Need some views on this guys, i am lost [long issue] Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 11 years ago
#1
Please keep this anon, if not do not post it please.

Well I am a bit pissed off and not a happy but need yours guys views on this issue and be honest and balanced if you can.

Well this all starts from me liking a girl. I know been a few of these but I just need your views on this.

I recently went out on a date with a friend from college, who i have liked a lot, she has a great personality and is good looking etc. We went out for a drink and my best mate called me up asking if he could come out, he does not have many friends and I felt bad saying no I am on a date, As i was only out for a drink so I asked the girl I was with and she said yeah let him come out. So he did.

Well this girl and my friend met, which went well but then I was to find that they actually work for the same company and they started talking about work issues, things I had no clue about and I kept trying to change the conversation on to other things, a number of times but ever time it would always go back to work issue and the girl i was with could tell I was trying to change the conversations, it was just my friend who was not. Well after about 2 hours of this I was by far not pleased and then my friends started to **** me of and be patronising towards me in front of this girl and he knew i so liked her.

Well after he was doing that I went to the bar to get a few pints and just started to drink, I was sick of trying to change the conversation as every time I did it always went back onto the same topic as my friend seemed empowered that work was going to be discussed. So after a few hours of this I was pissed of and just was drinking and leaving them to it and then started to get ****ged of and told that I was not contributing to the conversation when they know so well that I have no idea what they are talking about. So after getting belittled and felt so small by my mate, when this was my date i had a few more.

They then got up and said they are going to Mac D’s and that I have to wait her for them, i was like wtf and just looked at them with a lost face. They went and i was like really expect me to wait her now, no, so I got up and went home.

Tonight I met up with this friend and the short version of out discussion was that something between him and this girl did happen but its none of my business to know, even thought he knows that I like her a lot and thats its my fault for him and this girl for meetings, i should not have invited him out and I brought it upon myself for leaving! Basically its all my fault he wont accept any blame, yes I should not have left but seriously if you just been left in a pub on your own with your best mate going to the chippy with the girl you like a lot and told to wait in a ****ty way, would you wait?

But yeah my question is, what do you think? Did I bring this upon myself? Was it my fault as my friend said. I left, something happened I should accept that it was down to me etc. As in a way I feel betrayed as I so bloody like this girl and my mate knows this and for him to just jump in, he is a virgin and I think he just see’s her as a meal ticket in a way but I don’t know after tonight I am lost with what to think

Thanks

:tsr2:
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FrancisM89
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Buddy, your mate sounds like a right eejit, no disrespect. Firstly, the only reason they knew each other was because you were being a good mate. Secondly, if he knew you liked her then it ought to be a no go zone regardless. You say he's not very popular, I think I can guess why!
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cutcopy
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Please keep this anon, if not do not post it please.

Well I am a bit pissed off and not a happy but need yours guys views on this issue and be honest and balanced if you can.

Well this all starts from me liking a girl. I know been a few of these but I just need your views on this.

I recently went out on a date with a friend from college, who i have liked a lot, she has a great personality and is good looking etc. We went out for a drink and my best mate called me up asking if he could come out, he does not have many friends and I felt bad saying no I am on a date, As i was only out for a drink so I asked the girl I was with and she said yeah let him come out. So he did.

Well this girl and my friend met, which went well but then I was to find that they actually work for the same company and they started talking about work issues, things I had no clue about and I kept trying to change the conversation on to other things, a number of times but ever time it would always go back to work issue and the girl i was with could tell I was trying to change the conversations, it was just my friend who was not. Well after about 2 hours of this I was by far not pleased and then my friends started to **** me of and be patronising towards me in front of this girl and he knew i so liked her.

Well after he was doing that I went to the bar to get a few pints and just started to drink, I was sick of trying to change the conversation as every time I did it always went back onto the same topic as my friend seemed empowered that work was going to be discussed. So after a few hours of this I was pissed of and just was drinking and leaving them to it and then started to get ****ged of and told that I was not contributing to the conversation when they know so well that I have no idea what they are talking about. So after getting belittled and felt so small by my mate, when this was my date i had a few more.

They then got up and said they are going to Mac D’s and that I have to wait her for them, i was like wtf and just looked at them with a lost face. They went and i was like really expect me to wait her now, no, so I got up and went home.

Tonight I met up with this friend and the short version of out discussion was that something between him and this girl did happen but its none of my business to know, even thought he knows that I like her a lot and thats its my fault for him and this girl for meetings, i should not have invited him out and I brought it upon myself for leaving! Basically its all my fault he wont accept any blame, yes I should not have left but seriously if you just been left in a pub on your own with your best mate going to the chippy with the girl you like a lot and told to wait in a ****ty way, would you wait?

But yeah my question is, what do you think? Did I bring this upon myself? Was it my fault as my friend said. I left, something happened I should accept that it was down to me etc. As in a way I feel betrayed as I so bloody like this girl and my mate knows this and for him to just jump in, he is a virgin and I think he just see’s her as a meal ticket in a way but I don’t know after tonight I am lost with what to think

Thanks

:tsr2:
He sounds like an absolute a.hole. That'll teach you to pity your 'mates'. Live and learn, eh?
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Alex D
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He sounds like a bit of an arse to me, if your supposed to be best friends and he's pulling that kind of **** behind your back!! I wouldn't say it was remotely your fault and you shouldn't accept it was down to you!! Now, go outside and find a big stick then hunt him down and let him have it.
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No.666
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That doesn't sound like the actions of a best mate...
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Anonymous #1
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Thank you for what you have said to far. The girl I like has just called me up asking to meet as she wants to talk to me 2mos. My best mate, wlel if I can call him that has blocked me and done the sad thing of removing me from his myspace friends.. wow.

The way he was having a go at me today was liek it was my fault and thats what made me post it here, I kept asking the question, was it it my fault? I know if you tell ur best mate you like a girl it should be a no go area but i guess not
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3105
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(Original post by No.666)
That doesn't sound like the actions of a best mate...
Agreed. He isn't your friend. The fact that he said it 'isn't your business to know' would make me extra angry.

She doesn't sound very nice either.

(Original post by Anonymous)
The way he was having a go at me today was liek it was my fault and thats what made me post it here, I kept asking the question, was it it my fault? I know if you tell ur best mate you like a girl it should be a no go area but i guess not
I wouldn't say it's a no go area normally, but the method in which he did it makes it so.
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miki_da_magpie
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She sounds like a whore and your mate sounds like a prick. Be glad for them, they make a great couple. You're better off with someone else!
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kaal1010
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your 'mate' sounds like a bell and the girl doesen't seem like much to worry about if she'd do that
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FrancisM89
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(Original post by Anonymous)
My best mate, wlel if I can call him that has blocked me and done the sad thing of removing me from his myspace friends.. wow.
He should be grovelling! Vice versa I'd understand, but he's the one who metaphorically stabbed you in the back, to me it sums up he is an utter ******
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Mike_P
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(Original post by miki_da_magpie)
She sounds like a whore and your mate sounds like a prick. Be glad for them, they make a great couple. You're better off with someone else!
I think that's the most fair conclusion. As others said, not very nice by this guy you know. But, certainly not nice by this girl to just leave you there and strove off with your mate unregardinlgy if you were having a date or not. This behaviour is not what you deserve.
I'm not saying to forget about her if you do like her much, but I would bring it up with her if keeping seeing her - Otherwise, I guess she thinks its okay to just get rid of you one minute and call to meet you the next.
Keep us updated mate!
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Somebody
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#12
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*huuuuugs*

Seriously not your fault. You were just being a good mate, and asked your date before agreeing too. He's really not much of a friend if he's willing to do that to you.
Did you tell him who you were seeing that evening? I mean, if he knew you were seeing her, he may have used you. Making it even worse.

It's really not nice to be the 3rd wheel anywhere - especially when one of the other 2 weren't even supposed to be there. If your "friend" kept intentionally steering the conversation away from what you could join in with and then ****ged you off, he's really a complete idiot.

I'd say you're better off without your friend.

As for the girl? Well, she may have been nervous on the date. But ignoring you too wasn't the nicest thing to do.
If you want to meet up with her, do. And tell her how you feel about what happened. Don't make it a long meeting. I wouldn't advise meeting her again (or getting angry). Not in the short run anyways.

*hugs again*

Hope you feel better soon. But it was NOT your fault at all.
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mr-breaker
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I recently went out on a date with a friend from college, who i have liked a lot, she has a great personality and is good looking etc. We went out for a drink and my best mate called me up asking if he could come out, he does not have many friends and I felt bad saying no I am on a date, As i was only out for a drink so I asked the girl I was with and she said yeah let him come out. So he did.
Mistake. This one decision causes all the trouble later on.
Learn the lesson.........in a situation like this, when your gut is saying "no way", tell him "this is between A and B, so C your way someplace else"..........


Well this girl and my friend met, which went well but then I was to find that they actually work for the same company and they started talking about work issues, things I had no clue about and I kept trying to change the conversation on to other things, a number of times but ever time it would always go back to work issue and the girl i was with could tell I was trying to change the conversations, it was just my friend who was not. Well after about 2 hours of this I was by far not pleased and then my friends started to **** me of and be patronising towards me in front of this girl and he knew i so liked her.
YOU SEE?

(BTW friends should be in quote marks there).

It's like you're sitting behind the wheel, but someone else is driving, AND commenting on YOUR poor driving skills :nn:

The worse thing is that you can't do much without looking like a ****.........if that matters to you..................

Why did you give up control of the situation so easily?????


Well after he was doing that I went to the bar to get a few pints and just started to drink, I was sick of trying to change the conversation as every time I did it always went back onto the same topic as my friend seemed empowered that work was going to be discussed. So after a few hours of this I was pissed of and just was drinking and leaving them to it and then started to get ****ged of and told that I was not contributing to the conversation when they know so well that I have no idea what they are talking about. So after getting belittled and felt so small by my mate, when this was my date i had a few more.
It's no longer a date.................and who's fault is that???? The best move at this point is just to leave, and find a woman who will respect you better.......If she happens to be in the same bar........jackpot!!!!!


They then got up and said they are going to Mac D’s and that I have to wait her for them, i was like wtf and just looked at them with a lost face. They went and i was like really expect me to wait her now, no, so I got up and went home.
:shock: Ah snap!

You just got merked!

At least you didn't wait..........that would have been total pwnage.......


Tonight I met up with this friend and the short version of out discussion was that something between him and this girl did happen but its none of my business to know, even thought he knows that I like her a lot and thats its my fault for him and this girl for meetings, i should not have invited him out and I brought it upon myself for leaving! Basically its all my fault he wont accept any blame, yes I should not have left but seriously if you just been left in a pub on your own with your best mate going to the chippy with the girl you like a lot and told to wait in a ****ty way, would you wait?
Of course not. But most of us wouldn't have brought the third wheel along...........As snide as this other dude sounds, he's right here (2nd bolded sentence).

And as crazy as it sounds he isn't totally in the wrong. After all, someone invited him out to hang out, and brought female company to boot. Said woman decides to go with him rather than her first choice...........

If you paid for all her drinks that night, do you know what this means.............

She gave you the 1-2 teddy!

But yeah my question is, what do you think? Did I bring this upon myself? Was it my fault as my friend said. I left, something happened I should accept that it was down to me etc. As in a way I feel betrayed as I so bloody like this girl and my mate knows this and for him to just jump in, he is a virgin and I think he just see’s her as a meal ticket in a way but I don’t know after tonight I am lost with what to think
The fact that you like her is irrelevant now..........she chose him instead of you, and she sees you as a lesser man now, so this situation is lost.

You've got to ask yourself how, and more importantly WHY you ever got into this situation...................and find better friends!

:suith:
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Metal_Gear
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Your friend is a ******. Punch him in the balls for stabbing you in the back.
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Anonymous #1
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Did you tell him who you were seeing that evening? I mean, if he knew you were seeing her, he may have used you. Making it even worse.
Yes, my mate knew it was kinda like a date but he still did wha he did

Learn the lesson.........in a situation like this, when your gut is saying "no way", tell him "this is between A and B, so C your way someplace else"..........
I said that last night when I went out with my mate, that I would never let it happen again. Never will I bring a friend out.

Why did you give up control of the situation so easily?????
I was trying but after a few hours of trying to change the convo and get it back on track, I just gave up It was every time I did it I got knocked back, yes I should have kept on doing so but by the end I fealt so bad that I would rather not be there.

mr-breaker thank you for your input
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candy x
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no no no, i disagree with every one on your opinions of the girl!!! come on..... its not her fault!!!! u get asked out on a date with a block, u go to a pub and he bloody invites a friend along..... HELLO ITS A DATE!!!!! thats even worse than him sat there txting on his phone all night.

ok.... so you may have asked her did she mind.... she's not going to turn round and say no he cant come is she????!!!!! to me inviting your friend along was you out and out saying "i dont like you, i dont want to be with you here on my own, im bored and need extra company" (i no thats not what you were thinking, but its the way your actions came across)

as for "something" happening between them, well theres not really much of an excuse for that, apart from the fact she was probably upset that her date had been ruined.

And the other block.... well he really is a pleb and needs to get a life of his own!!!! he is not your friend, and i severly hope you have little more to do with him!!

my suggestion..... meet with this girl. appologise perfusly for what you did (inviting him along etc) explain that you do like her, tell her that you know some thing went on between them (hopefully this would be followed by an explanation by her) and see where things can go from there.
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rawkingpunkster
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loser
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Magnum Opus
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i agree with candy x, the girl was clearly nervous but she picked up that you were uncomfortable with the conversation. don't blame her, update us on the meeting with her!
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Anonymous #1
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Hey guys,

Well I will tell you what happens tonight. The thing with my friend is a Friday is the night we go out so I felt a bit guilty about that but also he has before invited me out when he has gone out with other friends so I felt a bit of a hypocrite to say no you cannot come. I know in part that I so now should not have but cannot change it now.

And the thing was when I asked her can my friend come, at first I said can my mate come but then I said no it does not matter but she then say oh yeah let him come be fun to meet your friends so I did invite him, she seemed happy with that but unsure if looks can be wrong.
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</gibberish>
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Ultimately you invited someone else upon your one time to create an impression on her;
Said person created a better impression, hence girl walks away with him not you.

You can't invite competition round and then complain when they win, I'm afraid.
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