What the hell am I doing? Watch

meekan
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I think someone needs to tell me how much of an idiot I am being ( feel free ). I have a fantastic boyfriend, whose pretty much perfect in every way. I am not at all bored with him, and I really do care about it.

But, I cannot seem to let go of this guy I had a "fling" with before him. It was barely anything, infact we only kissed a handful of times and he was a complete ass to me, so it finished before it started. He texts me a few times a week and offers to give me lifts etc ( I live in the middle of no where!) and for some reason I just can't not reply to him, and struggle to turn down chances to see him. I'm not sure what attracts me to him so much, perhaps that we never really properly tried to be together so its the unknowing of whether or not it would have worked, or that hes a bit of a ****, I don't know.

However my feelings of " lust" I guess you'd call it, are nothing compared to what I feel for my boyfriend. So why do I still feel the need to speak to this guy, despite the fact what we had was not even close to what me and my boyfriend have, and, I actually barely know him properly. When I get a text from him, I get a feeling of dread, happiness, and that little flip in my stomach which is not actually there all the time when I get a text from my boyfriend . I know how hurt my boyfriend would be if he found out I was still speaking to this guy, but I'm too weak to stop myself

Sorry, just need to rant. Any advice greatfully recieved. Not anon, who really cares if you guys know my business.

Edited to add, I'm off to uni in september so it's quite likely I will split up with my boyfriend anyway...
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curiouslyorange1989
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lol just get the rinkykinky on with him and see how you feel after! if your boyfriend wouldnt find out theres no downside because you were just lyk exploring your emotional makeup etc
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username145063
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You know how hurt your boyfriend would be if he found out, yet you continue to speak to this guy. Either cut contact with this guy or seriously consider what you want from your love life, for your boyfriend's sake.
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Agrippina
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I know exactly what you mean. I guess he's the one who got away - and if you're anything like me you get an excitement from the idea of something happening with this guy which you simply can't get from your boyfriend. I think everyone goes through this sort of thing and in my view it's ok as long as it doesn't impinge on your relationship with your boyfriend.
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jh_1988_england
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(Original post by curiouslyorange1989)
lol just get the rinkykinky on with him and see how you feel after! if your boyfriend wouldnt find out theres no downside because you were just lyk exploring your emotional makeup etc
are you the guy who started that other thread about those 2 girls ??
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curiouslyorange1989
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(Original post by notts-lad-08)
are you the guy who started that other thread about those 2 girls ??
lol erm...no?
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jh_1988_england
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you...are a legeeeeeeeeeeend!!!! if it was you lol
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username145063
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rumbled!
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Absurd
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You can decide on one of two courses of action.

1. Dump your boyfriend, try to make something happen with the other guy. Since your relationship will probably end soon anyway, why not? Your temptation perhaps means that something isn't quite right in your current relationship.

2. Forget about this guy, and stick by your lad. It would probably be easier if you stopped contacting him, to remove temptation.

Your post suggests you're willing to throw caution in the wind and go for option 1, unless I'm gravely mistaken.
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curiouslyorange1989
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The more romantic option is no1 as the guy above said! have you not seen the notebook pet? itll be good crack i swear (not that im that guy, i just assume it would be )
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Lizsco3
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(Original post by meekan)
I think someone needs to tell me how much of an idiot I am being out
You're being an idiot :p:

Actually, it really is what you want in this situation. If you see no future with your boyfriend (which was implied through your stating that you're not going to be with him anymore when you start university), then why not go for the guy? It seems though, that your attraction to him is mainly based on lust, as you're willing to oversee his being a 'complete ass' to you.

It sounds like you're not happy in your current relationship, as despite having a pretty much 'perfect' boyfriend, you still feel there's something with the other guy.
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Anony mouse
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Meekan, you are going to regret this if you act on it.

This has happened to me before and I stopped putting the effort into the relationship I already had even though he was a much better person than the guy I had a crush on. I had liked the feelings of butterflies and so I focussed my attention on the guy I had a crush on and then started wondering whether I was in love with my boyfriend or not. In the end, nothing really happened, except, I realised it was a silly crush and my boyfriend noticed that something was wrong and decided to give me space to work it out for myself, which effectively ended the relationship.

You have been warned.
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Shadow!
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(Original post by meekan)
...I have a fantastic boyfriend, whose pretty much perfect in every way. I am not at all bored with him, and I really do care about it.
... nothing compared to what I feel for my boyfriend
... not even close to what me and my boyfriend have

I'm off to uni in september so it's quite likely I will split up with my boyfriend anyway...
Contradicting...
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FrancisM89
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http://www.toonjokes.com/data/media/9/30.jpg
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dinosaur711
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(Original post by Without a Shadow)
Contradicting...
i= new member n have some "reputation points" with comments.. what are these and who does the comments
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Tombola
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(Original post by Anony mouse)
Meekan, you are going to regret this if you act on it.

This has happened to me before and I stopped putting the effort into the relationship I already had even though he was a much better person than the guy I had a crush on. I had liked the feelings of butterflies and so I focussed my attention on the guy I had a crush on and then started wondering whether I was in love with my boyfriend or not. In the end, nothing really happened, except, I realised it was a silly crush and my boyfriend noticed that something was wrong and decided to give me space to work it out for myself, which effectively ended the relationship.

You have been warned.
For real? The last line makes it sound kinda fake...

How did space end the relationship though, unless there was like no follow up.
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Anony mouse
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(Original post by Tombola)
For real? The last line makes it sound kinda fake...

How did space end the relationship though, unless there was like no follow up.
Space became permanent as he realised that he didn't need me anymore.

It is my fault and I suffered the consequences.
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stimmo
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To quote, the grass isn't always greener on the other side...
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Schmokie Dragon
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The butterflies, that little jump in your tummy, the feeling of guilty dread etc . . . there are not because you like the guy as a friend, or value him, or love him. You get these feelings because you are taking a risk, you are being naughty, you have a secret, you are playing with fire and with the unknown. It's more of an adrenalin rush than anything else.

I understand why you have these feelings (having had them myself on several occasions), but you need to get a grip, both for the sake of your current relationship and future ones. By all means, talk to this man, get lifts from him etc but don't let it become anything more than that unless you are willing to throw caution to the wind, leave your current boyfriend and give something with your crush a go. Do not hurt your boyfriend - from your post he seems like a wonderful guy that you care about deeply. He doesn't deserve it. You need to realise now that if you indulge these feelings you could put your relationship into jeopardy

Saying, "oh, but we'll probably break up anway" tell me two things -

1) you probably don't love him *that* much if you are considering leaving him before going a relationship at university a go.

2) you are seriously considering trying something on with your crush before you leave your boyfriend.

You need to work out how you feel for your current man, and whether or not you want that relationship to work. You need to see the good that you have.
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Anony mouse
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(Original post by Schmokie Dragon)
The butterflies, that little jump in your tummy, the feeling of guilty dread etc . . . there are not because you like the guy as a friend, or value him, or love him. You get these feelings because you are taking a risk, you are being naughty, you have a secret, you are playing with fire and with the unknown. It's more of an adrenalin rush than anything else.

I understand why you have these feelings (having had them myself on several occasions), but you need to get a grip, both for the sake of your current relationship and future ones. By all means, talk to this man, get lifts from him etc but don't let it become anything more than that unless you are willing to throw caution to the wind, leave your current boyfriend and give something with your crush a go. Do not hurt your boyfriend - from your post he seems like a wonderful guy that you care about deeply. He doesn't deserve it. You need to realise now that if you indulge these feelings you could put your relationship into jeopardy

Saying, "oh, but we'll probably break up anway" tell me two things -

1) you probably don't love him *that* much if you are considering leaving him before going a relationship at university a go.

2) you are seriously considering trying something on with your crush before you leave your boyfriend.

You need to work out how you feel for your current man, and whether or not you want that relationship to work. You need to see the good that you have.
I hope you really consider this and also what I've said, meekan.

Don't ignore this advice.
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