Should I just leave him Watch

BarelyHere
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Me and D have been together for a year and a half, he stopped talking to his female friends because they all disrespected me and one of them made a move on him when she found out I was around. He left me for the one that made a move for a day before realising his mistake and coming back, this was at the beginning of our relationship.Fast forward to a few months ago, I kissed a girl while I was drunk and he thinks of this as me cheating because I'm bisexual, fair enough but this drags on to now.There's a lad named M in my workplace and I've been having casual conversations with him over Snapchat, who offered to bring me food once my shift ended one night. He bought me more than I expected so I asked him whether he wanted to stay for a little while, in my car, just talking.Half an hour goes by and I realise I havent told anyone where I am, I'm a new driver so everyone still worries about me driving at night. I message D and tell him work was good and that I'd speak to him later. He asked me where I was, and I told him. He was not happy.I wanted to tell him what I was doing over the phone when I was home because doing things over text doesnt work for us, but because he had to ask me where I was before I told him, this means I never intended to tell him, and that I was keeping it from him, and I've probably cheated on him but wont admit it, or at least I want to. He told me it was him or M, and told me he wouldnt stay with me unless I stopped talking to M all together.I reluctantly complied. I wanted to talk to M because we shared mutual experiences that I've never been able to relate to anybody else about, which inherently means D isnt good enough and I'd rather be with M. Isnt true.We ended up having an argument last night and he told me he "****ing hates me" and followed up with "I'm scared to lose you, that's why I'm acting like this." He doesnt trust me because I told him I stopped talking to someone I hadn't at the start of our relationship, but did as soon as he told me to. This is more of a vent than wanting advice because everybody thinks exactly the same of him. I'm so embarrassed of him.
Last edited by BarelyHere; 2 months ago
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Rock Fan
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(Original post by BarelyHere)
Me and D have been together for a year and a half, he stopped talking to his female friends because they all disrespected me and one of them made a move on him when she found out I was around. He left me for the one that made a move for a day before realising his mistake and coming back, this was at the beginning of our relationship.Fast forward to a few months ago, I kissed a girl while I was drunk and he thinks of this as me cheating because I'm bisexual, fair enough but this drags on to now.There's a lad named M in my workplace and I've been having casual conversations with him over Snapchat, who offered to bring me food once my shift ended one night. He bought me more than I expected so I asked him whether he wanted to stay for a little while, in my car, just talking.Half an hour goes by and I realise I havent told anyone where I am, I'm a new driver so everyone still worries about me driving at night. I message D and tell him work was good and that I'd speak to him later. He asked me where I was, and I told him. He was not happy.I wanted to tell him what I was doing over the phone when I was home because doing things over text doesnt work for us, but because he had to ask me where I was before I told him, this means I never intended to tell him, and that I was keeping it from him, and I've probably cheated on him but wont admit it, or at least I want to. He told me it was him or M, and told me he wouldnt stay with me unless I stopped talking to M all together.I reluctantly complied. I wanted to talk to M because we shared mutual experiences that I've never been able to relate to anybody else about, which inherently means D isnt good enough and I'd rather be with M. Isnt true.We ended up having an argument last night and he told me he:
The relationship sounds toxic, I would end it because it seems there's a lack of trust. You kissing a girl is still cheating as well
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Rock Fan)
The relationship sounds toxic, I would end it because it seems there's a lack of trust. You kissing a girl is still cheating as well
Theres an incredible lack of trust.
Hes perfectly fine with me kissing other girls while he's there, and I asked him beforehand what he would do if I kissed a girl while he wasnt there and I'm damn sure he said that was okay too. Clearly I misunderstood.
After that happened he was fine with me kissing someone else while he was there, he encourages it while hes there.
I took responsibility for it but he thinks I'm just looking for an excuse to cheat on him now.
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BarelyHere
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Theres an incredible lack of trust.
Hes perfectly fine with me kissing other girls while he's there, and I asked him beforehand what he would do if I kissed a girl while he wasnt there and I'm damn sure he said that was okay too. Clearly I misunderstood.
After that happened he was fine with me kissing someone else while he was there, he encourages it while hes there.
I took responsibility for it but he thinks I'm just looking for an excuse to cheat on him now.
He's helped me through a lot, and I am a lot to handle sometimes, but because I want to talk to friends about things that I dont want to burden him with, it means inherently that hes not good enough.
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samrichardsonn
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Previous post summed it up. You can't have a functioning relationship without trust. It's the fundamental thing to all relationships
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Rock Fan
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Theres an incredible lack of trust.
Hes perfectly fine with me kissing other girls while he's there, and I asked him beforehand what he would do if I kissed a girl while he wasnt there and I'm damn sure he said that was okay too. Clearly I misunderstood.
After that happened he was fine with me kissing someone else while he was there, he encourages it while hes there.
I took responsibility for it but he thinks I'm just looking for an excuse to cheat on him now.
Like I said think this relationship had run it's course
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BarelyHere
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(Original post by samrichardsonn)
Previous post summed it up. You can't have a functioning relationship without trust. It's the fundamental thing to all relationships
I'm trying to evaluate how much of this is my fault.
When we broke up before he decided to w*nk with me over facetime, then go kiss another girl. He said it was okay because we weren't together, although he instigated that.
He talked to the girl he dumped me for months later and didnt tell me for hours, I dont have massive trust issues with him, just the girls hes surrounded by because they're the types who'd have anything they're given
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samrichardsonn
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(Original post by BarelyHere)
I'm trying to evaluate how much of this is my fault.
When we broke up before he decided to w*nk with me over facetime, then go kiss another girl. He said it was okay because we weren't together, although he instigated that.
He talked to the girl he dumped me for months later and didnt tell me for hours, I dont have massive trust issues with him, just the girls hes surrounded by because they're the types who'd have anything they're given
I wouldn't think too much into who is to blame or what not.

If you want the relationship to work then the best advice I could give is to just talk it all out with him, come up with a compromise. Communication is key
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(Original post by samrichardsonn)
I wouldn't think too much into who is to blame or what not.

If you want the relationship to work then the best advice I could give is to just talk it all out with him, come up with a compromise. Communication is key
Very often when I attempt to communicate, he'll ignore my messages/ calls, turn away from me, get up in his car and leave, ignore me. He thinks the way to get over things is by ignoring they ever happened. This worked with our last breakup, and I was happy to ignore it too so that worked. But all the communication we've had this time is me telling him he doesn't need to feel insecure and him just telling me I'm looking for an excuse to cheat on him and I'm a liar
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