Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 11 years ago
#1
So I'm doing this friends with benefit thing with a guy. Before the whole thing started, I was honest with him and told that I don't have a boyfriend and not looking for one. He said the same thing abt not having a girlfriend and not looking for one.

Fastwarrd 8 months later (2 nights ago), while we were at a resturant he told he has a girlfriend named Emily, who lives in another city. I don't mind cos it is just sex and I'm not interested in him in that way. However, I told him that night that we are gonna have to stop having sex since I don't want to the 'the othe girl' or the girl that he cheated on his girfriend with. But, well, that night we got a bit drunk/tipsy and we had sex. After the whole sex and when I sobered up, I told him I felt guilty and we kinda had a bit argument. He said it does not matter cos now he is finished with Emily (which I don't believe) and that the whole karma thing does not exist if that is what I'm scared of.

However, He was supposed to meet me tonight so we can go grab a pizza and he called and cancelled (something he has never done b4).

Now this puts me in a delimma. What it wrong for me to feel guilty and tell him abt it? What does this mean-that we are no more friends (cos the night that stuff happened, he left my place a bit angry. and he is quite arrogant). So I'm thinking maybe he feels hurt that I 'rejected' him and I bruised his ego and now he does not want to be friends...just friend.

What do you thing is going on? Any emedy cos I quite valued our friendship. Please help me.
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generalbumaround
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#2
Report 11 years ago
#2
Firstly, I have to congratulate you for telling him you don't want to be 'the girl that so-and-so cheated on his girlfriend with'. Good on you, girl!

I think that he's annoyed that you can't be his 'bit on the side' when he's going out with this girl...and fair play to you, I wouldn't like to be the third wheel either - he can't have his cake and eat it!

Of course it wasn't wrong for you to feel guilty, that just shows that you're a girl with morals...unlike this, 'scuse my french, ******** who thinks he can have you and Emily, even trying to get that by lying to you...

I think you're right, you probably have bruised his ego, (something that men need sometimes when their heads get too big) and is too proud to admit he was wrong to get angry with you and ask for forgiveness. Don't take him back or apologise to him...let him think about it for a bit and apologise to you and beg for your friendship himself. If he doesn't, he obviously doesn't value it as much as you do and isn't worthy of your friendship. You don't deserve to be used like that.

Lauren
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squeak
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#3
Report 11 years ago
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try and talk to him?

forget about him?
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34598
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#4
Report 11 years ago
#4
thats great you told him that! its good to let him know if you feel something is wrong.. maybe he didnt cancell for that reason though, maybe it was just something else? see how things go.. maybe he did realise that he was doing something he shouldnt.. but either way if you just wait a bit then everything will sort itself out?
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sinical
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#5
Report 10 years ago
#5
k on that note, i have similar situation that you guys may be able to help me with... please?

i recently broke up with my boyfriend of one year coz our relationship is f**ed and not going anywhere (i mean his mother told him to break up with me and he did - at the age 25) but were still very good friends and are able to chat and party together with no hard feelings.

So since we both didn't want to give up great sex we decided friends with benefits and it went really great (for a week) until he hooked up with my good friend right in front of me and i decided to return the favour and had great sex with his bed friend (obviously not infront of him). me and the best friend were cool about it and saw it for what it was but my ex boyfriend freeked! he told both of us how disappointed he was and how inconcidereate... blah blah the whole long story.

the thing is now hes getting together with this friend of mine (well not that i have allot of respect for her) and can apsolutely not understand why thats unfair of him... i mean i just found out that this "new" girl doesn't know about me and my ex's FWB deal and i'm pretty sure she'll quite dirty and cheated when she eventually does find out - which i told my ex to do on several occations - i refuse to have sex with him until he dose tell her coz i beleve in truth and honesty.

my ex doesn't understand why it would hurt me to see him hook up with my good friend infront of me a week after we broke up,
he doesn't see that this action of his motivated me to have sex with his best friend,

he refuses to tell the truth to my good skanky friend (sorry)

and he blames the whole situation on me beeing emotional and dishonest about my feelings for him... come on a guy who believes his mother is god! do i sound like someone who gets turned on by that kinda thing

his best friend (the one i had the one night stand with) says the only solution is a 4some (and he says this with a dead honest sraight face) but then again he is one hell of a horny bugger and i don't know how thats gonna work anything out to be honest except maybe a tick on the list "to do before you turn 30"

so guys - some help? some advice? what am i doing wrong?
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