I suppose, jobs have good and bad periods, maybe things could be salvaged?
Tbf, up to a point I do agree with you- sometimes a job is **** and you just have to walk away, and ideally if you have some kind of plan for the future or at least a savings buffer, then that makes it easier.

However, without knowing OP's financial situation, or her parents' financial situation, there is perhaps a point where unless you're being forced to deal with something truly abhorrent or illegal then you do have to suck it up for a bit.
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