Am I being sexist?? Want a female examiner:(

I am a female and my driving instructor is also female.
I dont feel comfortable around males, I'm a closeted lesbian btw. I dnt think that has anything to do with this

I had a driving test a few days back and failed, I have anxiety and the examiner is a male, theres no female examiners.
And I end up not doing well i feel its because i have a man driving instructor :frown:

I know it sounds silly but it's true.

And my anxiety just gets so much worse! I dont know what to do. I probably sound so silly- I havent told anyone this.

Even my instructor says how something happens to me when I have my test because otherwise I'm a good driver and should he passing.

Reply 1

Anonymous #2

Original post by Anonymous

I don't think you're being unreasonable; I would definitely have a google and see if there's an option to choose which gender your test instructor is. If there's none at you centre, I would look nearby and tell your instructor you want to go there because a 'friend' had a good experience doing her test there, or something, if you don't want them to know - but I'm sure they would understand anyway.

I think there must be some kind of protocol for it considering people who have been traumatised by one gender or the other because of past experiences etc.

Don't feel like you're being sexist -- you're in an enclosed space with a stranger for 40 mins which can be bad enough if you have anxiety, let alone if you're just not comfortable around men! Plus, taking into account how stressful tests can be anyway

I would have a look at other test centres in your area :redface:

Reply 2

Anonymous #3

Sorry to say but what you are saying is sexist. I understand that being next to men makes you uncomfortable but that does not change the fact that its sexist. I would be shocked if they allow you to choose the gender of the instructor. My opinion is to try your best to overcome your anxiety. You wont be able to live your life avoiding these type of situations forever. It's not gonna be easy but its not healthy to avoid these situations

Reply 3

username4889668

Original post by Anonymous

It’s not sexist to actually feel uncomfortable around men. OP should try to get over her anxiety, but if that’s sexist then me being scared sh*tless walking down an alley way with men near me is sexist.

Reply 4

Anonymous #3

Original post by Kristen1283

The man/instructor has never done anything to her. If you are uncomfortable around someone because of their gender that's sexism. Treating someone different solely based on their gender. I'm not saying your a bad person for feeling this way, I dont know your history with men, but that doesn't change the meaning of the word. Also you are scared sh*tless because you are in an alley way alone not because of a man, or else you would be scared shi*tless all your life. And I dont think you are.

Reply 5

captainamerica77

Its fine to have a preference... Id prefer a male intructor cause if they were female I would look at them and not the road... get me?

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

Thank you!
You have put me at ease :smile:

Reply 7

Elle.c

You are not being sexist. Some people have preferences which is perfectly fine & common. If you are not comfortable telling your current instructor that you would like a female instructor than as another user said above, just make up an excuse :smile:

Reply 8

mnot

Universities Forum Helper

Original post by Anonymous

What difference does it make?

All they do is tell you where to go and make some marks on a piece of paper.

If you are so unsettled that you cant pass the test, purely on the presence of a man the you are not safe behind the wheel and shouldn't be driving.