Cut off from all support Watch

Anonymous #1
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I have a long and complex history of mental illness which is too long to get into here but my psychiatrist said that I will no longer have any kind of talking therapy or medication. Months ago I was an inpatient in a therapeutic community, but I only lasted two days, I tried to get into their outreach program later but they expected me to jump through hoops and somehow prove myself worthy of their treatment. My psychiatrist therefore thinks that I have rejected the treatments I have been offered but for me that's not the case at all. They expect me to show commitment towards a program by first attending loads of one to one meetings before I'm being offered anything, but I can't possibly do that when I'm at my lowest and everything seems pointless.
I just can't believe that he is happy to leave me without any kind of support whatsoever given my multiple diagnoses of anxiety, depression and personality disorder. At the last minute and only at my request, he referred me to something called the Network, which is more like a social activity program than actual serious therapy, but tbh I don't really see the point, I already did that program years ago and there is nothing I enjoy doing anymore.
They just expect me to change on my own but I can't anymore.
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markova21
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So sorry to hear this. It sounds similar to my sister who suffers from depression and Borderline Personality Disorder. She was in a once a week group therapy session organised by her psychiatrist. But one of the other people in there really rubbed her up the wrong way. Instead of speaking out, like they were all encouraged to do, she let her negative feelings towards this bloke build up, so that she basically wanted to go over and smash his face in. She knew she couldn't of course. So she went outside and took it out on the man's bicycle. Completely wrecked it with her bare hands; bent the handlebars and destroyed the tyres and everything. She was very apologetic later and in tears as she felt like such a cow for doing that to the man's bike. He had done her no harm at all. Anyway, as a consequence, she was thrown out of the group and not ever allowed back again. You have to be so careful with mental health services. I get the impression they are so scarce that you really have to be seen to be wanting it for yourself and let them see you are committed to it, or they will drop you like a shot and give your place to someone else on the no doubt very long waiting list. I hope you are able to find some way back into it, if you feel it is right for you. Just keep on emphasising to your GP how much you value it and ask him /them to give you a second chance. It's worth a try. Being in "the system" of some sort is better than having nothing at all. Good luck.
Last edited by markova21; 2 weeks ago
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by markova21)
So sorry to hear this. It sounds similar to my sister who suffers from depression and Borderline Personality Disorder. She was in a once a week group therapy session organised by her psychiatrist. But one of the other people in there really rubbed her up the wrong way. Instead of speaking out, like they were all encouraged to do, she let her negative feelings towards this bloke build up, so that she basically wanted to go over and smash his face in. She knew she couldn't of course. So she went outside and took it out on the man's bicycle. Completely wrecked it with her bare hands; bent the handlebars and destroyed the tyres and everything. She was very apologetic later and in tears as she felt like such a cow for doing that to the man's bike. He had done her no harm at all. Anyway, as a consequence, she was thrown out of the group and not ever allowed back again. You have to be so careful with mental health services. I get the impression they are so scarce that you really have to be seen to be wanting it for yourself and let them see you are committed to it, or they will drop you like a shot and give your place to someone else on the no doubt very long waiting list. I hope you are able to find some way back into it, if you feel it is right for you. Just keep on emphasising to your GP how much you value it and ask him /them to give you a second chance. It's worth a try. Being in "the system" of some sort is better than having nothing at all. Good luck.
Nothing like that happened to me although they were some very difficult characters in my so called 'therapeutic' community. My main problem there was that the nurses don't seem to take physical illnesses seriously and they had no community doctor despite promising that they would find one by the time I was admitted.
I guess they think I don't want it enough and I can't seem to jump through all the hoops that they want me to, so maybe they're right.
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doodle_333
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I'm sorry you feel like that... unfortunately mental health services are so over subscribed that if youre not 100% reliable and attend everything then they can't invest the resources in you when someone else would show more willing. Change is hard and they need to see you're ready and willing. Perhaps ask your doctor for one more chance and apologise for being unreliable?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by doodle_333)
I'm sorry you feel like that... unfortunately mental health services are so over subscribed that if youre not 100% reliable and attend everything then they can't invest the resources in you when someone else would show more willing. Change is hard and they need to see you're ready and willing. Perhaps ask your doctor for one more chance and apologise for being unreliable?
He didnt say it was a funding matter. I asked him about that and he explicitly denied it, though I know they lie. I dont feel I have anything to apologize for, ive done everything theyve asked of me.
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Anonymous #1
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I didnt realise I had to somehow prove myself worthy of treatment in order to be accepted. I thought the fact that I have diagnoses and I suffer on a daily basis would be enough.
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doodle_333
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(Original post by Anonymous)
He didnt say it was a funding matter. I asked him about that and he explicitly denied it, though I know they lie. I dont feel I have anything to apologize for, ive done everything theyve asked of me.
You're twisting everything.

You said in your original post they feel you've refused or rejected treatment. You left one treatment after 2 days, no reason given. Another you didn't 'jump through hoops'.

It's not about proving you're worthy but why should someone who is equally hurting and suffering sit on a waiting list while you go through service after service not actually getting anythimg from them when that person may actually benefit. That's not a judgement on you at all but simply a fact, if you aren't going through treatment to the end it's not working... whatever the reasons it failed.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by doodle_333)
You're twisting everything.

You said in your original post they feel you've refused or rejected treatment. You left one treatment after 2 days, no reason given. Another you didn't 'jump through hoops'.

It's not about proving you're worthy but why should someone who is equally hurting and suffering sit on a waiting list while you go through service after service not actually getting anythimg from them when that person may actually benefit. That's not a judgement on you at all but simply a fact, if you aren't going through treatment to the end it's not working... whatever the reasons it failed.
how am I twisting everything?
I gave you my reasons for leaving the place and I had plenty more. Going in there wasn't a decision i took lightly and after leaving treatment I was in a really dark place. You don't know what it was like or how I felt, how I still feel most days.
But you're right, I guess everyone else is more worthy of treatment than I am.
I wonder when psychiatrists are going to take some ****ing responsibility for the recovery of their patients instead of expecting us to do everything ourselves.
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doodle_333
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(Original post by Anonymous)
how am I twisting everything?
I gave you my reasons for leaving the place and I had plenty more. Going in there wasn't a decision i took lightly and after leaving treatment I was in a really dark place. You don't know what it was like or how I felt, how I still feel most days.
But you're right, I guess everyone else is more worthy of treatment than I am.
I wonder when psychiatrists are going to take some ****ing responsibility for the recovery of their patients instead of expecting us to do everything ourselves.
You literally have to do it yourself. I've been in treatment and no one can make you better but you. And when I was in treatment there were always contracts for behaviour attendance etc... if you didn't comply you were out. As I said it's not about being worth or not... due to waiting lists services can't invest time and money into someone they feel is unwilling to change. If they've decided that incorrectly then talk to them and explain and apologise... but maybe take some time to calm down. You're massively twisting, catastrophising and very black and white right now. I think you need some time then think about how to move forwards.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by doodle_333)
You literally have to do it yourself. I've been in treatment and no one can make you better but you. And when I was in treatment there were always contracts for behaviour attendance etc... if you didn't comply you were out. As I said it's not about being worth or not... due to waiting lists services can't invest time and money into someone they feel is unwilling to change. If they've decided that incorrectly then talk to them and explain and apologise... but maybe take some time to calm down. You're massively twisting, catastrophising and very black and white right now. I think you need some time then think about how to move forwards.
i'm not twisting or catastrophising. you're just making assumptions and not taking in much of what I'm saying.
it seems to me that when a patient is physically ill and the treatment given to them doesn't work, the fault is in the treatment. Whereas with mental health, if a treatment doesn't work the fault lies with the patient. Doesn't seem very fair to me.
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Rawr789
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I understand but recovering from a mental disorder is alot different than recovering from a physical illness. You seem like you're feeling quite low and that's probably contributing to your actions and how you feel about the situation you're in. To recover from a mental Illness you need to put a lot of effort in yourself and that's why it's so hard to recover from a mental Illness. There is no quick fix for recovering from a mental Illness. If you're not open to exploring the therapies they have available to you, then what are they supposed to do? There's probably someone in a situation similar to yours desperate for the therapies you don't want. Are you getting any support from your family and friends? I think you should talk to your family about this to get a different perspective and then you can start talking about what options you have available to you and how you can start helping yourself.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Rawr789)
I understand but recovering from a mental disorder is alot different than recovering from a physical illness. You seem like you're feeling quite low and that's probably contributing to your actions and how you feel about the situation you're in. To recover from a mental Illness you need to put a lot of effort in yourself and that's why it's so hard to recover from a mental Illness. There is no quick fix for recovering from a mental Illness. If you're not open to exploring the therapies they have available to you, then what are they supposed to do? There's probably someone in a situation similar to yours desperate for the therapies you don't want. Are you getting any support from your family and friends? I think you should talk to your family about this to get a different perspective and then you can start talking about what options you have available to you and how you can start helping yourself.
I dont have any friends or family who would understand.
Its a catch 22. I cant recover on my own without any help. I wasnt even offered MBT which is apparently the therapy of choice for my diagnosis.
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doodle_333
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(Original post by Anonymous)
i'm not twisting or catastrophising. you're just making assumptions and not taking in much of what I'm saying.
it seems to me that when a patient is physically ill and the treatment given to them doesn't work, the fault is in the treatment. Whereas with mental health, if a treatment doesn't work the fault lies with the patient. Doesn't seem very fair to me.
If I had a liver problem and kept drinking alcohol then I would be blamed for treatment not working. All that's usually asked with mental health is that you attend and engage with the treatment you're offered, it's not a high bar.

At the end of the day this is your mind... You're the only one who can change it. I say that as someone who was severely disabled by their mental health and is now working in mental health. Practitioners can only support and advise you along the way.
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Rawr789
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I dont have any friends or family who would understand.
Its a catch 22. I cant recover on my own without any help. I wasnt even offered MBT which is apparently the therapy of choice for my diagnosis.
It doesn't matter that they don't understand, the point is that you haven't got a clear head at the moment and they can provide an outside perspective. You probably feel like the world is against you right now but it's not you just have to try and help yourself more than you have been. There is no easy way to fix mental health, but you do have to put alot of work in yourself and there's no changing that unfortunately.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by doodle_333)
If I had a liver problem and kept drinking alcohol then I would be blamed for treatment not working. All that's usually asked with mental health is that you attend and engage with the treatment you're offered, it's not a high bar.

At the end of the day this is your mind... You're the only one who can change it. I say that as someone who was severely disabled by their mental health and is now working in mental health. Practitioners can only support and advise you along the way.
that's not really fair. i've been engaging for years with different talking therapies and medications and nothing worked. I can't be expected to just cure myself. I have a lot of experience in being in mental health services and I can tell you doctors don't know what they're ****ing doing half the time, it's all just trial and error.
i guess it's the end of the line for me then.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Rawr789)
It doesn't matter that they don't understand, the point is that you haven't got a clear head at the moment and they can provide an outside perspective. You probably feel like the world is against you right now but it's not you just have to try and help yourself more than you have been. There is no easy way to fix mental health, but you do have to put alot of work in yourself and there's no changing that unfortunately.
what do you mean it doesnt matter that they don't understand? lol.
it would be like coming out as gay to orthodox catholic parents. It doesnt work.
I have a clear head. don't be so patronising.
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Anonymous #1
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all psychology and psychiatry consists of is trial and error, try this and try that, and after a while if it doesn't work they just give up on you and write you off.
and I'm studying the subject! but i've lost all faith in it. lol.
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Rawr789
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(Original post by Anonymous)
what do you mean it doesnt matter that they don't understand? lol.
it would be like coming out as gay to orthodox catholic parents. It doesnt work.
I have a clear head. don't be so patronising.
Dude you're just coming up with excuses, the point is if you don't try it's never going to work. If you don't try speaking to your friends and family then you're never going to get support from them, I'm sorry but that's just how it is. I may be being a little harsh but honestly when it comes to mental health you have to put alot of effort in yourself. You're seeing everything so negatively and I completely understand why but there are things you, yourself can do to feel better you just have to have the hope that eventually you will get better.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Rawr789)
Dude you're just coming up with excuses, the point is if you don't try it's never going to work. If you don't try speaking to your friends and family then you're never going to get support from them, I'm sorry but that's just how it is. I may be being a little harsh but honestly when it comes to mental health you have to put alot of effort in yourself. You're seeing everything so negatively and I completely understand why but there are things you, yourself can do to feel better you just have to have the hope that eventually you will get better.
i don't have friends. my family know me and the way I am, they just understandably dont know what the **** they're supposed to do about it, they're not professionals.
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HGS345
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(Original post by Anonymous)
They expect me to show commitment towards a program by first attending loads of one to one meetings before I'm being offered anything, but I can't possibly do that when I'm at my lowest and everything seems pointless.
Is it possible for you to attend these meetings to get onto the desired programme? If it is then you should probably attend, as if you're at a real low then you should do whatever you can to get onto these programmes.

Please don't feel like the doctors don't care. As others have mentioned, the services are severely financially restricted, especially with all the BREXIT rubbish happening, so they have to make these decisions that have a financial aspect to them, but only because they have to, not because they want to.

Don't feel like it's the end of the line, there are people who've lost all hope but have come out of it stronger. You have to keep fighting.
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