The Student Room Group

Dancing and being in clubs

I feel very uncomfortable in clubs.
Whenever im out in clubs i can't wait to get home. People say, just drink to get more confidence and just pretend and copy other people but that doesnt work. Even when i was out last night, my friends were looking at me weird and said 'i looked awkward and really worried'. A few of my other friends say to me 'r u ok? whats wrong, are u enjoying yourself, cmon smile'.
I really don't enjoy being in clubbing atmosphere. I feel very nervous with loud music playing and lots of people surrounding me. I hate dancing, as i feel like i physically can't get my body to flow and move and people keep encouaging me to do it so i only do it coz think im boring when i dont and i dont want to be left sitting by myself.

I feel even worse because im going to uni in september and im going to be a complete loser with hardly any friends and be very excluded if i dont start liking going to them.
Is this just soemthing i have to work at even harder and learn to enjoy, or should i just accept thats the way i am?
Is it normal to not be relaxed enough to ever let my body flow and dance and this anxious and uncormfatable in loud situations with lots of people?

I guess it doesnt help that i have low self esteem and feel very unhappy most of the time anyway..

Scroll to see replies

Reply 1
i'll be your friend :-) lol naaah dont worrry i dont like clubs either and im sure theirs lots of others to nothing to worry about
blondyx
I feel very uncomfortable in clubs.
Whenever im out in clubs i can't wait to get home. People say, just drink to get more confidence and just pretend and copy other people but that doesnt work. Even when i was out last night, my friends were looking at me weird and said 'i looked awkward and really worried'. A few of my other friends say to me 'r u ok? whats wrong, are u enjoying yourself, cmon smile'.
I really don't enjoy being in clubbing atmosphere. I feel very nervous with loud music playing and lots of people surrounding me. I hate dancing, as i feel like i physically can't get my body to flow and move and people keep encouaging me to do it so i only do it coz think im boring when i dont and i dont want to be left sitting by myself.

I feel even worse because im going to uni in september and im going to be a complete loser with hardly any friends and be very excluded if i dont start liking going to them.
Is this just soemthing i have to work at even harder and learn to enjoy, or should i just accept thats the way i am?


If you don't like it just don't go.

Personally I hate clubbing, everytime I go someone ALWAYS spills drink on me :mad:
Reply 3
Maybe clubbing just isnt for you

I don't mind clubbing but tbh i would rather go to the pub, or even just stay in watch tv/play video games with my friends.

If you don't want to go don't! Just invite your friends to do other things with you which you enjoy now and then.
Reply 4
Why go if you don't like it then? :s-smilie:
It's quite rare that I enjoy clubbing - I've got to be in precisely the right mood, and pretty drunk. That being said, I don't think it has ever really held me back. I've always been the sort to spend more time in pubs than clubs, and well, you're probably likely to meet more guys if you're similarly inclined. Things like pub crawls tend to have the same sort of atmosphere, too, and you don't need to dance - though you may end up with your ankles tied to those of random strangers.

Really, I don't think you'll miss out that much. Sure, you might not get in with the hardcore clubbing crowd, but in my case, they're usually not my type of people anyway.

Oh, as a side note, you could always go to a drum n bass night at a club - you could be having an epileptic fit and nobody what look at you strangely.
I'm going to uni in september, but I get the feeling that clubbing isn't the be all and end all of uni life. Maybe try to smile even if you're not enjoying yourself - that way people wont notice you as much because you'll be happy like everyone else. Please don't think everyone judges you on your dancing, because most of the time in clubs everyone's either too drunk to notice or couldn't care less whether you're good or not.
Just try to think of it as a good night out with your friends, and ask them to sit down once in a while for a chat. Or just a rest if it's too loud...
Reply 7
SillyFencer
Why go if you don't like it then? :s-smilie:


Because it seems like 95% of people do it, and if i dont then i will be excluded.
All of my friends will go out with me all the time and i will end up being by myself with no friends and people thinking im boring.
Reply 8
blondyx
Because it seems like 95% of people do it, and if i dont then i will be excluded.
All of my friends will go out with me all the time and i will end up being by myself with no friends and people thinking im boring.

You could just go home after the union, and laugh at your mates with the sore heads the next day.

Don't worry about people thinking you're boring. Why would you care?
blondyx
Because it seems like 95% of people do it, and if i dont then i will be excluded.
All of my friends will go out with me all the time and i will end up being by myself with no friends and people thinking im boring.


I doubt people will think you are boring--and if they are really good friends they won't care
Maybe just go out for a few drinks at the start of the evening so you still see everyone?

I'd much rather spend my time playing scrable with a cup of tea :smile:
and if anyone thinks thats boring, well they obviously haven't played scrabble with me :biggrin:
sugar_and_spice
If you don't like it just don't go.

Personally I hate clubbing, everytime I go someone ALWAYS spills drink on me :mad:


****in ALWAYS, and it's ALWAYS right on my ****in shirt that I've ironed and ****, so now I've got this bigass WKD ****in stain on my ****in nice shirt and a stupid ass ****in drunk crazy bitch screaming sorry in my ****in ear but still trying to give me the ****in eye because her stupid drunk logic thinks "HAY I JUST SPILT DRINK ON HIZ SHIRT IF I BAT EYELID HE'LL BUY ANOTHER WUN LOLZ" and yes, she probably would say ****in 'LOLZ' in her ****in head cause she's that ****in **** at life.

So yeah, clubs aren't for everyone, if you don't like em you don't have to go :smile:
Reply 11
There will be plenty of others like you, don't worry. I know quite alot of people who prefer a quiet drink in the pub, or just not drinking at all and doing different stuff. I found alot of the freshers events were based round club nights though, so you might have to find other ways of meeting new people, for example societies and stuff.

On the other hand, I can never dance unless I have a few, and I look ridiculous either way :P
masterofdalliance
****in ALWAYS, and it's ALWAYS right on my ****in shirt that I've ironed and ****, so now I've got this bigass WKD ****in stain on my ****in nice shirt and a stupid ass ****in drunk crazy bitch screaming sorry in my ****in ear but still trying to give me the ****in eye because her stupid drunk logic thinks "HAY I JUST SPILT DRINK ON HIZ SHIRT IF I BAT EYELID HE'LL BUY ANOTHER WUN LOLZ" and yes, she probably would say ****in 'LOLZ' in her ****in head cause she's that ****in **** at life.

So yeah, clubs aren't for everyone, if you don't like em you don't have to go :smile:


I am trully feeling the anger of that post!
:smile:
I LOVE clubbing but I always get suitably drunk first so that I don't mind the drinks being spilled on me :biggrin: And if it's someone you know who spills the drink, just make them buy you another one lol. A friend of mine spilled something on me so I nabbed the drink out of his other hand while he was saying "please forgive me" blah blah blah cos he was drunk. I was like "it's fine! You've payed me back with this drink!" lol.

Clubbing is one of my favourite things to do :biggrin:
I hate clubs and clubbing too. Dancing.. god, don't even go there. No chance.
In some places the music really is too loud, yeah, so much so that the walls are just vibrating, and it's not hard to feel claustrophobic.

Maybe you're in with the wrong crowd or something.. It can be awkward though, if you're the only one who doesn't want to go clubbing and everyone else does..
Tricky situation, but it should be up to you.
masterofdalliance
****in ALWAYS, and it's ALWAYS right on my ****in shirt that I've ironed and ****, so now I've got this bigass WKD ****in stain on my ****in nice shirt and a stupid ass ****in drunk crazy bitch screaming sorry in my ****in ear but still trying to give me the ****in eye because her stupid drunk logic thinks "HAY I JUST SPILT DRINK ON HIZ SHIRT IF I BAT EYELID HE'LL BUY ANOTHER WUN LOLZ" and yes, she probably would say ****in 'LOLZ' in her ****in head cause she's that ****in **** at life.

So yeah, clubs aren't for everyone, if you don't like em you don't have to go :smile:


haha that so gets rep tomorrow!:wink:
Reply 16
Wow, I never realised there existed people who didn't enjoy clubbing
Reply 17
kimoso
Wow, I never realised there existed people who didn't enjoy clubbing


thanks..
I enjoy clubbing. Don't even mind a good boogie when i'm completely sober but i have friends who dont drink and dont like clubbing or some who just prefer pubs and i'm happy to do other things with them, like cinema, going out for meals, gigs, skiing... whatever. You'll find all sorts you can do at uni! :smile:
Reply 19
speaking entirely about myself I am often in several different moods when in a club. It could be that I'm only actually there for more drink because the pub is shut thereby I, like you, will not partake in much dancing (if you can even call it that!) or i'll be with friends and we'll have a bit of a laugh, dance and not care who's around because 99% of the time nobody is really interested who's around them. Try and be a bit more easy when you're out, relax!

Latest

Trending

Trending