Perfectionist friend commandeering everyone else! Watch
Basically she's a very highly-strung perfectionist. She HAS to get a first in every uni essay she does, otherwise its not good enough. She has to do everything to an amazing standard otherwise she gets annoyed. She didn't know all the answers to an exam she did, so she walked out, deciding it wasn't worth getting a 2:1
This is fair enough for her, but shes starting to push her high expectations on to her friends.
I'm not used to it because the majority of my other friends are laid-back and easy going. If I can't make a party or a trip to the pub, they'll understand and accept they'll see me another time. But she is completely the opposite. If someone can't make a night out, she'll ***** about it for weeks and will eventually bring it up and accuse them of being a bad friend. The other week, she called me "lazy" because I couldn't come to another friend's birthday party coz I had to go to my cousin's wedding (planned months in advance)! Its ridiculous.
She compares all her friends to herself. For example, if someone doesnt have a part time job, she'll start suggesting they're lazy because shes worked at Burger King since she started uni. Its like she thinks shes so much better and more hard-working than everyone. She'll even compare timetables - and if she has more hours of lectures, she'll start ****ging everyone off!
I dont think I can take much more of it. I dont even know her that well, yet she feels the right to moan at me constantly. I once said something about it (in a polite way) and she went crazy and started shouting at me. Does anyone else have a friend like this? I'm living with her next year coz shes friends with my close friends. I'm worried I'll go mad lol
She's also tried to ban me from bringing my bass guitar to uni next year, saying that it'll be a nuisance and really loud etc etc, but still expects me to bring my Wii for her to play on, and apparently a TV too, because she lives in Sweden, so she's not going to buy one?
She also puts me down and every story that I have, she'll have one that's better, as though I'm competing with her, which really grates. I told her about a friend that got an abortion, and I was talking about how upsetting it was etc etc, and she joins in with "well I know someone that had TWO abortions" ?! I was so annoyed!
Sorry for the rant, but I know EXACTLY how you feel! And I have no idea how I'm going to survive next year!
What I suggest? Try and joke her out of it. If she goes mad at you for missing a social event, just smile in a wry manner and say, "Well, ___, we can't all be as perfect as you - I do need to work sometimes". Etc. Or, when she calls you a bad friend - "Oh, I'm a bad friend, am I? (look mock sad) I'll try to be a better person next time." - i.e. don't let her have the power to guilt trip you. Your aim here is to make her look like a small, rather immature young child who is not worth arguing with because you are just unarguably superior to them, if you see what I mean. So basically - humour her. Go along with what she says to you, but at the same time, be implicitly ironic, as if to say, "Yes, I can see your little game here."
It sounds as if she's a bit of a control freak, to be honest. So if you can gain control over her, show that you're not bothered by what she has to say to you, and ideally make her feel an inch small in the process, you might just change her for the better.
Wonder why she cares to attend any outings or parties at all, since she is so self-centered.