Had Enough Watch
The background story is basically that my dad has an anxiety condition. Went undiagnosed for 35 years and haven't had the best experiences in childhood. He'd fly into rages over the smallest of things, been locked out the house at the age of 8, he's trashed the house before, had to have the police round. Not very pretty. He sought help after a pretty disastorous holiday abroad in 2002, and was diagnosed and given tablets to take every day. His mood improved a LOT. Things have been so much better since.
We've had some scary episodes since, mind, as he has attempted to come off his tablets before. It's so obvious when he does. Gets irate about tiny things, smashes things etc. The latest one was a few months ago in which I was scrubbing gravy off the kitchen walls and cleaning up a smashed jug. Whenever he gets like it now, i get in the car and stop somewhere else. I can't handle sticking around.
About 3 weeks ago I heard him talking to my mom saying he was going to come off them again because of the weight gain side effect. The next morning I asked her and she confirmed it, and it sent me into a frenzy. I said I couldn't have his violent reactions when I'm studying for my final A2 exams. She spoke to him and he promised to keep off them until I'd finished.
Judging by his behaviour, he's kept no such promise. The bulk of my exams have just passed. I had one every day in the last week which has been tough, which ironically has been the week his behaviour has been most noticeable. Last sunday my brother stopped over. Dad asked him to go to the shop on sunday for him. He said he didnt want go.. dad flew off the handle. I packed a bag and prepared in advance to leave in case he got bad tempered with me. I kept out the way but when he heard me having a bath, I got yelled at for it because I'd showered the day before. So i had a quick bath and left.
This week he's had very short but sharp moods, for the littliest of things. He was trying to explain something technical to grandad. Being 85, he got confused. Dad became angry and took it out on me, yelling at me for taking the doritos despite him saying I could have some. Stupid thing to get annoyed about yet again. So i put them back and kept out his way. His mood subsided.
The last day or two has been bad. He said there was water leaking from my window. I asked which one, and he yelled at me for it being a stupid question and I should look myself. Well, I do have two, it would have been easier to just answer my question really. Today i was revising and he put on some really loud music downstairs and kept the doors open. He said I could turn it down and when I did I got "You may as well have turned it off"... "He says I disturb him yet he's the one disturbing me all the time".
All I really want is some peace and quiet. I've been stressing out majorly about these final exams, which he shown no support for. He hasn't asked at all how I've found them, and during a time which I just wanted quiet he's completely ripped out and redone the bathroom, rewired the house alarm system, and cleared out the radiator heating system.
Today I've just broken down twice, which I didn't intend to do. Have been trying to keep it together, but he's just so vile and malevolent when he's not on his meds. Whatever I say I'll get sarcasm back, or if I don't reply he'll shout "Why don't you answer people?!". It's constant picking at me and all I want to do is keep out of the way. I've been terrified all day of either walking around too heavily upstairs, playing music a bit too loud. Really been walking on egg shells and it's just un-necessary stress.
It's best to stay away in situations like these.
I really think you should confront him about it. Sometimes you have to bite the bullet and if this is really making you depressed you need to sort it out. How is your mum feeling about it all?