How to not take things too seriously in my relationship?

I’m 19 and am currently in my first relationship. I’ve been with my boyfriend for 9 months. I have noticed that I have taken things way too seriously this early on, like thinking that he’s ‘the one’, thinking that I’m gonna spend the rest of my life with him, and I think it may be because this is my first relationship. There have been times where I’ve gotten upset because my boyfriend isn’t ready to say that he loves me yet and doesn’t want to think about that stuff at present, and I end up feeling like maybe he doesn’t care about me as much as I do. I do understand that we are both young and 9 months isn’t that long, but it is so hard to change my way of thinking and to not take things seriously.It’s just so hard as I am happy with our relationship and think it is going well. I can’t help but say I’m in love with the guy but it hurts when he hasn’t said it yet.

Reply 1

Anonymous #2

I think that you should talk to him about how your feeling, especially if it is making you feel down. Communication is key. However, he may not be ready to say he loves you yet, relationships are tricky and it may be hard for him to express how he feels. Just talk to him so you can both be truly aware with where your both at. You may just be overthinking it. I hope that if you talk, you get the answers you need x

Reply 2

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Volunteer Team

If he isn't ready then he isn't ready. If he said it now he wouldn't mean it - he'd just be saying it to please you cos you pressured him. That's not the circumstance you want to hear him say it under.

Reply 3

Anonymous #3

If he hasn’t said it at all and you haven’t said it either then he’s probably just waiting for you to say it first so that he can say it because sometimes people feel exactly the same as you but you’re both afraid to say it so it’s never said. However if you have said it and he hasn’t said it back then you should have a that conversation with him just to understand exactly what he’s feeling and to reassure you that you aren’t wasting your time and if the outcome is not what you wanted then at least it’s a lesson learnt. Hope this helped.

Reply 4

Anonymous #4

As you've mentioned at the start you're 19 so that's a first factor which can make you relaxed about not taking things too seriously because even if things don't work out you still have so much life ahead to build relationships etc. 9 months is an excellent experience, that's a serious relationship by any standards. Can you believe I am in my 20s and never been in such a relationship? (Now that's a worry for me)

It will all work out naturally. For now enjoy your relationship which seems to be going on really well and plan 3-5 years ahead for your future in your 20s.

Right

Original post by Anonymous

I'm going to go against the being young perspective because I actually met the guy I married at 18 and we were both talking that seriously at 9 months together, but yours might not be there yet and you have to decide if you're okay with that and okay with waiting till he might be there. Ask him what sort of thoughts he has for the future then go from there.

How to not take things too seriously in my relationship?

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