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Should I (19y/o female) tell one of my best friends I've developed feelings for her?

I met this friend this September. We didn’t initially start off that close. She actually kissed my ex (19M) within a week of our breakup and that prevented me from deepening our friendship for some time. That was back in November when we were just starting to become close because a mutual friend was acting shady toward both of us. I realized that my friendship with her meant so much to me already and I didn’t want to disregard it because she got carried away and felt badly about it. God only knows I’ve messed up in the past
For the last couple of months, I’ve been feeling this mixture of jealousy and admiration toward my friend. The girl has been through more than I can fathom, but she holds herself so well. She is so nice and funny. It seems like a lot of guys in our circle have tiny crushes on her. I don’t really get that sort of attention. Sometimes I get bitter about this due to some irrational resentment about the timing of her kissing my ex. Other times I wish it was me she hanging out with that night and that we were the ones who kissed.So these thoughts are all insecurities and I never really paid much mind to them. Then we got drunk together and actually did kiss. It didn’t seem to mean much to either of us at the time. Then she came out to a friend and me within a couple of days of the kiss. Then she left for the summer and she’s been on my mind constantly. Right now I’m losing weight, taking care of my skin, dyeing my hair a lighter shade of blonde because I think it’ll bring out my eyes (she’s always complimenting my eyes). I’m mostly doing this for myself, but a part of me wants her to feel attracted to me instead of just being some university “first” she happens to care about. The weirdest thing is that I don’t necessarily even want to pursue a relationship with her. I just feel like if I look better and took better care of myself then I’d be deserving of her or something.I was having a bit of stoner phase this week. Each time I got high, images of her and I together persisted in my head, unfiltered and genuine. I can rationalize wanting to impress my friend, but knowing that I actually might want to BE with her? In the unlikely situation she somehow finds out about my crush on her, I don’t know what I’d do with myself. We got high together before she left for home, and she told me how much it meant to her that I stuck around and how I’m her best friend. She even sent me this message before she boarded her flight saying that she sees us being friends when our kids have kids. I’ve never had a friendship this strong, but I’m jeopardizing it and I can’t even help these feelings.I don’t know if I’d be a terrible friend for telling her or a terrible friend for continuing our friendship like normal.
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Mate, been in this situation before, tell her how u feel, if she doesn't feel the same, so be it, if she becomes all awkward, question her, why are u being awkward, all I did was express my feelings, if u need any more advice, just ask

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